Might as Well Face it, You're Addicted to Love (Joe Perry/Nikki Sixx)

Chapter 155: A Sudden Storm Part 4 (Josephine Nicole Perry)

It's been one hell of day, something I've heard from my parents the day before. I was SO scared, still am thinking that mom.... thinking that he, I can't EVEN think the words but it's NOT my fault, and mom was/IS right. And none of my fears....my near panic attack matters at this moment, what DOES is the beautiful precious STORM being placed now in my arms by Dad, he & mom both look SO proud & my brothers & Sisters gather round' and the tears, those ever-flowing beautiful tears....

I am officially holding my new sister; she looks just like James.... like both of our parents & the proof that I helped bring a life into this world....is in my arms. She is beautiful, her little eyes find mine.... she fusses & at last I find my voice saying:

"Hi Storm.... I'm your sister, your oldest sister....my name is Josephine, you can call me 'Josey'. I helped you be born, ya know something. You came into our lives, like a sudden storm but you are NO less beautiful...storms bring rainbows & you are mom & Dad's Rainbow baby. See, they sadly lost a brother or sister before you...and I know they are with us even now. But we have the most.... AMAZING parents, and you will NEVER BE alone...always, always you're surrounded by love.... never forget that. And see? I got to name you, So I chose to name you Storm...Storm Bianca Perry...." I pause as Storm makes happy noises now having calmed completely. "—Its perfect, just like you....and remember when you love someone you love ALL parts of them cause that's love.... that's family." I find myself rocking her, going by instinct & I've seen mom do this often with my brothers & sisters, so I think I've got this....

"Oh man.... Josephine, how'd you get to be SO wise beyond your years? I mean that was BEAUTIFUL, just like YOU." Dad.

"It's because of you.... because of mom..." I whisper, but I KNOW my parents hear me...they always do, they always will......I hold Storm for a bit, her falling asleep in my arms....then my sisters & brothers hold her, telling Storm all about mom, dad and especially ME......Eventually Storm is placed lovingly in her bassinet, and I can tell mom is SO exhausted & trying so hard to stay awake.....'

Frankie, Amara, Tony, James, and I watch our parents share the tenderest moment.... I feel happy when I see them like this, how they always are with one another, how can I not? But I don't have that hope for myself, I know I'm still so young...but I don't KNOW or understand what people see in me. I TRY to, but so far all I am an object....my thighs are huge, so are my breasts.... I just feel SO insecure and most of all. I don't TRUST people I don't know, my gut tells me WHY.

My parents, they KNOW that I've been harassed at school.... sexually, that got stopped for a time, still though comments would persist.... but then there's the bullying, oh I can hold my own...but such CRUEL things are hurled at me, I get called names....and it hurts. Mom & Dad don't know the true extent, they don't push me.... but I know they are worried. Anyway, BREATHE Josephine.... right here & NOW that shit don't matter....

"Nikki.... I know baby, you wanna stay awake and not miss anything & as much as it scares me for you to sleep. Well its what you need babe, and I KNOW you will find your way back to me. I love you Honeybee, SO much." Dad whispers, caressing mom's face & he catches my eyes...his own filling with worry, his gaze knowing & then he whispers something to mom who nods & I KNOW it's about me.

Dad kisses mom, and mom he drifts off to sleep & I drop my gaze suddenly feeling SO lost & HURT & not just because of mom....

OF ALL TIMES, NOW......now.... things are getting to me, there's mom.....what happened, Storm's birth & all the bullying, which I fight back but...well if that's not enough, I had a nightmare about Dad's ex-wife Elyssa....i don't remember anything other than it SCARED me, still does.....

I hear the voices of my siblings, those much-loved voices.... i feel their hugs, trying SO hard to comfort me & most of all right at THIS moment, I feel dad...and I sob, holding on to him for dear life.

"Honey...oh Josephine something IS wrong. I know its more than your ma, and I have the feeling it has to do with what you've been thru at school. And you are afraid to tell US the true extent that if we knew.... Josephine, NOTHING could make us love you less. But I know how hard it is.... There IS ALSO something else, I get the feeling you're not telling me. Remember, what your ma & I have always told you: tell us what's on your mind, it doesn't matter if it hurts us. And you are not & will never be alone in this.... I...." Dad pauses, gently trying to get me to look at him & finally I do, "---Right now, I need you to breathe, ok? Listen to me.... focus on me, you're having a panic attack sweetheart...breathe...." I close my eyes, holding on to him still and after what feels like forever, I calm & I feel dad wrap me in a hug, refusing to let me go as I cry silently.

"Its.... its.... just.... you're RIGHT, I fight back.... but STILL get knocked down for my efforts. It's getting to me; they say such CRUEL things.... the comments, the like sexual ones stopped for a time.... but then started up again at school. But its...like 'she's here not because she's smart, but because she's a whore just like her mother.' Or she's such a NERD, a nerd with the body of a Venus,' they only want something from me, my gut tells me I can't trust anyone at school. I've tried so hard....so damn hard to make friends Daddy, I don't brag, i just try to be ME......and there IS something else, I started having nightmares again....maybe it's the stress....but dad, if I tell you....it, I mean it scares me....i don't remember anything from them, but fear....and being scared....." I stammer my way through.

"Josephine.... we're gonna get that shit to stop, and there's only so much one can take before it breaks them. And that's why, well you could do it from home again or...well, from what your teacher's said, you could test out & graduate early, I mean you are anyway. And to hell with those that say those things to you, NONE of which are true, I hope someone has mercy on them cause I WILL NOT nor your ma....and Josephine....as for the nightmares...." Dad's tone is a mix of fury, worry, concern and most of all love. "I am gonna come in there, and they ain't gonna like it...." Dad pauses again, "---I can see in your eyes you're not ready to tell me. I wont push you, just know that it will be ok. You can tell me anytime, and it doesn't matter how much it hurts me honey. I am proud of you, so proud of you remember that." .......

-Joe Perry POV-

Josephine DID open more about what went on at school and believe me.... Nikki & I put a stop to that shit once and for all & we also found out just HOW far it went. And of course, we gave those responsible HELL. We also made good on our promises of Josephine not having to go back to school in person at least & she would wind up testing our & graduating from school early....at such a young age. So proud, but it's really what she needed. All this would occur from Storm's birthdate through October 2003 roughly. And those nightmares of Josephine's, well we wouldn't find out just WHO they were about until that evil, evil bitch of an ex nearly took everything I held dear, that Nikki and I did from us. However, things are coming up that fucking HURT...and still haunt Nikki & I to this day...

What I will leave you with is: Nikki's recovery went well...Storm was healthy & roughly a week or so after she was born, both my beloved Honeybee & Storm were cleared to go home.... We didn't fly home; we took a private bus, where we'd come home to find the most beautiful nursery, a clean house....to this day, I can't ever thank Tommy Lee enough. And of course, the tour for Aerosmith was cancelled....and it turns out that it was for more than Storm's sudden birth as you've gotten a taste of here....

A/N: The seeds are sown for what's to come, sweet moments, and more. Stay tuned for more!