Might as Well Face it, You're Addicted to Love (Joe Perry/Nikki Sixx)

Chapter 153: A Sudden Storm Part 2

July 6, 2003, a date that is permanently apart from me & I don't just mean ink wise (as I have each of my six children's names/birthdates tattooed on me), it's when we experienced a sudden but as it turns out: Beautiful STORM. I remember that day SO well: I'd gotten family i.e. Mick & Co. to look after the triplets as I knew Amara & Josephine would watch over them as well.... but I ESPECIALLY remember of course: NIKKI. My poor beloved Honeybee had...had a rough year the past year by then.... we both did with the miscarriage & then Nikki's constant back pain that started coming around November 2002, just everything took a toll on him....and my family (we as always had each other) but ah yes, back to the day in question. Nikki didn't say ONE WORD & I nearly then & there said 'fuck it' when it came to Aerosmith's show, God was I worried outta my mind! My husband however insisted....and I VERY reluctantly went on stage, BUT I made SURE to take care of Nikki as best I could regardless & to try & get him to rest......that is UNTILL suddenly Mick came to get me, he himself very much worried managing to tell me, it was Nikki....that he NEEDED ME & that my oldest daughter Josephine had followed Nikki.....

And my oldest.... OUR Josephine, I mean so fucking.... WICKED smart figured out Nikki WASN'T having a miscarriage & despite her own fears.... She did what she had to & delivered what turned out to be her little sister & my sixth child with my husband. She acted quickly; she saved Nikki's life.... I mean, I can't tell you what all that truly means to me....to US & where you will find us: waiting to see Nikki, family arriving, and last but sure the hell not least.... a sudden, BEAUTIFUL storm....

My mind is reeling.... the mental images of Nikki lying on that bathroom floor.... the blood, a broken door.... a wailing BABY, a beautiful surprise but already so loved baby & my oldest daughter having DELIVERED said child, I mean...damn, but all these images are running on a loop in my head. I am scared shitless, trying hard to absorb everything.... i don't wanna lose Nikki, they say he's gonna be ok...that he will be, but still those fears....and the anxiousness, the.... worry over my newborn daughter....

"Dad?! Dad! Is it true? Did momma have a baby? Dad.... are YOU ok? Is mom?" Voices, the voices of my children: Amara, Tony, James, Frankie break me out of my reverie & practically tackle me & oh do I hug them & their oldest sister Josephine to me. Also, I am vaguely aware of the concerned, shocked & tearful voices of our extended family.

"Y-Yeah...its.... it's true...." I started fumbling, my voice shaking. "—He had a baby, you h-have a new sister. We.... didn't.... know. and NO, I'm not ok, I'm SCARED but I will be ok.... I have all of you, I still have your ma.... we're not alone..."

Before my children can say anything else.... Steven does, apologetically... his face solemn.

"No, you ain't....and me & the guys were talkin' & well we believe it's best to cancel the tour under the circumstances & do the dates maybe sometime next year, doesn't damn matter when really. We just want him & your newborn...wow, newborn to be ok. Sides something tells me you all NEED this time." It turns out we WOULD, WE DID and not just of course for my beautiful daughter: Storm. 

"THANK YOU..." I manage to breath out, SO beyond grateful & knowing he IS right.

I can't express or begin to what it means to me in words for them to do that & the thing is, it doesn't MATTER about the tour...dates & all that shit can be replaced. Nikki, my surprise newborn but no less loved....my rainbow girl baby that Nikki, NIKKI gave me mean MORE. They can't be replaced, they need me....and I would NEVER under these circumstances leave Nikki, leave any of my SIX children right now. More murmurs, more tears....me anxious as fuck....and a nurse comes out & all eyes NOW focus on a wriggling, wailing, pink & STUNNING bundle......

My five oldest children flank me as the nurse walks towards me, me hardly daring to breathe as she gently hands me my newborn daughter, explaining she's had skin to skin with Nikki & that she will be back shortly.... but right now, this moment.... I will NEVER forget. And I cry.... This is SO beautiful & bitter-sweet & the instant I begin to speak she calms & quits crying:

"Hey.... Hey sweetheart.... its.... It's daddy. I AM your daddy, and it's SO beyond amazing to meet you. You're mine & mommies rainbow baby.... those storms, the storm of losing one of your brother's or sister's before you...brought us YOU. Mommy gave me you, honey we may not have known you were there, we may not have known this was coming.... but my sweet rainbow, you are NO LESS LOVED. You have the most amazing mother, the most.... The most STELLAR older brothers & sisters & the most beautiful, amazing family bar none. This all may be a shock, may be hard at getting used to, but we have each other & we can get thru this TOGETHER." I gently kiss her forehead & her little eyes open....

She has both mine & Nikki's eyes.... a beautiful Hazel Green. Her little face...she looks like James.... a true blend of both me and my beloved Honeybee. She is perfect.... absolutely perfect. And I have something perfect in mind for her.... for her name.

Softly I clear my throat & address my children, especially Josephine & I KNOW in my heart Nikki will agree with me. "Kids.... this, this wasn't planned....i still can't help but feel guilty I didn't know, but its NO LESS beautiful. And did you know your oldest sister saved your ma's life? She DELIVERED your new little sister & I can NEVER thank her enough.... Josephine?" I Take a breath, gently rocking the little angel in my arms watching carefully as Josephine's eyes widen, "I get the feeling, your ma would agree with me on this.... but I would love for you to NAME your sister."

All eyes are on Josephine, who bursts into tears...managing to stammer out, "D-Dad.... are...are you SURE? That's...that's...."

"Honey, YES....and I know your mother, trust me will agree with me on this." I tell her, while the little girl in my arms makes happy sounding noises if I didn't know better.

Josephine takes a deep shaky breath, frowning in thought before slowly replying with, "Well.... she came into our lives like a storm.... But storms bring the most beautiful of rainbows & she IS yours' & Momma's rainbow baby. So, I think Storm...Storm for her first name. And she is so beautiful, beautiful like you & mom...and I think in Italian, well Bianca.... Bianca can mean 'innocence' & 'Beauty' so.... Storm, Storm Bianca Perry." Josephine's smile is watery, my smile.... but of course her expression is PURE Nikki & that really drives it home for me that Nikki approves or will.

"Storm Bianca Perry, it is..." I am declaring & looking into my newest daughter's eyes. STORM'S eyes, I know it is perfect.

Her name is perfect....and Josephine, of course each & every one of my now six children are special.... but my eldest doesn't know how truly SPECIAL she is. She doesn't see it, but some day I believe she will. And in this moment, I hear my sons & my younger daughters hug Josephine, telling her she is a hero.... how awesome she is & everyone.... our entire family is getting in on the action....

Everything like a new nursery, which thank God by this point in our tale we'd added on to our house like with bedrooms & the like.... but those worries, were put aside for that moment. And in fact, speaking of nurseries.... well once Tommy Lee found out. Oh man, he was fucking on it...so by the time we arrived home with Storm, BAM new nursery perfectly decorated. I mean I can never get over that to this day......

I still had my worries, my fears over Nikki.... those couldn't be helped but I had my children.... had my family & had MY Nikki to lean on.... I still had HIM. And sadly, the 'worst storm' is yet to come....but come it will a couple of months from now....literally the day before Josephine's 15th birthday, in the form of my psycho EVIL ex-wife Elyssa who would seek to take my children from me...to HURT ME & would be responsible for Josephine nearly losing HER life, Josephine did it to defend her sister...to save her & to save ME.

But before we get to that, more beautiful.... bitter-sweet moments are still to come....

A/N: Beautiful & Bitter-Sweet moments with a taste of things to come.