His Love Healed My Heart

INSERT 141

STILL MONDAY
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MRS MKHIZE (MCEBISI’S MOM)
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When I found out I was pregnant with Mcebisi I never thought that I would have a child.  I had him at an age I thought I wouldn’t  have kids anymore.  My husband always said that I gave up too soon.  He was the one that always had hope, he never gave up and he always said that we would have sons that would be able to carry on the Mkhize name.  He was right.  We were blessed with our one and only son and now he is married and he will carry on the Mkhize name just as his father said long ago.  We raised our son here and he has always been different from other local kids.  He has always been driven and focused. Apart from that,  He was just like other boys.  He liked girls a lot, I never thought he would get married especially after one of his friends betrayed him, he even stopped having friends because of that betrayal and he seemed happy with his decision.  He never had a girl that he would call a girlfriend.  We never really put pressure on him about having a steady girlfriend and all.  I must say I was surprised when he wanted to introduce Lina to us and told us that she is the girl that he wants to marry and now my son is a married man.

I’ve always had problems with my neighbour.  She is a single a mother, her husband left her years ago and only God knows why.  She never talks about it and I never pry into her business.  She irritates me though.  She has always had this idea that our kids would get married one day and we would be this one big family.  I know that the only reason she wants that is because she thinks we have money.  We are not rich but we are able to live a comfortable life and be able to do the things we love doing and when Mcebisi started working, he spoils us rotten.  He even had our house renovated.  This woman would always say that her daughter would be well taken care of.  I don’t understand why this woman can’t see that my son never looked at her daughter that way.  The girl is also the type of girl that wants a man to do everything for her, she is not driven, she doesn’t have dreams of her own.  My son never had interest in that type of woman.  He said that even if his woman wants to be a housewife, she must have something to keep her busy, like a small business or something.

I’m glad my son met Lina.  He seems to be comfortable with his inlaws and they have accepted him as their son.  He seems to be very close with Lina’s older brother Khaya.  They seem inseperable.  It was wonderful to watch them working together during the wedding preperations, laughing together.  My has something that he never had and I think it’s something he has always longed for and that’s siblings.  My son walks in the kitchen while I am making myself some tea.

Mcebisi:  Ma, why are you sitting here alone, where are the girls?
Me:  they took a walk to the spazza shop.  We forgot to buy bread when we went shopping.
Mcebisi:  I see.  Are you ok though?  You see very distant with your thoughts
Me:  I’m ok baby, just thinking and realising how happy and comfortable you are with your in laws. (just then, there’s a knock on the door and Sne  and her mom walk in)
Sne:  Hello (she is carrying plates in her hands)  How are you?
Me:  we are fine sisi.  What can I do for you? (I have to do the talking since my son decided that he won’t say a word.)
Sne’s Mom:  MaMkhize I brought the plates that I took home yesterday.
Me:  Thank you MaKhumalo.
MaKhumalo:  why are you making tea for yourself when you have a daughter in law that can do it for you?  If you had agreed to my request, Sne would be making you tea now and you would be just relaxing.
Me:  My daughter is not a slave in this house and she is not married to me, she is married to my son.  She is free, she doesn’t have to do anything for any of us  except for her husband and your daughter is not his wife and she never will be.
MaKhumalo:  You never know.  He might just take her as  a second wife.
Mcebisi:  and what makes you think I would do that?  Listen MaKhumalo, I told you that if you don’t stop with this nonsense we are going to have problems.  Lina is my wife, you and your daughter will respect that and you will respect her as my wife.  I will not have you terrorising her.  (Lina and her sisters walk in)  You guys are back
Lwanele:  yes Bhuti.  Can you take us to your favourite spot later on to watch the sunset.
Mcebisi:  come here (she goes to him and stands between his legs.)  how do you know about that?
Lisakhanya:  Lina told us about it and she says it’s beautiful.
Sibahle:  I smell trash
Lina:  Khabazela I thought you took the trash out.
Mcebisi:  I did babe, you know I did but some how the bin keeps feeling up.
Lwanele:  in that case we should keep the bin outside.
Mcebisi:  I try but somehow it finds it’s way back in to the house.
Zenande:  so basically, it’s like a pest.  Maybe we should call the pest control since the municipality is not doing the job with the trash.  Maybe the pest control will do better with the pests. (I like these girls, they really don’t like Sne.)
Lisakhanya:  We has guests, Hello
Sne:  Hi, how are you?
Lisa:  fine thanks.  Ma would you like some tea?
Me:  it’s ok sweetie, I already made for myself. You can just give me a slice of cake. (they completely ignore Sne and  her mom, to them it’s like they are not in the room.  Lina walks over to her husband and kisses his cheek.))
Lina:  Would you like anything Khabazela?
Mcebisi:  A slice of cake would be nice MaMkhize. (he is calling her that on purpose)
MaKhumalo:  let us leave, we’ll talk soon makhelwane (neighbour)
Sne:  I’m going to stay  a bit.
Sibahle: No you won’t, thanks for stepping by.
Me:  yes thank you for stepping by MaKhumalo.  We’ll see you tomorrow plus my son is going out with the girls soon.
Lwanele:  Lona says it’s the most beautiful sunset Bhuti
Mcebisi:  It is.  You will see for yourself.
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LWAZI
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Him:  How did you find me?
Me:  the same way you found me.
Him:  what do you want?
Me:  I should be asking that question.  You are the one that was looking for me.
Him:  what are you going to do with that, are you going to shoot me?
Me:  that depends
H’im:  On what?
Me:  on your answers to my questions.
Him:  what questions are those?
Me:  what do you want from me?
Him:  forgiveness
Me:  and you think you deserve it?
Him:  No I don’t but at least I know when I die , I would die knowing I tried to make amends.
Me:  Why, why did you do it?
Him:  Honestly I don’t know.  I guess the drugs and the alcohol enhance who I really was at that time.
Me:  so you believe you have changed?
Him:  I’d like to believe that.
ME:  do you want to know why I am here today?
Him:  why are you here?
Me:  I am here because I am tired of living in fear of you.  I’m tired of my nightmares.  I’m tired of waking up in the middle of the night with the thoughts that you might come back and hurt me again.  My therapist said I should face my fears and I am doing that today. I wish it was you who died instead of her at least that way I know I would have lived a happy life.  I’ve always lived in fear that you would find me and drag me back home but you didn’t.  I am glad that my uncle stayed true to his word and thanks to him and his wife, the love they gave me and showed me  kept me going and it still does.
You are nothing to me.  At this moment you don’t exist.  I just never realised that earlier on.  I don’t need you in my life.  My uncle is still alive and he is still there for me.  I am going to forgive you but I want nothing to do with you.  I am not going to kill you because death would be an easy escape for what you put me through.  I want you to live with it for the rest of your life.  I want it to haunt you every day.  I want it to haunt you more like there’s no tomorrow.
Him:  You can’t mean that Lwazi?
Me:  I mean every word of it.  You are dead to me  Don’t try to talk your way out of it this time.  You are dead to me.  Don’t call me, don’t text me, don’t do anything to try and contact me.  God knows I hate you enough to kill you but I won’t,  karma will deal with you.
Him:  I hear you and I don’t blame you.

This is something that I had to do.  I had to face him.  at first I was scared But  I realised that I was giving him power.  Life has not been easy for me because of everything that’s going on.  At least now I know I can move on with my life

Him:  I know that what I did to you was wrong in so many levels and it unforgivable.  I know your mother died because of me and right now there is nothing  I can do to bring her back.  All I can hope for is that you will meet her one day in heaven.  I may wish for death right now, but you are right.  Death would be an easy escape .  for what it’s worth, I am truly sorry for what I put you true and I am grateful that you decided to chill with us a bit

(I get up putting my gun and breathing a little.  I am grateful for Thando, I am grateful that she is a part of my life.  Lately I don’t know how I would have managed without her.  She is an awesome woman and I intend to marry her soon.)