Might as Well Face it, You're Addicted to Love (Joe Perry/Nikki Sixx)

Chapter 167: Awake at Last Part 1 (Josephine Nicole Perry)

I FEEL.... I feel HEAVY.... PAIN......exhausted as if I've been asleep for a long time. I don't know what's going on...what happened? And it SCARES ME AND suddenly or slowly, honestly not sure which.... I HEAR: beeping noises, muffled voices.... voices I KNOW and those voices make me FEEL. I feel scared but safe, and LOVE...such LOVE mixed with the edge of pain.... the voices grow urgent, hopeful and I follow them & again suddenly it hits me like a freight train......and images flash before me: Dad's Ex-Wife cornering my sister, MY sister.... fear, determination, the feeling of SAVING her...Amara. And running, running.... getting her to the ground, gun shots.... blood, I see my blood...EVERYWHERE. I See my sister holding me, I see my parents sink to the ground in agony, and I realize they are ALIVE....

Your family, Josephine.... your family is HERE...they are always, open your eyes.... open them, now I feel...the combined hands, hands I know SO well and those voices of my parents....

"Come on sweetheart.... come on.... PLEASE.... please listen to the sound of my voice, open those eyes.... we've got you honey; we've got you." Dad.

"Oh honey.... please, please let this not be a dream. We've missed you, so much...so much. We love you, all of us are HERE. You've been fighting like hell, and we are PROUD of you. You saved your sister's life, your father's.... ALL OF US. Open those eyes, I believe in you.... honey...." Mom.

This isn't easy, I follow their voices....and I struggle, I hear too the voices of my brothers, my sisters...you can do this Josephine, you can. What's to come won't be easy, but you are NOT alone...you are NEVER alone. Slowly now, my eyes so heavy.... everything is SO blurry. Focus...Focus....and then after what feels like forever, I find my vision clearing and I SEE:

"D-Dad....M-Mom.... Bro......sis?" How LONG has it been?! My voice sounds as if I hadn't used it in quite a while. And I get the feeling I wont LIKE what I hear.... but my parents, I see my parents who look RELIEVED, shocked, a whole mix of emotions. They look like they've been thru hell.... but I see such LOVE in their gazes. My parents: Joe Perry & Nikki Perry-Sixx.... What did I MISS?!!! And I am starting to freak out......

I feel two sets of arms, arms that I know so well hold me tightly yet carefully trying to calm me down. Both arms tattooed, one set covered completely......these hurts.... I hurt.... but not alone, not alone....

"O-Oh.... honey......we know you...you're scared....so many things going thru your head, like how long it's been, what you've missed and how it's been hell without you...and how very much it all hurts. What MATTERS right now Josephine is you need to BREATHE. I know it hurts, but we are HERE. Your ma, myself.... Your brothers & Sisters. Listen honey.... listen to my voice, know that we got you. God, do we have you..." Dad's voice despite being very much choked from tears & is soothing. He is right.... He is right, but it's SO hard.

"Honey.... i know.... all too well how you're feeling. And it hurts like hell, it will but too what matters is you are HERE, AWAKE.... alive. It's a miracle.... YOU are, you are special.... you saved your sisters life.... you saved your father's.... you protected US...." Mom, he practically whispers but I hear him. I hear THEM.... gradually I begin to calm, hearing the murmur of the voices of my brothers & sisters now coming thru, and I look around....and see an ocean of tears, hear them and I see how very much I've been missed.

I would do what I did repeatedly.... worth it for that, more than. But this is SO hard, it HURTS, and it will hurt more. I HATE though that they've been through this & I've missed out on it so much. W-What day is it?! My birthday.... I was.... oh NO...NO.... quickly beginning to panic AGAIN & still my parents....my family doesn't let go....

"Josephine BREATHE.... please...." Dad pleads & soothes me both, "---If I had hazarded a guess, you HATE putting us thru this and you hate feeling like you've missed out on so much. But LISTEN TO ME sweet bee.... i...WE need you to know, that you are a HERO, OUR hero. You stood.... up to that evil BITCH, you defended me.... protected me, protected your ma & saved your sisters life. That is what matters, you don't know how much it means to the US to me. It will take time, but you will get there. And all of us, will be right with you.... you keep fighting, hell you have been & so will we." I close my eyes, breathing in and out...gradually I calm buy get agitated with nurses come in, I still hate strangers, but both my hands are held, I am not alone...finally its over & done with & I must ask the dreaded question or questions after drinking lots of cold water which soothes my throat.

Its hard to talk a lot right now.... but I manage to get out, "---How LONG Have I been a-asleep?" Dad's face falls, clouding in sorrow and mom's face, his does the same. Oh NO....But my parents always tell us to be honest no matter how much it hurts...

Mom takes a deep shuddery breath, choking out in a sob. "---Its December 14, 2003. You've been....in a coma for a month. Sweetheart.... oh sweetheart, this.... This wasn't how this was supposed to go. I HATED that, that evil bitch made you miss your birthday, you...you were so excited and then Thanksgiving.... your birthday and it hurts like hell...." He breaks down & my eyes widen in shock, as I feel my brothers & Sisters hold my other hand.... vaguely aware I don't hear Storm, but I feel she is ok.... but in any case, Dad does his best to comfort mom AND pick up where mom was trying to go, I think......

"---I believe what your ma was gonna say is this: I know it hurts like hell, feeling guilty you've put us thru this when you have NOTHING to feel guilty over, and missed out on so much.... but Josephine, you were at the center of it ALL. Always, always on our minds and our hearts. We've missed you so damn bad and I can't lie, it's been like missing a part of us all. But too, your ma & I, we need you to know.... you are A hero, a fighter. You saved my life, your sister's. You protected us...." Dad pauses features becoming very much pained, "---We were there, I don't know how.... you found the strength to run as fast as you did, but you were shot...first in the arm, jerking but still you kept going and got Amara to safety but then.... then, you were shot AGAIN..." His voice cracks badly, "—From behind, and you FELL.... And we screamed.... just screamed, Amara went back for you, to try and help despite the risk to herself. But.... blood, was everywhere....it wouldn't stop, your sister tried....to stop it. She was with you, your ma & I felt helpless...and they couldn't find your pulse...but still you kept going somehow...."

I can SEE it, FEEL it...the pain, the sorrow....and I am alive, alive....in pain, physically and mentally.... but it was worth it, because my sister is alive. No ONE hurts my sister or my family...they are alive.... still this hurts, but I need to hear it and there is SO much more to come....

A/N: Part 1 done, there will be at least 2 more parts. But Josephine is at last awake & the next part may also be her POV.