Poems •Sirius Black• /editing/

Poems - 149.

Chapter 149

"We're almost going home," Adria whispered, her head on Sirius' chest as they lay near the black lake on a blanket they had stolen from Remus' bed, watching the stars that illuminated the sky and the half-moon too.

"A few weeks," Sirius nodded, gripping her waist tightly, pressing his lips to her forehead, "you alright, baby? You haven't been the same since Gully's family's funeral."

"I know," Adria sighed, pushing herself up whilst Sirius did the same, trailing his fingertips down her arm until he reached her hand, intertwining their fingers, allowing her to turn around and soon did she climb onto his lap, her head on his shoulder, "I'm scared, Sirius."

"Adria-"

She pressed her finger to his lips, turning to face him, her legs straddling his, wrapping them around him, holding onto him, "we're in a war now, Sirius, they're not telling us a thing but in a few months, we'll be on our own with no protection other than the spells that we have practiced in classes. This man, this lord, V-Voldemort, he's using fear for power, so I wish not to be afraid but it's hard, his followers killed Gully's family!

And the thing is, this has been happening since fifth year, and selfishly, I ignored it because it was the only thing I could do that wouldn't scare me, but when it happens to someone so close to you, a muggleborn like I am, it's just so terrifying, I'm so scared, I'm so afraid, and no one sees that.

Everyone fights because it's the right thing to do, because it's heroic, and powerful, but what about just fighting for yourself? Does that make me selfish? Fighting for my life and the life of the ones I love? To find justice for those who need it and not because I wish to be heroic!

I don't know what to do, I don't know how to fight, or when to, I thought after Hogwarts that we would look after Jude, and we'd help my dad, and take our freaking god daughter out, but can we do that without risking our lives, and the ones of the people we love?!

Jude and Mila are just children, and if their lives are going to be in danger because of us, then I don't want to put their life on the risk, I don't want to risk hurting them because of me, because I was born to two muggles and not to witches.

But I would never change my parents, or my family, I would never not be a muggleborn because I love them, I loved my mum with everything I had and I still do, and I love my dad with all my heart and just because they can't pick up a wand and use it doesn't mean I love them any less!

I'm proud to be their daughter, and I will fight for the pride I have for them, for the justice I deserve, but the justice they deserve as my parents. If I lost my dad, or Benji, or Alfie, or Alina, or Jude, or Lia, or Mila, or Grace or any of our friends I would go crazy, Sirius I wouldn't be able to cope.

But if I lost you, Sirius, I wouldn't be able to live, I c-can't lose you, I can't, which makes me wonder if fighting is worth it, if fighting for my life is worth it. I don't want to be a coward, but I don't want to lose you, I couldn't lose you!" she shook her head, tears streaming down her face as she held his face in her hand, "and it's so heart-breaking when you look over at the Slytherin table, because not all Slytherin's are bad and that is the worst stereotype to place on that house.

They are good people, there are good Slytherin's, but most of them have grown up with pureblood parents, with the same beliefs as Voldemort, who have the mark, and are fighting, and they have been brainwashed to think that what they believe in is the right thing, that I'm dirt, and you're a traitor, and that is so wrong, and I know that not all Slytherin's think that way, and it's hard because which ones are lying?"

"Adria," Sirius rested his head against hers, leaning up to wipe the tears that spilled, he hated seeing her like this, so torn, so hurt, and upset, and scared, it was different from the Adria he knew, the one that wouldn't hesitate to fight for what she believed in, and what she thought was right.