Might as Well Face it, You're Addicted to Love (Joe Perry/Nikki Sixx)

Chapter 175: Barely Time to Breathe Part 3(Aftermath) (Josephine Nicole Perry)

Fractured, broken.... take your pick.... hospital, I am in the hospital AGAIN. I know somewhere way deep down I can't keep doing THIS, but it's not something so easily helped. And how long have I been out THIS time? That dream, fading.... Just left behind is the feeling of being lost and the nightmares linger. Faces quickly come into focus: my parents, my brothers and sisters. Their faces are a mix of relief (relief that I am awake), worry, sorrow.... pride and most of all love. Something has happened, something that I missed again......but I feel something that's been a long time coming. And I see too those ever-present tears and I feel them stream or rush down my face......

"Hey...hey we know.... we know, but honey we are HERE, ok?" Mom. His look so knowing, smoothing back my hair.... kissing my forehead, dad following suit.

"H-How long.... this time?" I croak out, breaking into a coughing fit before I feel soothing ice water going down my throat which helps before I speak again, "—What.... what happened? I-I remember fear....and t-telling...that bitch off...."

My parents hold my hands, dad's face carved in sorrow as he speaks, "You haven't slept in so long and it kills me, kills us.... but you passed out after you said what you did, and I nearly jumped the damn barricade to kill HER myself." Dad growls before softening his tone, "It scared us honey I cant lie. it does, but you've been out for 2wks. They had no choice but to give you something to help you sleep. We've got news for you and your mama & I hate to put this on you, but you need to know." Dad pauses a moment looking to mom and around to all of us, "---It's OVER.... You've got the justice you more than deserve, OUR family does. The harshest possible sentence that evil bitch could be given serving consecutive life sentences, no possibility of parole, she will be isolated and SUFFER. Prison does NOT take kindly to those that harm children, MY children or at least the one she's going to."

I am STUNNED, and I couldn't find words if I tried.... breaking down sobbing feeling myself being held by my parents and my brothers and sisters. Even little Storm, who is thankfully asleep, is holding me in her way.

After I don't know how long I managed to say, looking at my family. "---It doesn't feel real. I just don't know what to say other than thank you and I am sorry for...."

Mom cuts me off gently as possible choking out thru his tears, "---All the trouble? For putting us through this? Honey, you have NOTHING to be sorry for. And it was NO trouble. Not gonna lie, it killed us you are being asleep for so long again, but we've all been with you all along and too I know it feels like you will never get unbroken but one day you will, doesn't matter how long it takes." He pauses a moment, trembling I can feel but I can also feel Dad hold I'm tighter but gently as they manage to share a kiss, no you don't always need words. "----For the record, you're father and I are proud as hell of you and Amara. I know it HURT, to relive everything especially for the world to see. You didn't feel brave, but you both were." Mom continues.

"I gotta say, you Josephine did something that was SO beyond brave. You told HER even though it clearly scared you.... but you told that evil bitch off. Said what you needed to, that took a hell of a lot of guts. Your ma & I nearly jumped over that barricade thing when she'd said what she did to you." Dad says, I think he goes to say more but my brother Tony does.

"Mom and dad weren't the only ones you know."

"I figured as much." I say before adding on, "I don't blame them cause totally I would have done the same."

Amara, Frankie, James, Tony, all telling me basically how bad ass I was and how cool and Amara with that look in her eyes, her expression pure dad. I am not alone; I will NEVER be alone. Still broken and fragmented, like trying to glue a vase back together and I am still TIRED. So TIRED. Family is given updates; I am afraid to go back to sleep. Deep down I know I still need more, but those nightmares and bitter-sweet dreams and just everything is so up in the air and Storm wakes now wailing, needing a diaper change which I swear I try and help but am made to stay in bed, so she gets her diaper changed and makes her rounds with our sisters and brothers before she gets fussy practically demanding in her way, I hold her and so now....i do. Doesn't matter how very TIRED I am, she needs me...I AM needed.

"H-Hey little rainbow, you don't have to fuss, ok?" Storm begins to calm, I am whispering and the tears they come once again and so Storm begins to cry, tears spilling down her little cheeks, "—Shh, I know. I know.... I am sorry to have made you cry, but too its OK. I cry; you cry.... you hurt I hurt, same goes for us all. I've really missed you, gotta lot of cuddling to make up for, don't we?" Storm burrows into my side, refusing to let me go not to blame her. "---Doesn't matter what I am going thru, you need me I am there, I am HERE. I would do the same for mommy, daddy and our brothers and sisters. That's family, remember that." I pause again to collect myself, "Everything is up in the air right now. I hate feeling so LOST, so broken but then I think, I have you, I have you all.... I-I can't keep doing this, I know. It is killing me, but I am TRYING that's all anyone can do...."

The words I just said are true, but it's not ENOUGH. Nothing is right now, I feel like I am failing MISERBLY. I feel like I am dying all over again, but slowly. My parents, my siblings are the only things....no loved ones that are keeping me hanging on in any way it feels. I will get thru this, at last justice has been served......Amara, Amara has struggled just as must as I have, and I haven't felt like I......

Speaking of which, Amara breaks me out of my thoughts......, "Josey STOP." Firmly, tearfully, softly all at once sounding EXACTLY like dad. She is after all his oldest 'twin' as mom always says, "---I know that look. The one that says you feel like you've been selfish, that you haven't been there for me.... for any of us. That's all a bunch-a crap. It doesn't matter what you're going thru, you insist on taking care of everyone.... Everyone comes before YOU do. But Josey? That's just you, that's part of what we all love about you AND you ARE here for me, you have been. I mean, you SAVED my life! Now, I know it scares you, but you need lots of rest. It's MORE THAN ok to take time for yourself. I love you."

That voice, that look.... pure dad. It grounds me for the moment, and I can feel myself give into sleep, and before I give in.... I hear the voices I love so well as one tell me they love me......and I feel Storm carefully taken from me, and I know very much so she is OK....

A/N: At last justice for Josephine and the Perry family. tender moments and so much more here. More to come soon!