His Love Healed My Heart

INSERT 91

STAURDAY
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NKOSIKHONA
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I’ve been thinking of going back to Durban again, I need to try and speak to Khanyi again.  My life is falling apart even my wife is threatening to leave if I bother Khanyi and the kids again but I know she won’t.  she needs me in her life just as much as I need her.  My aunt Nomzamo walks in.  she is a sangoma but you  can never say.  She dresses nice, she has a high paying job, a car and a very beautiful house with a hut that she uses for consultations and all.  Today she is wearing the attire that she normally wears when she consults and she is carrying a sash and that small stick of hers that’s covered with beads.  She must have had a client to see close by.
Aunt Nomzamo:  Nkosikhona,  how are you my child?
Me:  I’m fine auntie and how are you?
Aunt Nomzamo:  I’m good.  (she takes her grass mat that she was carrying also and lays it on the floor and sits on it.)  sit down Nkosikhona, I am here to see you
Me:  hayibo why Auntie?
Aunt Nomzamo:  Nkosikkona, you need to do what is required of you to do.   You need to do a small ceremony for the ancestors, ask for forgiveness that you never did right by your kids.  Your ancestors are not happy that you never did IMBELEKO for Khaya and Linamandla.  The mothers family did it on their side and the kids were introduced to their ancestors, and their ancestors are with them all the time, those kids are recognised in that family and they allowed them to use your clan name so that they don’t lose sense of who they are.  Do as I tell you and things will be better for you, if you don’t then your life will continue falling apart.  You won’t have direction in life.  Nkosikhona as a parent you don’t ignore your kids and not expect consequences.  Everything that is happening to you is because of the pain you caused that woman and her kids.  Their tears are coming back to you ten times more.  Karma is a bitch my child and there’s not much any of us can do you for you.  Put your pride aside and humble yourself to that woman and remember she is within her rights to refuse you because she knows nothing will happen to her kids.  You are going about this wrong way.  You need to send your uncles to her parents and plead your case with them.  She can’t agree to anything without talking to her parents. Put your pride aside and humble yourself to that family. Pay damages Nkosikhona, do what was required to be done a long time ago.  I don’t understand why your parents let you get away with this.  They are dead now and we are left to deal with their stupid, stubborn child.
Me:  But Auntie I spoke to Khanyi and she won’t let the kids come here and they don’t want to come here.  This ceremony that you say I must do, is it a long term solution.
Aunt Nomzamo:  the only long term solution for you is to introduce your kids to your ancestors by doing IMBELEKO and introduce them their siblings, they need to know each other.  Do what you should have done years ago and things will be better, otherwise you are still going to have problems in life.  Remember what I said, “Karma is a bitch” and right now Karma is having fun with you.  The wheel turns my child and you thought it would never turn for you.  We love you Nkosikhona and you need to start listening to us and do as we tell you, stop being so hard headed.
Me:  I hear you Auntie.
Auntie Nomzamo:  You heard me as well the last time I had this conversation with you and look where you are now, you don’t even know if you coming or going.
Me:  I don’t want short term solutions auntie.  I need for things to go back to normal.  Lately I don’t even know what I do with the money I have and I keep losing money.  My kids are acting up as well. Nothing is going right.
Aunt Nomzamo:  there are no short cuts to this, follow procedure and all will be well. Remember Nkosikhona what you are planning to do with those kids will have you killed.  She won’t hesitate to do it to protect her kids (with that said she stands and collects her things and leaves.)
My family doesn’t understand what I am going through.  I don’t really have time for this, those kids need to come here and we do IMBELEKO for them.  I haven’t even seen them around here, maybe they are not coming to the Eastern  Cape for the holidays.  I need to try and speak to Khanyi before I send my uncles to her parents. I am going to Durban soon I need to do this before Christmas and that’s only a week and a half away.
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SIHLE
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Me:  how are you feeling?
Lungi:  I’m fine.  What are you doing here?  I really don’t want to talk to you.
Me:  you don’t have to talk, you can just listen,
Lungi:  I don’t want to do that either mama.
Me:  Please Lungi
Lungi:  fine
Me:  I am truly sorry for what I put you through, I am sorry that I lied to you and kept you from your father, there’s no valid reason for why I did it.  I was just selfish  because I got hurt and I don’t blame your father either because he was always clear about his feelings.  I really hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me someday and I hope your father will too.  I’ll be leaving for JHB tomorrow.  I’m going to my family.  The truth is out and I have to tell them what happened and I need to ask your uncles to handle your lobola negotiations.
“I’m sorry Sihle that won’t be happening.”  (that’s Luyanda.)
Me:  Luyanda please, you can’t do that.
Luyanda:  I can and I will.  In fact it’s done.  Lobola negotiations will done in the Eastern Cape, her traditional wedding will be held at the Eastern.  Hey baby how are you feeling today?
Lungi:  I’m feeling fine thanks.  Mama I did ask that I wanted my dad’s family to be involved in my lobola negiations.
Me:  Lungi I raised you, your lobola should come to me.
Luyanda:  who’s fault is that Sihle, whose fault is it that you raised her alone.  Let me tell you something that money is going into a trust fund for her so that she can be able to continue with her studies should she wish to do so.  In fact everything that has to do with her wedding will be done in the Eastern Cape unless she chooses otherwise. Are you ok with that Lungi? We can always discuss everything when you get out of here.
Lungi:  actually that’s what I’ve always wanted
Luyanda:  let’s talk outside (he says looking at me.) I’ll be back just now.  (he kisses Lungi on the fore head and we walk out.  We go to the room next door to Lungi’s, it’s empty)
Me:  why are we here?
Luyanda:  I want you to listen to me and I want you to listen very carefully.  As from this moment, you will have no say in Lungi’s life.  All decisions that need to be made by a parent, I will make them.  Your family will have no say when it comes to her.  for all I know your family knows that my daughter is alive or you confided in someone in your family and they watched me making a fool of myself going to them to see if you are not back and probably laughing at me.  (at that moment I looked down, I couldn’t look at him because he was telling the truth.  I did confide in someone, one of my aunts but she died and I don’t know if she ever told my family.) You did tell someone didn’t you? ( I couldn’t say anything.)  You know what it doesn’t matter anymore.  I do want you to know that you will suffer for what you did.  You took her from me knowing very well how much I loved her, how much my family loved her but you still took her from me.
She is getting married next year and you will have no say, I don’t even want you to give input on what type of deco she should go for.  I don’t want you paying for anything.  I’ll take care of the wedding costs from her family side myself.   As for the lobola money, you won’t get a cent out of, awuzukuyinuka nokuyi nuka. (you won’t even smell it.)  you can go to JHB and tell your family and if they want to see, she won’t go to them, they have to come to her.
Me:  Kodwa Luyanda you are not being fair, at least let her go to Johannesburg.
Luyanda:  did you just say I am not being fair, I am not being fair Sihle?  Were you being fair when you disappeared off the face of the earth with my only child, was it fair that I had to suffer so much pain because of your selfishness, was it fair that I had to go crazy because of you. Was it fair that my parents had suffer because they couldn’t see their grandchild. Balance this equation for me, how is it that I am being unfair and you were being fair? She is not going to Johannesburg not anytime soon and that is final. Yazi you are getting off easy, I should kill you but that will also be too easy.  Mark my words Sihle, you will pay, slowly and painfully, you will beg me to kill you.  Let’s go, she is probably wondering where we are.  (I keep quiet and follow him back to Lungi’s room.)
Lungi:  what took you so long?
Luyanda:  we just had a few things to iron out.
Me:  Like I said I’m leaving for Johannesburg tomorrow, I’ll probably stay a week.  Will you be ok alone at the house.
Lungi:  actually I was wondering if I could stay with father for a while, that’s if he is ok with that.  (she turns to look at Luyanda who is all smiles.)
Luyanda:  How long is a while?
Lungi:  Until I get married, if that’s ok with you, it will give us a chance to get to know each other better before I become someone’s wife.
Me:  That long Lungi, no you can’t
Lungi:  why not.  I don’t see anything wrong with wanting to spend time with him.  You had 22 years with me and what’s a few months compared to that.  I’m sorry mama, I love you but this is one decision you don’t get to make for me. 
Luyanda:  I am perfectly fine with that.  The house is big enough for all of us and you’ll get a chance to get to know your soon to be step mom.  She likes you.
Lungi:  I like her too.
Luyanda:  we’ll get a room ready for you.  Sihle you can pack her things for her and I’ll fetch them later.
Lungi:  Actually I would like to do that myself.  There’s a few things I need to talk to mom about and my car is there, so if you don’t mind I’ll drive myself.
Luyanda:  No you won’t.  I’ll go with Khaya, he can drive your car.
Lungi:  Khaya hates driving my car, he says it’s too small.
Luyanda:  it is too small, I’ll come with Lina, she drives the same car.
Me:  can’t you at least sleep over tonight and leave tomorrow when I leave.
Lungi:  If you don’t mind mama, I’d rather not.  I’m still angry with you and I really don’t feel like being around you.