His Love Healed My Heart

INSERT 34

TWO MONTH LATER

ANELISA

“You reap what you sow” that’s exactly what I’m doing. I tried to kill someone, got caught and now I’m reaping the benefits of my actions.  Sizwe delayed the bail for about a week, saying that my new cell is not ready.  He had me placed under suicide watch so that I don’t kill myself.  He said he can’t afford to have me kill myself.  In that week Qhawe, Khanyi and the Twins came to see me.  The twins were very disappointed actually they were hurt and I could understand why.
************************ FLASH BACK******************************************
Banele: How could you even contemplate doing something like this mommy, why?
Bandile:  Your relationship with dad was over years ago and we had accepted that and lived with it. Why couldn’t you just accept especially since you are the one that wanted the divorce?  All we wanted was for you guys to be happy.  Dad is happy, happier than we’ve ever seen him and we lived with him all our lives and he has never been this happy especially after you guys divorced.  He is happy, let him be.
Banele:  Sis’ Khanyi didn’t come into our lives to replace you, she created her place in our lives and hearts, she treats us the same way she treats her children, she loves us just as much, we call her mom because she earned it, she didn’t ask us to, it was our choice. She is a part of lives and by the looks of things she is going to be around for a very long time.
Bandile:  You might as well accept that and live with.  You have all the time to do it in here.  We love you Anelisa, but to be honest, you were never really what a mother should be to her children, you never really gave us a mother’s love and the one woman that does that for us, you try to kill.  If you were not my mother, I swear you wouldn’t be breathing right now. (he stood up and walked away.)
Banele:  I really hope you find peace and use this time that you have in here to find yourself. Bye mom.  (he stood and kissed my cheek.)
Qhawe:  I won’t force them to come visit you, I’ll bring them only if they want to.  The girls are not back yet from their holiday and they said they are not ready to see you.
*****************************END OF FLASH BACK**********************************
Nothing cut me deep as that moment.  I felt like my kids had disowned. They spoke the truth and to have my kids tell me the things they told me that day, it really hurt. Sizwe finally got me out.  He took me to a forest and it had this beautiful Wendy house.  Inside it was very beautiful and very elegant.  It had three bedrooms, lounge, bathroom and a kitchen.  He took to this one of the rooms, everything that was in that room made me go ice cold.  It had steel bars on the door and on the windows, it had another door inside which led to a toilet with a small sink and mirror on the wall above the sink.  He wasn’t lying when he said he would make me pay. There was a single bed in the room. This room had everything you could think of to torture a person. And he did torture me, he lived up to his promise, every day when he came in to torture me, I wanted him to kill me, I begged him to kill me and he would say “it’s not time yet sweetheart”.  The man made me suffer for what I did, he tortured me for 3 weeks. From electrifying me, to surgically cutting me, he removed my skin on certain parts of my body, he did a lot that I can’t even mention, strangely enough he never not once sexually violated me or beat me. He stopped after three weeks and brought a doctor to look at me and treat me.  I was surprised by this gesture.  Three days later he took out of my cell and put me in one of the other rooms, it had a double bed, a small wardrobe and a dresser with a mirror.  I didn’t understand what was going on, I was still locked in. he came in once that day, to bring me dinner.  The following morning he came and took me to the bathroom and told me to bath after I was done he took me back to the bedroom and brought me some food.  That night after I ate, he came back in the room, I was just sitting on the bed. He checked my wounds and they healing, it didn’t hurt so much anymore.  He sat next to me and surprised with a kiss, which after a while I responded to, he made me lie on my back and took off the t-shirt I was wearing and I was left naked. I was confused, didn’t know what to do and for the first time he spoke “ you have a choice, you can always say “NO” to what about to do.” With that said he continued to kiss me and I let him.  He made love to me, wait let me rephrase that, he fucked me, he had no emotion, no feelings nothing and he wouldn’t let me have an orgasm.  That carried on for the next four days. He would come into my room at least three to four times a day for sex and every time he told me that I can always say “No”, I can always tell to stop and he will, but I never did. During one of the sex sessions, he told me he has decided not to kill me, he thought he could kill me, he said he has never killed a woman and I was not going to be his first and that my children still needed to see me. He said he was taking me back to prison. Before he took me back, he made me do a pregnancy test and we discovered that i was pregnant. This is the worst pain I feel, with everything that he did to me, nothing hurts like knowing  that I can never be a mother to this child, I’ll never see this baby grow up, it is by far the worst pain and he knows.  I am placed in safest part of the female prison with other pregnant prisoners.  Sizwe is going to come to every check-up.  He threatened to kill my kids should I try to kill myself or abort this baby.  Here I am a month pregnant and stuck with a baby I’ll never get see.


ZWELIBANZI

It’s been two months since Khanyi was shot.  I still haven’t told her about my dad.  I’ve been to her house for my once a week visits with the kids and those are still not going well. I saw Khaya twice at the house and I must say the kid hates me, not that I blame him though.  Sizwe went on a one month vacation, came back looking fresh and happy which I find strange.  He still hasn’t told me what’s making him so happy and I doubt he’ll ever tell.  The thing about Sizwe is that he knows how stay quiet, how to not say anything meaning he knows how to keep a secret.  In the month that he wasn’t around, everything was a mess with the business. Someone is stealing my money and we don’t who it is, I’ve had four police raids in one of my warehouses, my products have gone missing, don’t know how.  I told Sizwe about all of this and just told me that I don’t know how to keep my people in line and he laughed.  Things have been running smoothly since he came back but we still don’t know who is stealing my money.  When we try to track it, it goes from one account to other different accounts and it disappears, the trail just goes cold.  My dad is getting worse and mama keeps nagging me about bringing Khanyi and the kids.  I need to speak to her and I know she is going to say no, but then again Sizwe is right, I don’t know what she is going to say until I speak to her. Khanyi still refuses to sell me her company.  I really need to find a way that will make her sell to me without hesitation, something that won’t make her think twice about selling. Heeee! I think I’ve got.  I take my phone and call Khanyi, I can’t put this off any longer.

Me:  Hello Khanyi, how are you?
Khanyi:  I’m fine Zwelibanzi, what do you want?
Me:  I would like to talk to you about something, can I come over?
Khanyi:  No you may not, you were here yesterday.  Whatever you want to talk about I’m sure you can manage doing that over the phone.
Me:  fine.  My dad is sick, very sick. His cancer came back.  He wants to see you and the kids.  Khanyi they both miss their grandchildren, they would like to see them.  (she goes silent for a while, she’s probably thinking.)
Khanyi:  Give me their contact numbers, I’ll speak to them. (she lets out a heavy sigh.)
Me:  I’ll send them. (she doesn’t wait for me to say anything else she hangs up.)

Well we’ll see how this is going go, my phone rings and it’s an unknown number:

Me:  Hello
Him:  tell me Mr Tom, how does it feel to be losing money and you know who is stealing it.  (I don’t  recognise the voice, he’s probably the one stealing my money)
Me:  Are you the one stealing my money
Him:  This is nothing Mr Tom, you are still going to lose a whole lot more.  That’s a nice looking girlfriend you have there and those cute twins of yours and you have three other children right.
Me:  what do you want?
Him:  Oh! Don’t worry about that, I’ll tell you this though, you are going to pay for your crimes. I won’t kill you, but you will go to jail (Just then Sizwe walks in.)
Me:  who are you?
Him:  You’ll find out soon enough.  Make sure to answer your phone when I call, if you don’t answer something bad will happen.  Do we understand each other Zwelibanzi?
Me: Yes we do.  (he hangs up, and I’m left stunned)
Sizwe:  Zweli what’s wrong?  You look like you’ve seen a ghost. (I can hear him speak, I’m still in shock of what just happened.)  hey snap out of it.  What the fuck is wrong with you?
Me:  The person stealing my money just called and threatened my kids and Sima.  He says I’m going to pay for my crimes, he’s going to make sure I go to jail.  Do you know what’s going to happen to me if I go to prison?  I have more enemies in prison than I do out here Sizwe.
Sizwe:  I’m very aware of that.  Maybe they are just bluffing, just trying to scare you.
Me:  No Sizwe, this is not an empty threat my friend.  This guy means business and I need to find out who he is soon before he destroys everything I’ve worked hard for.  (Sizwe is looking at me like I’ve grown two heads, I don’t think he has ever seen me this scared.)

LONWABO

I’m 17 years old and the shit I’ve seen happen around me and the shit I’ve experienced, it’s not stuff a 17 year old should experience.  Mom would kill me if she heard me talking like this, she hates it when we use foul language.  We are not allowed to swear at all.  She doesn’t swear, at least not in front of us.  I couldn’t believe that the mother of our newly found siblings tried to kill mom just because she wanted her ex-husband back, ex-husband who happens to be my mom’s boyfriend, who in turn became my dad, I don’t how people think sometimes.  My new sisters are so hurt about this whole thing.  We’ve become so close over the past few months.  They feel so bad about what happened, they keep apologising for their mother.  I mean it’s not their fault, they are not the ones that shot her.  We don’t hate them for it.  they are so worried that we would hate them for it.  Mom would kill us, she taught us better. “Don’t hate or judge people because of other people’s actions, you will end up lonely.” That’s what she always says to us.  We don’t hate them, we love them too much to hate them.  I’ve seen what my father did to my mom, I’ve heard her cries in the bathroom when she is alone. I have accidentally seen her naked and saw the bruises on her body caused by my father, he caused her a lot of pain but I don’t hate his parents for what he did. I’m sure they taught him better.  I miss them though maybe I should speak to mom about visiting them. We tried to make the girls understand that we do not hate them for what their mother did.  We remain very close and our relationship as siblings is growing stronger every day.  Ever since we found out about the shooting, Lisakhanya has been having nightmares.  In as much as she is very close to Lwanele but she felt more comfortable telling me about her nightmares, maybe because she knows about my history of nightmares when I found out about what my father was doing to mom.  Going to therapy helped a lot.  I don’t get the nightmares anymore but I’ve had one or two since the man walked into our lives but having Qhawe around really helps, only him and Lisakhanya know that I sometimes get them.  Lisakhanya doesn’t want me to tell the parents about her nightmares.  She would walk into my room in the middle of the night and I would know she had one, I would have to share my bed with her.  Lwanele sometimes gets jealous, she does the same thing when she can’t sleep, she wanst to cuddle with me.  Sometimes I end up having both of them in my bed.  Thank God mom bought double beds for us.  When I ask them why they don’t go to Ntando’s room, they said Ntando snores.  I couldn’t help but laugh.  Lisakhanya walks in to the kitchen and I’m making myself a sandwich.
Me:  do you want one (I ask pointing at the sandwich)
Lisa:  No thank you, I’m not hungry.
Me:  what’s wrong little sis?
Lisa:  Nothing is wrong, I just want to say thank you for being there for me and sharing your bed with me when I get my nightmares.
Me:  you do understand that you will have to go for therapy soon.  It helped me with my nightmares and I am still going for therapy.
Lisa:  I know Wabo, I just don’t want the parents to worry. (she calls me Wabo)
Me:  It’s their job to worry about us Lisa.  You need help little sis, we have to tell mom and dad.
“tell us what?”  (that’s mom and dad walking into the kitchen.) “shit”