His Love Healed My Heart

Chapter 1

INSERT 1
TUESDAY

KHANYISILE

You know I always use to say “When life serves you lemons, just make lemonade.”  I live by that saying, I did that a lot of time, but there are times that the lemonade still tastes sour as hell.  I had to taste a lot of lemons during my previous marriage. I suffered a lot of emotional abuse, which led to me losing myself in the marriage, losing my self esteem and not knowing who I am.  I was never able to take my own advice, advice that I would give to other people and it would work for them, but me, no I just had to be  and tell myself all will be well in time, only I didn’t realise I was drowning myself, killing myself and my kids, slowly digging our graves by believing that he’ll change.  6 years I had to put up with it and endure it.
As I walk out of the gym, I notice someone standing next to my car, in fact he’s leaning on my car.  I hate it when people do that, it’s disrespectful, he doesn’t know me like that.  I’m pissed off. “Calm down Khanyi, you don’t have to shoot him.” I say to myself.  I press my keys to unlock the car hoping that he’ll move and he does, he’s also busy on a call and he opens the car parked next to mine and gets in but he lives the door slightly ajar and I’m thinking that this guy was just sent to test me.  I’m inside my car and I want to pull out but I can’t he’s door is still open.  I open the passenger side window to talk to him but he is still on the phone, so I honk my hooter and he looks at me and I just point to the door. He just smiles and closes his door and I drive off.  You know this guy’s car is exactly the same as my other car even the interior, I didn’t look at the registration number now my mind is running wild, I make a call to Eddie:

Eddie:  Lady K, are you ok?
Me:  Eddie check if my Mustang is still there ( I know I’m being paranoid right now, but hey)
Eddie:  it’s here, I used it to take the kids to school, it was the car of the day that they chose.  Why, what’s going on?
Me:  Someone at the gym has the same car, it’s exactly like mine, even the interior, just everything.
Eddie: Oh I see. (and he laughs)
I drop the call as I’m almost home.  I don’t understand why he is laughing, he would have reacted the same way.  As I drive in my mood changes from 80 to 0 as I see the other car parked in my driveway, definitely not someone I’m interested in seeing.  Why was he allowed to come in. I need to speak to Eddie about this.  I sit in my car and take deep and brace myself for what I’m about to deal with right now.  I really don’t need drama right now. I can’t see Eddie out here, maybe he’s inside, I walk slowly towards the door, before I open I take another deep breath and walk in.  Why do I feel like this, this is my house for crying out loud, I can kick him out, I don’t have to deal with him and he interrupts my train of thoughts:
Him:  Hi
Me:  Mmmm
Him:  How are you?  I’ve been waiting for you
Me:  I can see that, what do you want?
Him:  I would like to see the kids
Me:  Do you know day it is today?
Him:  Yes it’s Tuesday
Me:  Why would they be home at this time?  I know you don’t drink so whatever it is that you are smoking, stop it, it’s making you confused.  My son is at work and my daughter is a varsity student who stays at school. I don’t understand why you would think they are home in the middle of the week.  So why don’t you tell me why you are really here, you know what don’t bother.  The kids will see you when they want to see you, it is their decision and you know this.  Please leave.  Eddie just came out of nowhere and he escorts him out.
As I walk up the stairs to my room “ Baby daddy no scratch that, sperm donor drama early in the morning shit, I should just kill him.”  I mumble to myself
INSERT 2

Khanyi

4:30 AM

I’m on my way to gym, and Andile is just not happy that I’m driving myself to gym at this hour but I assured him that I’ll be fine.  It’s always nice to drive myself, I enjoy it.  It gives me time to think and just clear my head.  Tomorrow I have a few presentations that I need sit through.  I hate sitting in the boardroom and listen to these presentations but I have it's what the job demands.  Ok, some of them are good, some are just take chances, I simply just get bored.  My son wanted to extend the music  studio and for what he wants we have to build  a completely new building for that.  Come to think of I won’t be able to sit in in that meeting, he’ll have to do this on his own, I have another meeting exactly at the same as his and I  can’t cancel.  Maybe I should ask his uncle if he can attend the meeting on my behalf.  I’m so great full for my brother, he has been great the past four year, he has been there for me and supported me through it all.

……………………………………………..FLASHBACK………………………………………………..
Lungelo:  Khanyi are you ok?
Me:  Not really, just have a headache.
Lungelo:  You’ve had this headache for days now, are you stressing about something
Me:  (Tears just fell) It’s just that I’m so used to taking care of myself and now I’m adding more burden on you.
Lungelo:  Hey you’ll never be a burden to me, everything will be fine, everything will work out just fine you’ll see.  I know you are used to taking care of yourself and the kids but right now why don’t you let me take care of you and the kids are alright, the parents are taking good care of them, just relax, you’ll be ok.  Stop crying now.
……………………………………………………………………END OF FLASH BACK………………………………………………………

Taking care of me was what he did and making sure that I had everything I needed.  It’s been a difficult journey, it still is but not as much. I park my car and walk into the gym, it’s packed, this is why I don’t like coming in the early hours of the morning.  I walk straight up to my personal trainer, I need him today, so that I can be out of here by 06;00.
Me:  Morning Thabiso
Him:  Morning Khanyi, how many times must I tell you to call me T-Boz
Me:  How many times must I tell to get used to me calling you by your actual name.  ( He just smiles and goes through all the exercises we’ll  be doing in this hour.)
As we were busy, I notice someone that I was hoping not to see, I think he was with his friend or something, he looks my way and sees me and I just look away and focus on Thabiso.   I finish with Thabiso and get my things, it’s 6:15, I still have enough time to get home, shower, take the kids to school and get to work.  Today is going to be a hectic day. This week has just been hectic , and I’m starting to feel it.  I can’t wait for weekend I just need to relax, read a book and have some wine. I say my goodbyes to Thabiso and walk to my car, Oh God why have you forsaken, why is he standing next to my car.  He is driving a Mustang the one I saw him in yesterday, he is just standing there looking and the cars and he looks likes he is in deep thoughts.  I press my key to unlock my car and that snaps him out of his thoughts, he looks at me, I greet and just get into my car and drive off leaving him standing there.
As soon as I get home, I take a shower get dressed and get breakfast ready for the kids.  As they walk to the kitchen the elder brother comes in too.  I swear this child never eats at his place, he works, he has a good salary still gets an allowance he can afford to buy his own groceries but no, he has to come to my house and finish my food.
Khaya:  Morning fam
Me:  Morning Son
Ntando (Little brother):  Hey big bro, how are you?  Don’t you have food at your house?  (My question exactly)
Lonwabo (little brother 2):  He only buys food when we visit. Maybe he should get a girlfriend
Khaya:  and who says I don’t have one
Lonwabo:  oh please don’t tell about that Barbie doll who’s always afraid that she’ll break a nail
Lwanele (Little Sister):  it’s true Khaya
They all just laugh and continue having breakfast after which we leave

I walk into the building and head straight for elevator, greeting the receptionist. You know every  time I walk into this office it never seizes to amaze me how far I’ve come, just when I was ready to give up, just when I thought I was ready to let go and succumb to the words that kept ringing in my head “ Your dreams will never  become reality.”  I’m glad I never listened, I’m glad I never gave up.  My PA interrupts my train of thoughts.
Ibanathi:  Lady K
Me:  He calls me lady K.  Morning  Nathi, how are you?
Ibanathi:  I am fabulous.  Here’s your cup of hot water and you have 30 minutes before your first meeting with QM Architecture.  You will be dealing with Mr Qhawelomzi Mthimkhulu.  He is the one that will be doing the presentation for the new building. After that you have SABC, that will probably take through to lunch time and after lunch you have 3 more  meetings, the presentations that you’ve been working on.
Me:  Thanks Nathi.  Is my son here, the QM project is his baby and his uncle will be in that meeting on my behalf.  You double booked me today remember
Nathi:  Oh yes, I’m sorry about that lady K, it won’t happen again and your son is on his way he should be here by now.
Me:  Thanks Nathi.  I need you to get me some blueberry muffins and I need an energy drink this is going to be a very long day. Oh and Nathi…. My son walks in interrupting us
Khaya:  All sorted Nathi. What’s up man he says shaking Nathi’s hand and he walks up to me kisses me on the cheek.  How are you mom?
Me:  I’m good my son and you
Khaya:  I’m good.   Are you ready to do  this
Me:  it’s now or never.   Thanks for the muffins my munchkin
Khaya:  Mom please, how many times must I tell you not to call me that.
Me:  How many times must I tell you to get used to it.
Nathi:  ok guys it’s time to go.  He walks out first laughing his lungs out followed by my sulking son.
And we go our separate ways to different boardrooms.

KHAYA

I really wanted my mom to be in this meeting but it’s fine, she can always look at the presentation later.  I’m glad she asked my uncle to stand in for her.  I really admire that woman, the things that she has been through, the shit I’ve put her through and not once did she ever give up on me.   She was always there for me, no matter what I did wrong she was always there.  And the day I decided to clean up my act and start being responsible, I could see how proud she was, I still see it today.  Every time she tells me how proud she of me, I always see it in her eyes.  Over the years I’ve learned that my mom can never hide how she feels, even if she tries but her eyes will always give her away.  She loves us so much, everyone can see that and what I love the most about how she is raising us, she always makes sure that everything she does for us, we have to earn it especially when it comes to money and other material things, we have to earn them, we never get anything on a silver platter.
My uncle disturbs me from my thoughts
Uncle Lu:  Nephew
Me:  Uncle, how are you?
Uncle Lu:  I’m good man and you?
Me:  I’m good, are you ready for this?
Uncle Lu:  Yeah man, let’s do this, your mother briefed me already, so is this guy here
Just then  Qhawe walks in.  he is another role model of mine, I look up to him.  The man is great at what he does and I hope my mom will approve of his idea,  I like it, I really do.  Maybe I should hook him up with my mom, they would make a cute couple.
Qhawe:   Khaya, how are you?
Me:  (I forgot to mention that he is very intimidating just like mom.) I’m good.  This is my Uncle Lungelo Sondlo he is standing in for Khanyi she has another meeting and uncle this Qhawelomzi Mthimkhulu
Unlce Lu:  Nice to meet you man.
Qhawe:  Likewise.  Khaya can we start I have another meeting to get to after this.
Khaya: Yes sure.  Everything is set up, you can just connect your laptop, I’ll get us some coffee so long.
Qhawe does his presentation and I can see that my uncle is impressed, who wouldn’t be. I mean this is a state of the art building which will have state of the art equipment, which reminds me Qhawe needs some information from the sound equipment guys.
The meeting went well, it took longer than we anticipated and Qhawe had to rush to his next meeting.  He’ll get feedback on Monday.
Uncle Lu:  I’m impressed, I’m sure your mom will be too.
Me:  I hope so.
Uncle Lu:  You guys should come over for dinner this weekend, you and your siblings, I haven’t seen you guys in a while
Me:  I’ll speak to mom.  But I know we don’t have plans with her this weekend.
Uncle Lu:  Cool then.  See you soon, I also have to rush. 
And he drives off and I get in my car and drive off.

QHAWELOMZI

I walked out of that boardroom feeling good about my presentation, I hope I’ll get this deal.   Being a divorcee and taking care of your kids on your own is not easy but I would never trade it for anything.  My ex-wife is always complaining about everything under the sun especially
How the kids don’t want to spend time with her, how could they when she doesn’t even respect them and take time to understand their needs, when she makes everything to be all about her.  I love my kids, I’ve been a single father now for 6 years, me getting full custody of the kids was part of the divorce settlement since their mother didn’t want to be a full time mom and it has been a bumpy ride and we are surviving, we making it and absolutely enjoy life together except for their mother who is just a thorn on our sides.  Juggling work and kids is not easy, I definitely understand what single women go through.  There is no life manual on how to deal with things, sometimes you wish there was, but I have learned along the way that prayer will get you through anything  and giving up has never been an option for me.
When I started my architectural company I had doubts but I stayed positive, stayed strong through difficult times and focused on building this company, a legacy for my kids and today my hard work has paid off, I am now one the best in the country.
My thoughts are interrupted by my twins:

Bandile:  Hey dad
Banele:  what’s up man
Me:  hey boys (banele is very laid back)
Bandile:  How did it go today are they going to use your company for their new building
Me;  I don’t know yet, they said they would contact in two days that means I’ll know Wednesday
Banele:  ok, I hope you get it
Me:  I hope so too.
Banele:  You look like something else is on your mind
Me:  It’s nothing man
Bandile:  Who is she
Me:  I don’t know, she goes to the same gym I go to.
Bandile and Banele:  Go on
Me:  It’s funny how they just said that at the same time)  there’s nothing much to tell, I haven’t spoken to her.  I just see her at the gym and she’s always in a hurry when she leaves.
Bandile:  Just don’t mess up the deal  while thinking about her.
He says as they walk out.  You know if it wasn’t for my kids, I don’t think  I would have made it this far.  The divorce was hectic, it was something that I don’t wish to experience again and something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.  After my divorce I never wanted to love a woman again.   That woman caused me so much pain but I decided not to paint women with the same brush that I paint her with.  I loved her but she killed that love but told myself that the one meant for me is out there.  I don’t go sleeping with every woman I meet.  I have casual sex here and there, I am only human and I have needs, so I just opted for a casual sex partner, and she’s great but I think it’s time I let her go, she wants more than I can give.  I shouldn’t drag this actually, let me just call her.
Me:  Hello
Her:  HI, how are you
Me :  I’m good, are you home can I come over, we need to talk
Her:  yes I am home, you can come, what time will you be here?
Me:  I’ll be there in 15  minutes
When I get there, she’s just wearing a gown, I think she thinks I’m here for our session.
Her:  Hi
Me:  May I come in
Her:  Sure
I walk in and sit on the dining table chair, she comes close and gives me a kiss but I don’t kiss her back, I just ask her to sit and at this moment she is looking very puzzled by my actions and she has always been  intimidated by me.
Me:  I’ll get straight to the point, there’s no need to drag it
Her;  what’s wrong?
Me:  Natasha look, I can’t continue seeing you.  I have noticed that you want more from this, you want more from me and the more you want  is the more that I can’t give you.  I don’t feel the same way you do.  I don’t want to string you along because if I do and let you fall in love with me you’ll get hurt. 
Natasha:  How do you know I have feelings for you, I never said anything
Me:  You didn’t have to say anything, your actions said it all, since last week, you changed, you are doing things differently, started acting like a girlfriend.  I don’t want to hurt you, that’s why I’m breaking things off with you.  Look you are a nice, I’m sure you’ll find a guy that will love you the way you want to be loved and that guy is not me.
Natasha:  and if I don’t want any other guy but you?
Me:  That’s the thing Natasha, you can’t have me.  Look I have to go, my kids are waiting for me. Good luck with everything.  I’ll see you around.
I get up and kiss her cheek and walk away, just as I reach the door
Her:  Que please don’t do this let’s try please
I turn I give her the look that says don’t call me that, she knows I hate being called Que.  She mumbles an apology, I nod and walk out. 
When I get home my 2 girls have started with dinner, I take over and let them start with their homework.  I help with their homework while busy cooking.  This is my life and I love it, I wouldn’t have it any other way, although sometimes I feel that I do need to have someone to share it with, I do get lonely at times.