Might as Well Face it, You're Addicted to Love (Joe Perry/Nikki Sixx)

Chapter 188: These Are the Days of Our Lives (My hearts on Tour)

Time passes us by....it stands still, and there are those moments that last forever. Time passed by after Josephine & Hunter's first official date, which it was such a magical thing to see. I Remember that first date, her coming in... her eyes just like her mother's glowing, the blush on her face.... that breathless look, that look of pure happiness. I was so proud of her, happy to see her happy.... god knows she deserved it. Nikki and I both felt that way, still do. But ah yeah, the time thing....in the days, weeks and months after that January night came rehearsals for Mӧtley's tour, which also meant rehearsals for Josephine since she was of course Alice's lead guitarist.... there were band meetings & promotional things for Aerosmith's 35th anniversary such as a greatest hits compilation box set (Huge Fucking hit by the way). In other words, things got busy....and yet not. So, we lived, we worked....my family, we were truly THRIVING all of us. Josephine & Hunter, like Nikki and i...learned to or knew to keep family...and each other first, those were the most important things. And then Nikki & I are celebrating our 17th wedding anniversary on May 10, 2005. It was fucking amazing, how far we'd come....what we'd been thru & our love grew ever stronger.....and so there was moments like that....spending time with my husband and children and then came the tour....Not gonna lie, i missed Nikki & Josephine fiercely....we all did at home...but as always we were never truly apart.....and well here you will see....

These Days of our lives, my oldest daughter and husband on tour.... both killing it, us exchanging letters written, texts, calls.... etc. still I miss them fiercely, I miss holding Nikki in my arms, but I hold him in my heart always and I even wear his band T-shirts to FEEL him. Nikki and I decided of course that I'd stay home with the kids and Mӧtley would take breaks in the tour, which all members agreed upon & Nikki will be home in time for Storm's 2nd birthday. Now, its June 19 & my beloved & our oldest daughter have been on tour for weeks....so right now, it's me with my youngest: Amara, Tony, James, Frankie & Little Storm fixing dinner & talking......of course about the ones we miss the most....

"I told Josephine & momma we've been practicing Queen Songs." James says. "—It's really gonna happen huh?" James adds, referring to Queen Tribute Concert in London planned for October. I note the nerves in his tone.

But before I can say anything, my oldest 'Twin' Amara does tell her brother, "—You know they are so proud of you, we all are....it means so much to Josey & Hunter that we're doing this. And for the record? You sound amazing, you and & Frankie both....and I hear you; it IS really gonna happen. Not gonna lie, it makes ME nervous, yeah, I rocked it with our sister in front of a crowd of hundreds & millions at home...this, Wembley is like sacred ground in the rock world." We all listen to her spell bound & I can't help but be proud of her, truly Nikki & I have taught her and her siblings well. "---That being said, there is NO better high than being there on stage. All that background noise disappears, but we all need to remember that we're gonna be on stage TOGETHER. We got this, and like our parents have always said, 'Music makes you FEEL, take all your feelings.... the nerves & use that.'"

James says awed, "You're right.... i feel a lot better now."

I clear my throat softly, "That was very well said Amara. And I've heard you guys playing, God, it blows me away how talented you all are. It's more than just technical ability which is better than musicians 3 times or more your age. All of you were made for this, ignore those morons who tell you can't be as good as you are at such young ages. They don't know what the hell they are talking about, people have called your ma & I crazy to say the least letting you guys do this, but we as your ma says give the world the middle finger & do it anyway. We couldn't keep any of you from a stage if we DID try."

Frankie, my husband's other twin grins and I see him so much in her, "See? This is like one of the many, many reasons you're awesome dad!"

We all chuckle & before long dinner is fixed & served which is a popular Perry family favorite: Garlic Chicken with Cucumber salad, drizzled with Balsamic & Roasted artichokes.

I miss Nikki & my oldest daughter SO much, but still right now I feel them with me & I know no matter what my hearts will come back to me....

"Ma says that Uncle Tommy wont shut up about Frankie, bragging that she's one of his 'terror' disciples." Tony says, amused as we eat dinner....me feeding Storm.

I laugh, "He told me.... he also told me he she's only a third 'terror' disciple considering that she also was taught by a former Guns member & Aerosmith's own Joey Kramer." I pause a moment, "Still it got so well TOMMY that your ma pranked Tommy dying his hair orange. Lucky him it washed out...." I feel a rush of pride saying that for Nikki, I am unable to help myself.

"Oooh funny! Ma-ma funny!" Storm giggles wildly, already messy even with my helping her, but I love those messes. We all laugh, sharing funny stories & dinner is soon enough consumed, leftovers stored.... kitchen cleaned & its time to get Storm ready for bed.... the kids opt to watch TV, while I take my precious little Rainbow miracle upstairs for her bath, and she alarms me when she starts wailing at first, but I KNOW why....

"Shh, I know sweet rainbow.... I know, you miss mommy helping you with your bath, you miss him.... but I swear no lie, he's thinking of you right now." I soothe her, my heart breaks though because God do I hate to see any of my children cry.

"Da-ddy.... daddy...."

"Honey, believe me.... I know it hurts, and I know too you miss Josephine. I feel the same way, but remember that mommy he is always, always with us.... He misses us just as much as we miss him. Same goes for your sister....and, they are coming back to us, they always will. Sides, mommy will be home in time for your birthday." Here I smile albeit tearfully, "You're gonna be 2 honeys. Its very special, you are.... You are a miracle. In fact, Daddy has a story for you for bedtime."

If you so happen to have been wondering yes, somewhere at many points thru out the day Nikki called to check on the kids, to talk to them and he did talk to them before they went to bed, as did Josephine and of course my husband would call me after the show......

Storm calms, as I gather her favorite bubble bath....an adorable baby sized bathrobe, her favorite night gown & Bee-Bee (Josephine gave it to Storm). I bathe Storm, her chattering away about Nikki.... about everything & soon she is clean & ready for bed & I sit down in the rocking chair in her room as she burrows into my chest, her little head resting there and so I tell her.... the story of HER.

"Storm, you know why we call you our sweet Rainbow?" Quietly.

"Why daddy?"

"See, before you were born.... mommy & I had lost a brother or sister....it really hurt.... but almost 2 years ago, we got a miracle. We didn't know mommy had gotten pregnant with you.... we didn't know until you were born. It was so scary how it happened, but you wanna know something special?" Storm looks up at me, eyes wide. "Your oldest sister is the one who brought you into this world..." I start crying, "—She saved your ma's life, she saved YOU. And Josephine is the one that named you Storm. Cause, she told your mommy & I that.... Storms can be sudden, scary.... but they bring Rainbows, such beautiful rainbows....so beautiful."

"I pecial' rainbow daddy....an' Josey is mazin' an' I wuv her an' mommy' and ew lots. Ew pecial' too daddy."

"Oh princess...." I whisper, rocking her.

I rock her to sleep & place her carefully in her toddler bed.... kissing her forehead whispering, "Daddy loves you so much sweet rainbow.... always, always with you. You're a gift, a beyond beautiful gift. All my children are, remember that."

I remember lingering watching over her that night.... before joining Amara, Frankie, Tony and James downstairs & of course we felt very much so that Nikki & Josephine were right there with us....and where you will find me is later the same night, talking with my beloved honeybee....my everything: Nikki.

A/N: A chapter full of heart, emotion and so much more. More to come soon!