Might as Well Face it, You're Addicted to Love (Joe Perry/Nikki Sixx)

Chapter 194: Home, Love & Family (Diary Entry) (Josephine Nicole Perry)

-Dear Diary (September 19,2005)-

Just got off tour with Uncle Alice & Mom's band a week ago.... six days to be exact. The day after the end of tour celebration dinner, we all made our ways 'Home Sweet Home.' Really though, as my parents have taught me, home is wherever you are with the ones you love, whether it's physical or by heart.

But it was ONE hell of a tour as Mom & especially Aunt Vinny said. Epic is only one way mind you to describe it. It was a tour, my first full-fledged one as a member of Uncle Alice's band. Sure, ain't gonna lie, it was grueling at times.... but damn, overall? I learned so much, took too it like a fish to water. Afterall, how could I not be growing up with the most awesome parents on the planet & our family? It was a tour where I felt I came into my own, I kicked ass & my parents, siblings and everyone was and is especially proud.

It was a tour full of surprises, from Dad surprising mom & I, to including my boyfriend in our reunion. God, that was the absolute best! The grueling part was being away from my brothers, my sisters, Dad and my boyfriend. Not seeing them every day hurt, thank God I had mom there...but I learned just how hard it really was to be without your partner & what he & Dad go thru when one is on tour and one at home....I've experienced such already with Hunter, not seeing him I felt like was going insane, but we talked everyday.... we exchanged letters, texted & when he came with Dad & my family? It was like falling in love with him all over again, seeing him for the first time. I guess my point is: always does Hunter and my family come first, came first.... always will. Always though, learning. I missed everyone, but I have parents & siblings that believe in me & my boyfriend, Hunter. It is because of him that I finally believed in myself & see what everyone sees in me...what HE sees. We have given each other that chance......

The day we got home, mom & I especially wound up sleeping like the dead.... Though I tried to be stubborn just like mom & insist on helping. Dad firmly, but gently told me:

"Honey, you've been working so hard with this tour & you've got Queen rehearsals soon.... I am so proud of you, but Josephine you've MORE than earned rest. Always remember that it's ok to rest & slow down, to take time for you. Same goes for your ma. One more thing: Always remember too that I love all parts of you, just like I love all parts of your ma."

I realized or really Dad was/is, right & so I'd gone to bed & really the whole family took naps, so it all worked out. However, I couldn't go to sleep of course until I'd let Hunter know & he told me....

"My Empress, get some rest if not for me for yourself & know that you see me in your dreams, as I see you in mine. I am so proud of you Josephine but moreover, I am PROUD to be YOURS my love."

Hunter had also gone on to say......

"I love all parts of you Josephine, all parts...you've taught me that, taught me so much & I know I have done the same for you. Rest well my love...."

Hunter.... i can't say ENOUGH about how much his words me to me.... how much he does. He supports me, even when I get in my head......at my lowest moments, as I do the same for him. I didn't think strange as it to say even in written form, my dreams would ever come true especially when it came to Hunter & they HAVE. He supports me as I've said, grounds me....calms me like when I have panic attacks, as I had one on tour when we were making out (Parents & or other adult family members were thankfully somewhere else), but yeah the fucking head thing.....it was starting to get heated & my insecurities started to rear their ugly assheads but Hunter...god, he knew just what to do....

For I remember he just held me, me trembling.... realizing we were on the ground & he just held me in his arms & he KNEW why I freaked out telling me:

"Darling....breathe, I know though you're freaking out because of what was done to you in school, and I bloody well want to kick their arses that being a POLITE a way of putting it....i know how much you trust me, like in this moment to still TOUCH you, to comfort you....i won't do anything until you Josephine are ready, till we both are.....hey love, look at me..."

I remember looking at him, already having calmed so much getting lost in those dark eyes of his as he'd continued with:

"----Your more than worth the wait, when it FEELS right.... when the time is right, we my love will know."

I'd whispered to him, "I got in my head again...at one of the worst times but.... You knew just what to do. We'll learn together." I sighed, "I just....part of it is those bad memories like you said....and it's I WANT YOU, just you.... i just, I mean...." I'd fumbled for words, but Hunter who knows me I swear better than I know myself caught on to what I really meant telling me....

"Darling, I know you're not trying to rush things....and I feel the same way, so that's why I always try to do whatever makes you feel comfortable and if I can be honest?" I nodded. "---You deserve to be worshipped....my empress you deserve no less. You are wild.... order & beautiful chaos rolled into one.... though I can't lie, your lips bring me to my knees, you turn me on Josephine without trying." The last part he blushed heavily, so did I... blushing right now as a matter of fact.

I couldn't HELP but smirk at that replying with, "You do the same for me you know, must be that Mercury charm of yours...."

Hunter had smirked back, "Well naturally...." Before he added on more seriously & lovingly, "---Josephine, you don't know truly how much you are seeing me that way, SEEING me period means, I love you.... i love you...." We'd kissed again, but slower...sweeter.

Left unspoken is that neither of us are ready for sex, but one day as he said...we will both know & be ready......Hunter loves & respects me, his actions speak louder than words. There is nothing better than love, than being loved by HIM. I feel at home with him....and of course my family too is my Home Sweet Home.

A couple of more days & I, along with my brothers & sisters, will start rehearsals here in L.A which I am super excited for! I am not the only one of course.... Still as always, the ones I love come first.... Thanks to my extended family, they rented a space for us to use, they'd insisted & it makes sense too because the Perry siblings won't be the only ones to play at Wembley, of course Queen themselves. And of course, my parents & EVERYONE will be there in person. I would have it no other way, still how lucky am I?

A few more things before I quit writing here & rejoin my parents & brothers & sisters' downstairs for dinner:

· Hunter has a surprise date planned for me, and the only thing I know is it will be during rehearsals, thought I HIGHLY suspect it has to do with a date night in, we will see.... either way, any time I am with my boyfriend is honestly a date for me

· Speaking of Hunter, he doesn't know that I plan on surprising HIM very likely during our date with: I designed a replica of Freddie's famous Wembley Jacket, along with the shirt & pants but done to suit my boyfriend. I did it all own my own, made them with my own hands. Mom, he'd helped me with picking out fabrics & such. God, I can't wait to see Hunter's reaction! I've also been working on it in my spare time for months, totally worth it.

· Mom, he designed stage outfits for me & my siblings, which we haven't seen yet, but I know they match Hunter's.

· I love my parents, I love Amara, Tony, Frankie, James & my sweet little rainbow Storm. I love my boyfriend, Hunter.... without them, I wouldn't be here today....no lie.

-End of Entry-

A/N: A Diary style chapter with Josephine & Next chapter Date Night for our favorite young couple with rehearsals underway, ...