Might as Well Face it, You're Addicted to Love (Joe Perry/Nikki Sixx)

Chapter 121: Recovery of the Heart & Soul Part 1 (Nikki-Perry Sixx)

Nikki here, I can never describe in words how I felt.... being able to SEE. And I mean being able to see my newborns for the first time, seeing my two oldest children & most of all being able to see JOE. Joe is my other half, my true other half. I guess my point here is each moment.... I was able to wake up, to SEE my loved ones, to draw breath, to create memories. I was alive, I was alive because of JOE. His loved saved me and still does to this day....my mind & body would take a while to recover fully. My husband and I had taken that first step, just getting all our feelings out there, though we would still have our days. Now, my physical recovery was a BITCH. I was bound and determined, but I knew my limits. I would never have gotten through it if it wasn't for my beloved husband, our children and our extended family. In fact, where you will find us or me......is amid my physical recovery or rather at the beginning. To be exact the date of February 2, 1995, and here we will pick up our tale....

How has it been what a week, give or take a few days since I've woken up from my coma? Its all so surreal that I am alive.... that Frankie, my youngest daughter is still alive, but damn am I glad she is...that I AM. Joe, Joe has been my absolute rock....my rock, he's never given up on me and I know he won't. right now, though? I am in fucking misery, for they've finally started me on physical therapy.... Joe spear heading after being told how to do certain things by the nurses etc. I nearly FELL even with Joe's help. But I have never loved him more.... he doesn't let go of me, he isn't....AND how long have I been at this again today?

I let loose a sob, shaky......and I gently feel myself held & carried back to my bed, and still Joe doesn't let me go, my head resting in the crook of his neck as I sob. I just HURT.... but my Jo-Jo Bear, oh my Jo-Jo Bear....

"Oh Nikki, I can feel & see how miserable you are right now. I know it hurts babe; I know. You've done enough for today, but baby I am so damn proud of you. You will get there in time, I believe in you Honeybee.... always."

I pull back enough to look at him, and he knows that I need to feel him.... a tender caress of my face and he seals my lips with his own, and it grounds me....it grounds me, as I begin to calm. And once I am calm enough, I find myself saying to my husband, choking up as I am still crying. "---THANK YOU...." Joe gets my true meaning, "---I couldn't do this without you. The pain.... physically, God....it hurts, but you make all that go away.... still, I am fucking sore....and I..." Joe cuts me off with a gentle finger to my lips....

"You will never have to do this with out me....and tell you what, I am gonna massage you & see if that helps with the pain. Just gonna take care of you baby....and if you happen to be wondering, I checked on the kids. They will be bringing them soon. Tony, James, and Frankie are doing well...already gained some weight they need, they need more...but they are getting there. So, they'll be bringing them in for a feeding soon."

How fucking amazing is he?! He just KNOWS, knows what I need.... what I want. He is so in tune with me, it NEVER fails to amaze me. Joe is my soulmate....

Joe kisses me once more & massages my legs especially. His touches gentle & firm....my physical pain, soon enough is much more bearable. And then he takes me in his arms after, just holding me...running his fingers gently thru my hair & I blink, and I hear & see two very precious little girls enter the room: Josephine & Amara. Allow me to interject, Steven Tyler brought them staying long enough to make sure they were ok & to check on me. As well as letting us know if we needed anything, to just say the word. Vince was at home with their son & it turns out, Vince was pregnant again.... around 6 weeks with their second child. (he wasn't there alone by the way, Tommy I believe was there with Stevie & their kids) Also, while I am at it......Johnny Cooper-Depp would at last become pregnant with his & Alice's first child around June 1995 or rather we'd find out he was about 2 months along then. Turned out to be a girl for them & the Neil-Tyler Clan.

"Mommy!" Two excited shouts sound out, me LOVING the sound. Tyler asks how I am doing, and to let us know if we need anything as well as letting us know how Vince is & is soon gone. Next thing I know, Josephine & Amara are in my bed with me, me holding them close ( after they got hugs from Joe of course). I am crying, this time tears of joy.

"Oh I've missed you two! Daddy & I both have....and god, I've missed your brothers & sister, they are bringing them in soon for a feeding & then FINALLY all of us together again." Emotionally, Joe of course is as always holding/touching some part of me & I can never express how much I love that, love HIM.

"Miss'd ew too mommy, wots....an'. Josey pank (Prank) Unka Pink!" Amara chuckles, mischievously for a toddler. She sounds just like her father.

Joe is grinning, "Now this I gotta hear!"

"I hide whoopie cushion in Uncle Pink's favorite chair." Josephine smirks, she may be my clone.... but she has her father's smirk, reminding me so much of him.

I can't help but laugh, "Classic!" Josephine beams proudly.

"We've taught her well Nikki." Joe chuckles, I see the joy in his eyes & the relief that at this moment, I am OK.

I whisper, "We have......and I am glad I am ok right now too. I love you."

"Oh Nikki.... i love you too." He whispers back, eyes shiny with tears. I spend some time with my oldest girls, Joe and I both do.... i am exhausted, but right now my children need me & I am surrounded by so much love & support.... Plus, Tony, James, and Frankie are coming. They are not happy, wailing and waving their little fists in the air.

Josephine & Amara climb down carefully off the hospital bed, staying close to me while Joe, oh my Jo-Jo bear immediately calms down our precious little angels and i hear the words loud & clear....

"I know, I know its feeding time you guys. Mommy had a rough day today, but you know what? We, all of us, make him feel better. We take care of each other, because we love each other. We are a family. there will be rough days, but I & mommy & your sisters will be there to get you thru them. Now let's get you three to mommy, huh? One more thing, I love you three so much....my precious little ones, you and your older sisters...never forget that."

I tell you I can NEVER get over Joe being there for me during my recovery, for always being there. But I guess really what I am trying to do here or say is: I fell more in love with him. I know it wasn't easy on him to see me in so much pain physically and all, but still he never failed to be there for me. It's always been like that since we met, even back when I didn't see it. That day though at the beginning of my physical therapy? Joe made me feel better & so did all five of our children. There was laughter, there were tears & as always so much love & support. 

We will pick up our tale here again, where we left off.... Joe, my beloved Jo-Jo Bear will take the reins. There is so much more to come here in my recovery, but this here was only the start....

A/N: Tears, laughter, family, love & a taste of things to come. More to come soon!