Might as Well Face it, You're Addicted to Love (Joe Perry/Nikki Sixx)

Chapter 173: Barely Time to Breathe Part 1 (Amara Rain Perry)

My family, MYSELF and especially and I do mean especially my oldest sister Josephine haven't had time to BREATHE. Even though we've all known deep down ever since that awful night Josephine saved my life & DIED (however briefly) that today of all days the trial of my dad's ex-wife (EVIL EX) begins. NONE of this is FAIR, and these past few months have been so hard....so very hard. Like seeing Josephine suffer thru physical therapy, her nightmares growing worse.... her coma, spending Christmas in the hospital....and THAT really devastated her. Then there's been: my own nightmares, worrying over Josephine and watching as she seemed to mentally struggle more and more.... Her eyes, filled with sorrow and her smiles becoming few and far between and STILL these past few months she's been worried about US more, insisting on taking care of us as she always does and that's HER. My parents, my brothers and my younger sisters.... all of us, this HURTS and I worry that we will lose Josey all over again. Though she and I today, will have to be or have no choice but to be brave and the looks of sorrow and worry carved into mom's & Dad's faces....Storm with family, I think she's with Joey & Tom...all the kids are safe ( everyone's) and we get closer to the courthouse and my anxiety rises and Josephine....she is having a panic attack.....

Before Mom, Dad or Uncle Pink aka Steven Tyler or Aunt Vinny whom are with us in the car ( everyone who's not with the rest of our family will be at the courthouse) I dive practically & wrap my arms around my shaking sister and she holds me back just as desperately......sobbing.....but still I managed to stammer out really trying to calm us BOTH down:

"H-Hey.... b-breathe.... gotta breathe Josephine.... I know, I know....it hurts. W-Wondering...H-HOW you can do this.... WE CAN and have to face the one who stole SO much from you, from the US. Having no time to breathe, having NO choice but to be br-rave it feels. STILL, you've been more worried about everyone and everything else more...c-cause that's YOU and W-Wouldn't change that......and I-I don't wanna...l-lose you.... again..." My voice drops lower and cracks badly at the end.

"T-Too m-much.... its.... too much....my.... head....and m-my heart...." She croaks. I feel those pairs of arms around us know SO WELL: Dad and mom and of course the strength and love of Uncle Pink and Aunt Vinny. "—You lost me once.... but I came back.... i just don't know HOW to come back from THIS. So much PAIN.... anger and our f-family.... I just.... we want. NEED peace." Here she looks up at me, at our parents and looking too towards Steven Tyler and Vince.

She is trembling, so bad....and I am in much the same way. Our parents just holding US, our family and refusing to let go. Gradually we calm down enough and its time, time to exit the car.... camera's flashing even going the back way. Sunglasses on, my parents barking fiercely at people getting too close....Vince nearly breaking people's camera's and faces, Steven in much the same way and then I blink and I find myself on the stand, being sworn in and beginning my harrowing tale and my eyes find those of my elder sister and despite how pain filled her eyes are, still she is giving me her strength.

"---It was supposed to be a celebration; Josephine had just gotten her permit. It was meant to be relaxing, it's what she NEEDED. I, Athena, Persephone and Bobby were all there wanting to cheer her up, cause something was WRONG. She'd been through so much prior to the events of November 14, 2003. So much...." I break down, "Our family had, and I had to go to the bathroom...and I was being watched, felt like it and......"

I recount now how I did use the bathroom but was immediately corned by Elyssa, not knowing at the moment who she was till SHE spilled the beans, she wouldn't let me leave and I was scared out of my mind and then came Josephine, Josephine to save the day...to save me, to PROTECT me and that look of horror on her face as she realized who took me.....and then telling of how Josephine took brutal hits for me and for protecting me, the long hours of being held hostage and then the moment or moments where I lost my best friend in this world ( however briefly).....

"----My sister begged, pleaded with that WOMAN to take her.... she seemed to 'consider' it and so led me out...with Ms. Elyssa shoving me, attempting to 'keep me in line'. There was to be no funny business she told my sister....and the next thing I know is, I hear Josephine shouting my name and footsteps being there in mere seconds it felt like. Josephine pushed me to safety and g-got me d-down but the first shot had already been fired, she jerked.... but STILL was protecting me, I made it to safety but then...." I pause not caring as I break down into sobs stammering out, "---There was another shot, and I turned.... I...never wanted to leave her....my sister FELL stumbling.... bleeding and the cops engaged Elyssa, but I didn't CARE about the danger, I had to help her. Josephine saved my life.... but.... It was almost.... too.... LATE. I t-tried to s-save my sister.... I couldn't stop the bleeding, i tried.... i screamed her name, begging.... BEGGING her not to leave me. There was so much blood....so much, I was covered.... hers was everywhere. I fought the cops, cause I couldn't just leave her....and then.... i almost lost her then and there, but somehow, she kept going...."

I speak more of that feeling of fear, tasting it.... not knowing whether she would die for good, come back or what. Her surgery.... her nearly being gone on the operating table, the fact that she nearly didn't survive the night but the MIRACLE of the fact she did. I talk until I can't.... all but collapsing as they escort me back to my parents and we hold each other, we hold each other weeping but then.... then my sister is escorted/called to the stand....and her eyes catch ours as she seems to say....

'I don't know if I can survive this.... but I am damn sure gonna try, I love you.... I love you all so much. Despite the pain, I'd save you over and over never forget that.'

-Joe Perry POV-

No time to breathe.... Amara breaking down on the stand, the fear and pain in her eyes as she recounted what happened from her point of view. I wish to GOD they'd have let Nikki and I be up there close to her. Still i couldn't help but be proud of her for being so damn brave. Still am, after all how could I NOT be? But then as soon as Amara was safely back with my husband and I, Josephine was escorted up to and called to the stand. She flinched hard seeing my evil psycho ex but then her eyes found ours and especially Amara's as she seemed to say she didn't know if she could survive this, that she was damn sure gonna try and that she loved us.... loved everyone and still despite her pain she would save her sister and us over and over. It broke my husband and I......and the toll it took on our girls, on our family.... our pain, our everything out there laid bare for the world to see. However, we had each other.... We had our extended family, and we would get through it together and FINALLY receive the justice that had so long eluded us, especially my eldest daughters.

Still, I wish to God too.... that they'd never had to go thru what they did especially Josephine and where you will find her is telling her harrowing, heart breaking and VERY NEARLY fatal tale......

A/N: Part 1 of 'Barely time to breathe'. Part 2 is coming soon from Josephine's POV. Stay tuned!