Might as Well Face it, You're Addicted to Love (Joe Perry/Nikki Sixx)

Chapter 131: A Summer Gathering Part 2

Conversations, laughter (not too loud, so as not to disturb the babies), ribbing, just FAMILY. And now suddenly the doorbell rings, frantically almost....

Everyone shares surprised/concerned looks like Nikki & I shoot up from the couch, rush to the door to find: Johnny & Alice.

"What happened? We can call the---" I start, preparing to do just that seeing Alice hold a fitfully sleeping Johnny in his arms.

"We just came from the hospital..." he finishes, "Got something to tell you.... he's been really upset & out of it." Referring to Johnny.

Quickly, Nikki & I help get them inside murmuring to one another as we work together with help from everyone to gather: an empty bowl, crackers, ginger ale etc., because we have that FEELING. Finally, Alice, who is carefully holding Johnny in his lap, a still fitfully sleeping Johnny who seems to be crying in his sleep......

Nikki, meanwhile, is in my lap......

Alice sighs, holding back tears. I see the worry, but I see that spark & at last he speaks, "---Nikki, Joe.... everyone, apologies for bursting in like this.... but I feel you guys know what this is about. Johnny, I tried to tell him you'd understand that we couldn't make it on time or if we didn't come. But in the end, I couldn't deny him being with everyone cause I know it means a lot to him & me too. But to make it official, we'd just found out that he's expecting our first child. 2 months according to the doctor. Still been really freaking worried, it's been SO rough for him. He's been freaking out, still is. I am HAPPY, he is too I know.... but still, it's scary as hell for him. I just am doing whatever I can to be there for him, just to take care of him."

"Seriously you don't have to apologize to any of us, we're family. And believe me Alice, I know EXACTLY how he feels. I've been there with each of my pregnancies, especially my first. None of us can blame you for feeling like you do, we've all been there, and I get the feeling you're doing everything you can for him. you're damn good for him...." Nikki pauses a moment, voice growing husky. "---He's in his head, reminding him of being on drugs.... like with paranoia. God, that freaked me out majorly with Josephine....it wasn't but a few months after my overdose 'death'...but would it help if I talked to him do you think?"

Alice exhales, his expressions a mixture of grateful, worried & love as he glances down at Johnny before meeting Nikki's gaze.

"Would you please? I think it would really help him."

"Course.... I'd be happy too.... Nikki says softly, "are you guys staying in a hotel?" Nikki asks.

Alice looks pissed before replying, "We WERE, but they refused to give us our room because they claimed we missed check in. which by the way we didn't...."

I cut him off apologetic with my tone, "Hey.... I don't mean to interrupt. But why don't you guys stay with us while you're here? Plenty of room, we'd be more than happy to help you guys. Its NO trouble." Alice looks floored but does agree to stay with us.

Afterwhile, everyone promising to send stuff for Johnny & Alice, helping in the meantime bringing their bags in & getting them settled in one of our guestrooms that has its own bathroom.... everyone is gone, then it's just my Honeybee.... myself & our five children & of course Alice & Johnny.

Chaos erupts or rather everything happens at once as Frankie, James, Tony and Amara wake up upset & wailing.... Johnny wakes up freaking the hell out, Alice urgently does his best to get him to calm as Johnny also has a rough bout of morning sickness. Nikki & I clean.... feed, our triplets as well as poor Amara who had an accident. Josephine being a huge help, helping Nikki & I and at last everything calms....

Now Nikki & I are holding our precious angels.... Amara & Josephine with us & quietly & very tearfully, so much so Nikki & I almost don't hear it.... comes the voice of Johnny, being helped by Alice or I should say being held as he & Alice come into the room finding a place to sit.

"H-Hey......I'm.... I'm sorry, I really.... wanted to be here with everyone....and I really don't feel good, so tired & freaking out bad.... I just need to talk."

"Breathe man.... breathe." Nikki says very much concerned. "You're here now & that's what matters, and you were with us by the way." Nikki adds on. Alice is murmuring urgently to Johnny, gently rubbing his back & sides & gradually he calms before Nikki again speaks, "Alice said you'd needed to talk.... Man, I can tell you I know EXACTLY how you feel. I remember with Josephine; it was so scary. I didn't know what was going on, I felt so out of control.... paranoid, scared & I was getting sick. All this was not long after my overdose 'death' & Rehab. After Rehab is when I found out. I was scared, and thought Joe would hate me. I didn't know what to do, I mean too we'd not been back together all that long. I feared I'd turn out like Deana, and because of my past with drugs & all.... i didn't deserve such a pure innocent life......" Nikki breaks down, and without words I take with Alice's help Tony, James, and Frankie & place them in their crib murmuring gently to them that things would be ok....Josephine & Amara watch over them, keeping them calm as I rejoin Nikki, holding him tightly too me as I too keep an eye on my children. "---I never imagined that I would want kids, have them.... But see? Joe changed all that, we were still learning then. I WAS.... Nobody does things perfectly, but we learn, we make mistakes. I couldn't have gotten through the rough spots without Joe, with Josephine, Amara or the triplets. He took care of me, he does.... each & every moment of the day. He did the same with each of my pregnancies. Guess what I am really trying to say is this: you DO deserve the innocent, pure life inside you. You DO deserve happiness & love. And you have a TRUE partner, one willing to do whatever it takes to take care of you & your child. You're not alone in this. It may take time, but things will get better. Morning sickness sucks can't lie.... but won't be forever & in the end its ALL worth it. And for the record, I believe you will be & ARE an amazing parent. It all goes back to you saving Josephine's life, which Joe & I CAN NEVER thank you enough. But you took care of her, kept her safe....and you proved you have a heart. You & Alice got this. Now, get some rest ok? It's no trouble for you guys to stay with us, all you need to do is worried about the baby, ok? And if you need anything, please let us know."

How fucking lucky am I? to be married to Nikki, to raise our children alongside him? It's everything, and my honeybee is so very right. And I am so fucking proud of him, to be HIS, to love him.... your name it.

If you're wondering after Nikki talked to Johnny, it could you see had a huge impact on him. It helped so much & I remember afterwards, Johnny fell asleep (baby was ok) & Alice took him back to their room joining him & I turned to Nikki gently kissing him, saying after...., "You amaze me, each moment of everyday. You've come so far Nikki; I am PROUD of you. To be yours, of the person you've become, who you were, and you are the most AMAZING mother I have ever known, what a mother should be. I love you babe." Nikki cried, I cried & we dried one another's tears sharing another kiss before taking care of our children, just our family being together.

A/N: Part 2 of a summer gathering done. Next will be 2 parts, another Retrospective covering the years 1995-1998, the time up to Nikki & Joe's 10th Anniversary. After that, the first of at least 2 (Likely more) parts are dedicated to their 10th anniversary. There is an end in sight for this book, but it will not be for a bit.