Might as Well Face it, You're Addicted to Love (Joe Perry/Nikki Sixx)

Chapter 154: A Sudden Storm Part 3(Nikki-Perry Sixx)

I didn't know.... didn't KNOW what happened for a while on that beautiful, fate-full.... you name it... date of July 6, 2003. All I CAN remember is PAIN, that wet.... scary sensation of blood in my pants and being scared shitless that I was having ANOHTER miscarriage, I can't BELIEVE once I came to that I found out my youngest daughter: Storm was in fact NOT a miscarriage, which thank GOD. I didn't know though.... didn't know, that Josephine delivered her.... that my oldest by some miracle got me to listen just ENOUGH. I didn't know either that I'd sleep for a few days after.... having nightmares & what I THOUGHT WERE the most bitter-sweet & beautiful of dreams. I guess the ultimate point here is thanks to my eldest Angel of a daughter, Josephine, whose quick thinking & actions saved my life that day & her youngest little sister. And when did I come at last? Well as Joe often says, 'You'll See....'

Beeping noises......the murmur of voices I KNOW.... worried voices....... not knowing where I am.... or why I am.... WAIT?! Hospital.... oh god, I lost....NO...NO! I wasn't supposed to lose another baby! I.... a sudden sound or sounds: JOE'S voice & the cries of a baby.... wait baby?!!!! Oh, I didn't.... i didn't....

"NIKKI.... NIKKI.... its.... its ok.... i know it doesn't FEEL like it.... but it will be baby..." Joe's voice cracks, "---We didn't know, but that don't matter.... what DOES is the precious little MIRACLE in my arms, baby.... we have another baby...." I finally open my eyes, vision blurred at first to SEE....

"Oh my god..." I laugh & cry both, a hand over my mouth in shock as I look upon the wailing & beautiful.... absolutely beautiful PINK...WOW.... PINK bundle in my husband's arms, arms that now are gently helping me.... helping HER get settled against my chest, feeling my warmth. My mind is reeling.... but NOW in an instant, SHE calms....

Oh.... OH......this moment, I will NEVER forget. She is stunning.... she looks so much like James, that is to say...that perfect, perfect blend of Joe and I, out eye color.... just, wow.... simply beautiful. And she KNOWS me, KNOWS JOE & I! I mean how could she not? But.... what happened? I don't remember.... just pain...and.... We'll all THAT shit doesn't matter, what DOES my newborn daughter and now I feel a hand I know SO well gently join mine in stroking back my little miracle's hair: JOE.

"I see it in your eyes...." Joe begins & carefully my eyes find his before shifting back to our daughter's. "----She is perfect, she is OUR miracle...our rainbow baby and as for what happened? OH NIKKI.... I.... I...." Joe sobs glancing (I can feel it more than see) at Josephine & I feel my eyes widen in shock....in tears as things start to click ever so slightly....

"It WAS you......I knew...I mean......wow...." I murmur, shocked.... touched.... trying to find WORDS. It takes some moments, the little girl in my arms COOS.... Letting me know it's gonna be OK. I take a careful breathful of air, "----Josephine, you...."

"I...I...thought, oh MOMMA.... I was SO scared.... but I followed you...." Josephine stammers, voice choked. "I KNEW something was wrong, I figured....out you WERENT having a miscarriage, so I did what I had too. I got you to listen, just enough.... got Uncle Mick to get Dad, and help...but by the time dad came, you were...I thought you, that i.... killed you...." She practically whispers, dropping her gaze. "And I had a new sister.... A BABY in my arms.... there was...." Quickly she is heading into panic attack territory. And I hold her with my WORDS, MY HEART despite my OWN fears of all of what my family is and has been through. I am aware of her being tackled practically by her younger sisters & brothers to help her.

Oh, my sweet girl.... i KNOW, I KNOW.... but NOTHING is your fault, if anything I KNOW in my heart that you saved my life, saved your littlest sisters....so THANK YOU. Still the pain is there, but you are NOT alone.... never fucking will be. I've got you; WE'VE got you. You are so brave Josephine....so SPECIAL, I can't even begin to thank you.... begin to truly express just how AMAZING you are, but I sure the hell am gonna try....

"H-Hey.... LOOK AT ME...." Gently as I can, firmly.... emotionally as at last carefully my oldest daughter does look at me..., "---ITS NOT your fault, NOTHING is....and I know better than anyone how that feels, so does your father. We've got each other, I've got YOU. Honey, I know how traumatic it was & is.... the blood, my possible death.... but you did it anyway & I know in my heart, and I am sure you're father agrees with me.... Josephine you, I have no doubt saved my life, saved your little sister's life. I can't BEGIN to thank you or tell you what that means to me...." The baby girl in my arms, COOS giving me strength & reminding me just HOW precious she is, how worth it this all is. "---The pain will always be there, but you are not and will never be alone Josephine, remember that. and I can't begin to express properly just how much I love you, how amazing you are...HOW SPECIAL. It will take time, but you'll see one day I get that feeling."

"Very well said.... honeybee...." Joe chokes out and there is a note in his voice that makes my eyes widen & even more tears to follow ESPECIALLY once he says, "---Nikki, babe I gotta tell you our rainbow baby has the most beautiful name & I thought knowing in my heart & soul you'd agree that JOSEPHINE should name her & she did. And it's PERFECT."

"I KNOW it is..." Softly, "That's a- amazing." I add on meaning to say more when a MUCH (thank God) calmer Josephine speaks...

"This was a sudden storm in your life, in our lives.... but this Storm brought you & dad a rainbow, your rainbow baby. A sudden but no less beautiful STORM. So...I...I...named her Storm. Her middle name in Italian means 'innocence' & 'Beauty' so Bianca. Her full name is Storm Bianca Perry."

"Joe you were right....so right...." I whisper, and he HEARS ME. "---And Josephine? It's perfect, you did amazing, sweet bee. Thank you honey, just THANK YOU." I catch my husband's gaze, and he nods smiling tearfully just like the rest of our family. "So..." I can clear my throat. "I think it only right, that Josephine you hold Storm first."

"B-But...Mom.... I....... i mean.... Tony, James.... Frankie.... Amara...." She stammers protesting.

"Oh, trust me, we're gonna hold her..." Tony speaks up, shooting his oldest sister a proud, yet tearful grin, "but YOU Josey, hold her FIRST. Momma's right & I bet Dad would agree too. And besides, you got this, ok?" The look, the tone.... all of it pure Joe, his other twin after all......

My six children...six....my greatest gifts, my greatest legacy and now my grandchildren. To this day, I must pinch myself at times.... but its real, SO real. Anyway, Josephine would indeed be the one to hold her youngest sister Storm first & GOD Josephine talking to her youngest sister? Her words.... oh man, if you haven't done it yet, stock up on those fucking tissues (trust me). Looking back now at this moment in time to then, it was the calm before the true storm....the storm that would come just before my oldest daughter's 15th birthday and we had no clue...and then we VERY nearly, AND I DO MEAN nearly lost Josephine but she did it to SAVE her sister, to save Joe and because she would one day tell us, "---I HAD TO, no one hurts the ones I love and gets away with it. I'd die for you, for those I love and if I could.... i would always choose to, over & over again."

So, 2003 to 2004 roughly and in so short a time, was heaven....it was bitter-sweet, it was pure HELL.

"Storm's birth was a huge shock, a huge adjustment.... Josephine had nightmares of her birth..." Joe sighs heavily, looking to me lost & desperate, my heart fucking breaks from that and from the memories of November 2003. "But we got thru it, she did....she'd been thru so much and then....all she WANTED was to hang out with her friends, she didn't have any at school...I always worried about her, still do....but all she wanted the day before her birthday was to hang out, she begged....not that she had to very hard. They went ahead and let her get her permit, since she literally was turning 15 the next day.... god, I was so proud....so proud, but Elyssa was in the shadows....and then we SAW on fucking news....and I can never forget.... THE PAIN. Still, I was proud.... she did it, for her sister...for US...but Nikki.... it's like for a time; our light was gone, and she tried...fought like hell & in the end she came back to us."

"We were angry....to this day I we still are, at what that evil bitch did to our family. what she planned to do.... She nearly took everything from us. I'd worried not hearing from her.... that day, but I remember she'd told me that day, 'Mom, I love you....and tomorrow I wanna go driving...I...." I sob, burying myself even further into Joe's embrace as we hold on to one another desperately......trying to calm and where you next find us....is Josephine's beautiful time with her youngest sister: Storm.

A/N: Nikki's POV on events and a taste of things to come. More to come soon my friends!