Might as Well Face it, You're Addicted to Love (Joe Perry/Nikki Sixx)

Chapter 160: The Longest Night Part 2

The night deepens.... Dawn is still hours away; however, time has no meaning here, not when my daughter Josephine is fighting for HER life. It's hard as hell to NOT believe this is my fault, Nikki feels the same...., 'if only I hadn't let her go, but it's what she wanted & for her I would do anything, ANYTHING.' Nikki's voice echoing in my head....my eyes are swollen, face puffy but the TEARS don't stop & all I care about is that my daughter hears MY voice, hears all of US, that she LIVES. It fucking cuts me deeper than anything has, Nikki my beloved honeybee said it himself, that it hurts worse than we were apart for a year.... the year he 'died' & then with the triplets....and it's made all the worse that ELYSSA is the cause of all this. Nikki & I nearly lost Amara, could have.... Still, we could lose Josephine, but Amara? Josephine saved her life, now at the cost of her own.... She kept her nightmares of Elyssa from me especially to protect me. And if I know my oldest daughter, she will save me...save her sister, her mother.... her siblings, ANYONE that she loves over and fucking over, for I would do the SAME.

Now everyone is talking and has to Josephine, sharing their memories of her.... beautiful ones, happy ones, sad ones....in fact, my sons Tony & James have just talked to Josephine, so much pain....so much LOVE. And Now Nikki & I share a look, we haven't pushed her.... but understandably Amara hasn't said anything.... not a word, worrying us.... understandable but it kills us because it kills HER....

"This kills me Joe.... kills us...." Nikki glances worriedly at Amara, "She is so lost.... but it would help her in the end, one day..." He whispers. I caress his cheek with a free hand, exhaling shakily.

"I see it Honeybee.... the guilt, the PAIN.... not being able to fix this....and you...you're right..." I Whisper back & I turn now to Amara, my eldest twin & as softly as I can say to her, pulling her close with her turning & burying her head on the side that Nikki isn't occupying, feeling her tears...., "----Hey baby girl, I know it HURTS, and you feel SO guilty even though it sure the hell AINT your fault. But Amara, she saved YOU....and you did everything you could to do the same for her, to help her. And though, it may not feel like it now....it will help you to talk to your sister and I promise.... She can hear you & your ma & I am right here. No matter what we have going on, we are here for you sweetheart."

A shaky breath, a sob & Amara chokes out, "FOR HER...." So fucking heart breaking, but she is SO damn brave for what she did for Josephine & NOW. She hugs Nikki & I for strength & we move to where Amara now holds Josephine's hands....and if we all weren't crying before.... with her words, even more so....

"Josephine.... I...I...am sorry.... i feel like.... i did this to you.... even though I KNOW its not my fault. You did it for ME, for Dad.... for the US. It just hurts SO much, but I need to tell you.... THANK YOU. Though words don't seem like enough, I know you hear me. Hear me now Josey, don't GO.... i can't lose my best friend in this world, you're more than just my sister.... Your best friend. And I think I speak for our brothers & sisters too...." Amara pauses a moment, closing her eyes before opening them again. "---Ever since I can remember, I've always followed you...wherever you went, whatever you did. You've got that larger-than-life personality, when you walk into a room.... Everyone pays attention. You don't see, just how BEAUTIFUL you are. You've been through so much in your life already at your age & STILL you're the sweetest, kindest person on the planet. You've got a big heart, don't lose that Josey...we need you; I need you...." Here she looks to Nikki & I, looking around at everyone before looking back at us....

"ITS OK..." We whisper. "We've got you...."

Amara takes a shuddery breath before once more continuing, her gaze...my gaze returning to her sister, "---You came after me, I'd never seen you so angry...so scared, but still you gave that bitch hell...and she said, 'You've got your father's mouth & your so-called mother's balls'....course it made you mad, as it did me her saying such cruel things after that....but, I guess the point is....i saw a spark of pride at that, having dad's mouth & all. Don't lose that either Josey. I love you; I love you...and PLEASE fight, please come back...." Amara is at last spent, nearly collapsing, as Nikki & I hold her.

Josephine is a Perry, MY daughter.... mine & Nikki's, she's got our blood.... she doesn't know how to quit just like us.... i pray she doesn't NOW, but something tells me she WONT.....

More time passes, talking to Josephine......encouraging her, telling her we've got her...and when.... she wakes; we will celebrate her birthday.... celebrate HER. And then.... then I see LIGHT, Dawn.... a new day is breaking....and Josephine, Josephine has survived the night, winning her first major battle though there is still such a long heart-breaking road ahead....

"Nikki.... Nikki.... LOOK...." I get his & everyone's attention, and his eyes widen....

"Joe.... JOE...." His voice cracks, the tears renew. "It's DAWN.... she's.... she MADE IT, made it thru the night.... She HEARD US, she HEARS US. She is fighting Joe.... fighting.... still my heart breaks, that she's gonna still be in a coma.... but I am so fucking proud of her." I kiss him gently, to give him strength and hug my precious children to me....and somewhere in this I check on Storm who slept better with her oldest sister's 'Bee-Bee' watching over her, a way that Josephine took care of her, DOES take care of her......

Tests follow.... dressings get changed....and my heart breaks all over again once we receive the bitter-sweet & heart-breaking news of Josephine being in a coma. Still, she fights for her life, but a major battle her first among many has been WON.

Happy Birthday, my dearest Sweet Bee Josephine. This wasn't how this day was supposed to go, but you fought....and still are with us, I am proud of you for fighting. You've one your first major battle, one among many still to come & though it kills your Ma & I that you're condemned to a living 'death' still you are WITH us & though the light is dim it isn't forever extinguished. Keep fighting Josephine, and so will we...we will NEVER QUIT. And neither will you.

Josephine made it thru the night......no brain-damage if you are wondering, but still it was heart-breaking to see her lying there. I see it now....and the nightmares came, seeing her blood spilling...the days that passed after her birthday were filled with heartbreak.... filled with such bittersweetness. Her birthday in question, if you are wondering.... once the tests & all had been done....a frantic Alice, Johnny & their girls arrived & at some point they forced the Perry family to go home, shower.....eat....to take care of ourselves. Johnny & Alice stayed with Josephine. We got Storm back....and just took care of each other.... We tried, tried to rest as much as we could. And in fact, the nights where we were forced or rather reminded to take care of ourselves, family would stay with Josephine all night. Never would she be alone....

We had such SUPPORT, help with my children.... with their school arrangements, you name it & where you next find us...well Nikki will take the reins, but I CAN TELL YOU that it will be just he & I, at our house....no children, whom were with family....he & I VERY reluctantly were forced to take time for us, which we came to realize we needed. But it wasn't easy. Josephine though, I KNEW she KNEW...she understood. In any case, a week will have passed.... or thereabouts.

One more thing: the blanket I'd made for Nikki all those years ago, after the triplet's birth, he made sure it made it to Josephine....so he & I would be holding her, and as Nikki always said, 'It's such a magical blanket, you can feel the LOVE in every stitch.'

A/N: Part 2 done. Next Up the Ballad of Josephine.