Poems •Sirius Black• /editing/

Poems - 164.

Chapter 164

Adria sighed contently as she sat with Sirius' arms around her, the unusual sun for February beaming down on the three sat near the black lake, exams weren't for another few months but even last year was Adria studying for them, so much so that after classes, Sirius forced her to leave behind her textbooks and have some time to relax, something she desperately needed, and even she could admit that, she was terribly stressed out these days, and everyone was starting to notice.

They were unsure why, though, seeing as she was incredibly smart, and definitely worked hard for her success, no one really knew why she thought she needed to study so much, but the answer was nestled into her brain, and occasionally would it pop up out of the blue, reminding her, edging her, irritating her to the point of no belief, sending the terrible fear of failure into her stomach.

Ever since her first year she felt as though she had to prove herself, to prove her worth, that she should be at Hogwarts, and that she was nothing less than a pureblood, but her lack of skills during her first year, all the way to her third year had drastically taken a chunk from her confidence, had set her back terribly to the point that she didn't think she was capable.

But soon finding out that she was more than capable in her third year was the biggest achievement that Adria was so glad she accomplished, but of course, confidence doesn't fully build up, well not that quickly anyway, she knew she was good, she knew she could do it, but there was the irk in her brain that told her to do better, that she had to prove herself, to rise above everyone else even though she knew she couldn't, there would always be something someone else could do better, and whilst she knew the voice in her mind shouldn't get to her, well it did.

It was always there, bringing her down when she least expected it. an insecurity, that was what it was, her insecurities in the form of a voice that made sure to go where she went, floating through her mind, surprising her when she thought of studying, thought of what she had to do, it was always lurking, always there to make her feel useless.

But for the most part, she managed to keep it at bay, managed to block out the words the voice spoke, to widen her smile and stand confident with her friends and with herself, and only did the voice come out in times of stress, high stress, like stress of exams, or even the sadness she felt when she lost her mother, and whilst it irritated her to no belief, she couldn't exactly feel ever more happy that she didn't have to deal with the voice every moment of every day, she was absolutely positive that she would go crazy if she had to.

"You know something," Keira spoke, completely and utterly thankful that Adria had asked her to join her and Sirius after classes, she hated the thought of having no one, but for a while, she didn't.

Adria had introduced her to all of her friends, and every single one of them had welcomed her with open arms, making her feel so much happier with her life without her ex best friend, she felt as though she finally belonged somewhere.

It was a perfect feeling, and she never wanted to feel anything less.

"Hmm?" asked Adria, turning to face the girl with a smile on her lips.

"You two are just the cutest couple, I swear," she chuckled, running a hand through her hair, "you're like those couples from movies who just love each other so much, it's entirely adorable!"

"You think?" asked Adria, snuggling closer to a laughing Sirius, the grins wide on both of their faces, "I mean we try our best."

"Oh yeah," Sirius nodded, watching Keira smile with amusement, "we practice our cuteness every night, you see."

"Yeah?" asked Keira, unable to help her giggles as she shook her head, "you two are just perfect for each other."

"Well he's alright," Adria teased, "maybe a bit of a weirdo but nothing I can't handle."