Drarry Oneshots

Headcanons

Headcanon: The only time Harry ever swears is during sex, and one day he hurts himself and swears, accidentally turning Draco on with sensory memory.

- It isn't that Draco isn't used to Harry swearing, it's just that he's used to Harry's swearing being in the bedroom

-so when they're eating breakfast with the Gryffindors and Harry burns himself with coffee, shouting "FUCK" at the top of his lungs, yeah, it's a little bit of a shock

-and a turn on

-it's not like Draco is trying to be turned on by it, it's just that he's so used to Harry swearing while fucking him, that he instantly feels himself getting hard

-so he nudges harry, trying to catch his attention while the other boy tends to his burn

-"are you okay?" he asks, turning harry's attention to him. harry nods

-"just hurts a little"

-"aw, lemme see it," draco says softly, taking harry's injured hand. when he's sure no one else it looking, he casually drops harry's hand in his lap so he can feel how turned on he is

-and harry makes some stupid excuse about not feeling well, and drags draco away to fuck him

-and harry cusses a lot more in public after that, just to see draco's reaction

Headcanon:  credit to synonym-for-life on tumblr

If Harry ever set up a muggle dating profile, his description would say: Anyone who's interested message me by replying to this question: If you ever met a very famous person, what would you say to them?

And after getting numerous boring responses he'd get this one:

I do know a very famous person and he's an asshole. So, I'd probably say 'Hey, asshole.'

And Harry thinks, this, this is it. This is the kind of man he needs. So he sets up a date with this guy and it turns out to be Draco.

Upon seeing each other they just groan defeatedly.

how tf did they not know

Headcanon: credit to cirxe on tumblr

breakfast at the slytherin table going smoothly enough until someone casually says to their mate, "did you know potter's into dudes?"

draco malfoy chokes on his toast, climbs onto the table, crawls across it, grabs the poor slytherin by the collar and says "details right now, motherfucker"

Headcanon: credit to a-nerds-noctuary on tumblr

I live for the headcanon that somebody (I'll leave you to decide who) cursed all of Harry's classmates so they're in love with him for the day

And then he bumps into Draco and he thinks oh god this is going to be so weird

And Draco just acts like Draco, smirking and sneering "Potter"

Harry is confused and tells a recovering (and embarrassed) Hermione about it the next day

And Hermione just stares at Harry, and then gets up and leaves.

Headcanon: credit to chanqlix on tumblr

okay but imagine harry making a group chat for his friends from hogwarts just because and draco is there too but he literally never talks because he's all like "that's a muggle thing phew" but really he didn't know how to use that

AND the first time that draco actually talks in the group chat is to send a video of harry who stubbed his toe on a table and is lying on the floor curled up into a ball screaming "I DIDN'T KILL VOLDEMORT FOR THIS"

and then the camera switches to draco's bored face and with the most monotone voice ever he says "the boy who lived twice" and he's holding a clock that shows 4:27am