His Love Healed My Heart

INSERT 11 (THURSDAY )

KHANYISILE

My gym session was awesome today. I had to get my personal trainer to come to my house.  I got to release the anger I had, release the stress I had, at least now I feel better.  Exercising has always done that for me, it has always been a good way for me to release my stress and sex, but the sex, I’ve been starving myself there, I probably have spider webs down there.  At least now I can be able to concentrate.  I really need to find a way to deal with Zwelibanzi and Nkosikhona, especially 
Zwelibanzi.  I hate the fact that he thinks he owns me and he can do as he pleases and I’m sure the car that followed us yesterday was one of his guys, he probably wants to know where I stay.  The kids walk into the kitchen as I finish my tea and collect my bags so that we can leave.  As we walk to the car Andile is ready for us.  We drop the kids off at school and he drives me to the office.
Me:  Andile you don’t have to stay with me, Brandon is here.
Andile:  I know Brandon is here but I feel a lot better being the one here.
Me:  Andile just stop, security has been tightened here, no one can get to my floor without an excess card, not to mention the excess codes that you guys change whenever you feel like, so I am very safe here.  I won’t be having out of office meetings for a while. So please just relax and besides, Eddie needs you.
Andile:  fine, I’ll let you be just for today and yes I do have a lot that I need to do with Eddie.  Be safe Khanyi and try to enjoy your day and don’t think too much about that idiot, we’ll deal with him.  You know we’ve got your back and we love you.
Me:  I know you’ve got me and I love you too guys, I can’t believe we’ve come this far. (He hugs me)
Andile:  And we still have a long way to go.  (I just smile at him, as tough as he is, when it comes to me, he just becomes a big softie. When i’m about to close the car door, he speaks) Khanyi, give Qhawe a chance, we like him. He’s good for you. You are ready even though you think you are not but you are. (I just smile and walk away.  These guys, they haven’t even known him that long, already they like him.  How do they know I’m ready, when I don’t even know that.)

I walk into my office and my PA is not at the desk, eish this girl.  I miss Ibanathi, I’m so used to how he does things, he always made me feel at ease, this is going to be a long 3 weeks without him. There’s a knock on my door and it’s the PA, she’s holding a cup and hands to me, it’s my hot water and I thank her.  She gives me a rundown of my day, not much is happening today.  I’ll be spending most the day with the Marketing department guys. She also tells me there is a delivery for me, the security guy is bringing it up. She walks out and my phone rings and it’s my mom, ok my parents don’t need to know about Zwelibanzi yet, so I won’t be saying anything about that.
Me:  Mom, how are you
Mom:  I’m good baby, just getting old, and how are you?
Me:  I’m good mom, work is keeping me busy.
Mom:  Don’t be so busy that you don’t have time to go on dates.  You need start dating, otherwise you’ll die alone. Anyway, when are the kids coming?
Me:  As soon as they finish with their June exams mom.
Mom:  Ok my baby.  Your dad says hi.  We’ll talk later then.  We love you.
Me:  I love you too guys and thanks for calling mom. Say hi to dad. (I hang up and the PA walks in with flowers and a medium sized blue teddy bear.
PA:  this is the delivery I told you about.
Me:  just put it on the desk, thank you very much.  Please close the door on your work out.

My favourite flowers white lilies, and I love teddy bears as well, who could have sent these, they can’t be from Zwelibanzi, he has never bought me flowers.  I notice a note, hanging on the teddy bear’s neck.  {I know you are scared, you don’t have to be, only because you are mine. NB:  I LOVE YOUR LIPS.}
I can’t help but blush; I can’t even remember the last time I blushed.  If I was light in complexion, I think my cheeks would be red now.  I really don’t know what Qhawe is doing to me. Should I give him a chance, what if I ruin it, what if I’m not what he is looking for, can he really fall for me, can I fall for him.  Will he be able to deal with me, love me unconditionally, I don’t think so, and I’m just too broken.


BANDILE

I’ve known Qhawe  for a very long time, since varsity years, that’s a very long time.  We’ve been there for each other through everything. It’s always been me, him and Lwazi, people always called us  the Three Musketeers. When he got married to his ex-wife, we were there, we still don’t know why he married her, well we know why, we just think that he didn’t have marry her, but he is our friend and we had to support him.  Qhawe wasn’t always this quiet intimidating guy, that woman changed him and in a way I’m glad he changed because people always took advantage him including his ex-wife.  He was so happy when the twins were born, he named them after us, Bandile and Banele which is Lwazi’s second name.  The smile he has when he talks about his kids is the same smile he has when he talks about Khanyi.  I never thought he would actually make his move, it took him long enough.  Khanyi is turning him into a big softie, I am not complaining though.  My phone rings:
Me: Qhawe!
Qhawe:  hey man, I need to see, can you come to my office and bring Lwazi with you.  I need your IT expertise.
Me:  do I want to know what’s going on?
Qhawe:  I’ll tell you guys when you are here. I’ve spoken to Lwazi you can just pick him at his house
Me:  Cool.  We’ll be there in no time.
I waste no time and grab my things and leave I pick up Lwazi and head to Qhawe’s office.  When we get there, the PA, shows us to his office.
Me:  What’s up man, we are here
Lwazi:  hey man, what do you need, who do we need to kill.
Qhawe:  will you please sit down, Zintle can you bring coffee for they guys and bring me a tea and also 2 blueberry muffins, and chocolate chip muffins for these two. (she walks out)
Me:  so we are here
Qhawe:  it’s about Khanyi, I think she is in trouble or rather let me say she has a problem with someone, her ex-husband to be precise and I need to find out as much as I can about this guy and you know Charlie can only do so much when it comes to computers. 
Lwazi:  who is this guy then.  Kodwa Qhawe, the woman is not yours yet and you are trying to help her.  Does she know about this?
Qhawe:  no she doesn’t, although I think she has her suspicions.
Me:  What do you have so far on this guy, what did Charlie manage to get? (I ask and he gives a file)
Zwelibanzi Tom, business tycoon, has his hand in a lot of cookie jars, why is this guy still walking the streets?
Lwazi:  Better yet, why is he still alive?
Qhawe:  Look guys I need more, something doesn’t add up, and whatever we find I have to share with her security guys. 
Me:  Can you trust them?
Qhawe:  Yeah man, especially Eddie, who is the head of security and Andile who is her personal body guard. I’ve noticed that they are more than employer and employee, they are family, there’s history between them, you can tell, they’ve been through shit together.
Lwazi:  I can see you really care about her, when am I meeting her, I know Bandile has met her
Qhawe:  Soon enough Lwazi.  Can you guys do this for me
Lwazi:  You know we can do it, and we will do it.  We’ll let you as soon as we have something.
Me:  Definitely man.
Qhawe:  thanks guys. 
We continue having a general conversation as we finish our coffee and muffins and Qhawe’s phone beeps, indicating that he has a message, I watch him as he reads the message, his face just changed for hard to soft, just like that and I know it’s a message from Khanyi.
Me:  You really like this woman nhe? (Lwazi takes Qhawe’s phone, Lwazi can be so childish at times, he reads the message:
{Thank you for the beautiful flowers, though I don’t remember telling you that they are my favourite flowers and I love teddy bears. I love them. NB:  At least I’m not completely at a disadvantage, I also know about something you love.   Thank you}
Qhawe:  Lwazi give me my phone before I shoot you.
Me:  you sent her flowers, and what does she mean by not being completely at a disadvantage?
Qhawe:  thank you guys for coming, I have to get back to work now.  You can take the muffins with you.
Me:  Oh, it’s like that now, fine. Lwazi let’s go. (we leave as he just laughs at us, this idiot.)


KHAYA


I got a call from my so called father yesterday, he wanted to see me, so we met and talked, and I must say, it’s a good thing, I agreed to see him, I feel a lot better now that I’ve said what I wanted to say to him.  
……………………………………………………….FLASH BACK……………………………………………………………………………
Nkosikhona:  you have grown, how are you?
Me:  I’m good, what do you want?
Nkosikhona:  you are just like your mom, just want to get straight to point.
Me:  I ask again, what do you want?
Nkosikhona:  I want to apologise, for not being there, all your life, I’m not going to lie, your mom did everything she could to make sure I have a relationship with you guys, but I was too stupid, easily influence and swayed, there’s no valid reason for me not to be there for you, I was an idiot, a fool that didn’t know what he wanted out of life. I am truly sorry for abandoning you guys.
Me:  I know mom did all she could to get to have a relationship with us, she never asked you for me money, she raised us and we are who we are because of her.  I was angry at and holding a grudge against you and that was destroying and in the process I was slowing killing the one person I know would die for me, and that is my mother.  She is not perfect, she makes mistakes just like everyone else but she made sure we were never short of anything most importantly she always made sure that we never felt unloved.  What I’m trying to say is that, mom has been a mother and father to us, believe it or not that woman taught how to be a good man.  I don’t need you in my life, maybe you need me in yours, I don’t know and I don’t care.  I accept your apology, I forgive you but don’t expect me to be your son and I’m not doing this for you, I’m doing it for my own sanity.
Nkosikhona:  You sound just like your mother
Me:  I learned from the best.
……………………………………………………………….END OF FLASH BACK……………………………………………………………

I park my car in the drive way and take a deep breath just to relax.  I walk up to the door and enter the house, and go to the kitchen, I know she’s cooking, it smells amazing in here.
Me:  Hi mom
Mom:  Hey baby, how are you
Me:  I am good, what are you making for dinner?
Lwanele:  She’s cooking our favourite, Oxtail, with veggies and garlic bread. (as she walks into the kitchen)
Me:  Well, I’m staying for dinner.
Lwanele:  Oh please don’t make it sound like you were not going to stay.
Me:  (I just laugh at her.)   Where are your brothers?
Lwanele:  They are your brothers too you know.  They are in the study.  We are busy with homework and studying.  Exams are starting next week.
Me:  ok, little sis, can you give us a moment, I just want to have a word with mom about something, I’ll join guys as soon as I’m done.
Lwanele:  Ok.  Anyway, mom I came to ask you if you can help me with my homework after dinner.  There’s something that I don’t understand.
Me:  I’ll help you, how about we just let mom rest today.
Lwanele:  Cool (she says walking away.)
Me:  she is so adorable.  Mom, I met up with my so called father yesterday, he called wanting to see me.
Mom:  and how do you feel?
Me:  I feel good, I feel lighter and I told him that just because I choose to forgive him, he must not expect me to be his son.
Mom:  I’m glad you feel good.  That’s all I want, for you guys to be happy.
Me:  and we are happy mom.  We’ve had our share of ups and downs but we are happy.  We love you and thank you for loving us the way you do. (She smiles and hugs me and asks to call the other kids, so that we can eat.  It’s always good to be home.  We have dinner listening to my younger siblings telling us about their day at school today. The boys have their last rugby game this weekend before they start with exams. There’s absolutely no place like home.