Drarry Oneshots

LGBTQ BITCHES

its time we had some motherfucking diversity up in this bitch i write too much shit that's just gay and white and cis and i don't really expand much so here i am cramming a bunch of shit in a chapter because diversity is fucking important and everyone needs to know that they're fucking valid. thank you for coming to my ted talk.

Draco Malfoy is one gay ass motherfucker.

This, we know. We been knew.

No one puts that much effort into their hair and isn't a gay bitch.

He's a white ass French ass blonde ass cisgender-but-will-totally-rock-heels gay ass bitch.

"Pansy, look at Harry one more time. I fucking dare you."

Moving on.

Pansy. Sweet sweet bitchass Pansy. 

Tell me her bitchass isn't pansexual, that she doesn't make constant jokes about the relation to her name, that she won't see Harry and fan herself one moment before seeing Hermione the next and almost fall over. 

Tell me.

 You can't.

 Because it's the truth.

 She's French too, tell me she's fucking not fucking fight me. Tell me her and Draco don't have conversations in French in front of everyone else to piss them off.

"WhY iS eVerYone hOT???"

Blaise.

My bitch Blaise.

Oh, boy, Blaise you broke every fucking stereotype my gay ass could come up with.

My baby Blaise is black and fucking proud of it. He's genderfluid and he owns that shit. He's demiromantic and the literal fucking second he met Neville Longbottom his gay heart nearly fucking exploded. He is every inch of the LGBTQ+ community and more and try and fucking convince me otherwise.

"Slut me the fuck up, sis. Don't give me that look, Neville."

Sweet fucking jesus it's time for Seamus (yes that was intended to sort-of rhyme)

Seamus is a fucking drag queen and you will NOT convince me otherwise.

He's also beyond gay for Dean, but we been knew.

White, obviously, he's an irish bitch.

If you ask him if he's a boy or a girl, he'll reply with "i'm a bad bitch you can't kill me" and leave you to figure out what the fuck that means

"Gender is a social construct"

Deanie weanie slumdog meanie

I literally have no fucking idea what that meant yikes

Anyways

Dean is a slut for boys, but girls are cute too.

Bisexual lookinass

Black ofc, and who even knows what he identifies as

He greatly enjoys making up new and more complicated pronouns to go by until someone fucking realizes he doesn't care if he's referred to as a boy or a girl. 

His favorite thing to do is convince wizards that his gender identity is various Muggle things they've never heard of.

"Excuse me??? I sexually identify as a Pop Tart, and this offends me. My pronouns are not him/he, they are schleei, shleww!"

Neville, my gay ass bean Neville.

He had a sexual identity crisis for four minutes before he met Blaise Zabini and knew his ass was fuckin gAY

He's cisgender, and white, but don't let that fool you, he is the biggest fucking feminist you've ever met if you fucking dare catcall any girl he will slit your fucking throat (assuming Hermione Granger doesn't get there first)

"I'm sorry, Smith, I could have sworn you just called Parvati a slut. Do you want to die? DO YOU WANT TO DIE??!!?!?"

Luna Lovegood.

Sis, she's pan. She's white. She's genderfluid. She's got it all, sis. Moving on.

"If I had the choice, I'd probably fuck Draco, marry Draco and kill Draco."

*choking* "Luna, I'm right here! You know, your girlfriend!"

Ginny Weasley.

Her ass is so fucking lesbian don't fucking convince me otherwise she also floats between male and female pronouns, and although she mostly sticks with female, if you call her a boy she won't correct you

"Harry is handsome, but I saw Astoria jumping up and down while wearing a tank top and remembered how fucking gay I am."

Astoria Greengrass.

Lesbian. Italian. Drag queen. End of discussion. Her, Luna, and Ginny have a poly relationship when I'm not busy writing Ginny and Astoria as bad characters.

"My nails can be this long because I'm a bottom, Smith. Don't make that face, you asked."

Charlie motherfucking Weasley 

Asexual.

Aromantic.

Done.

No arguments allowed.

Goodnight.

"Who needs romance when you have dragons????? Who's a good boy? You are!"

Ron, my bean, who I torture far too often into being the bad guy in my fics.

(Sorry ron)

He's a straight ally, (unless you've read hold my hand) and his ass will fucking  P R O T E C T anyone who feels unsafe or insecure.

He once dyed his hair pink for a month because Theodore Nott said it was a girly color

"Hermione, I want you to look in that fucking mirror right now and tell yourself you're beautiful because you are. I SEE YOU HARRY, YOU'RE NEXT, YOU BEAUTIFUL BASTARD!!!"

Hermione's gay ass. Let's talk.

One, Hermione is lightskin black and has the curly hair to prove it. It's fucking stunning.

Two, she can't even fucking look at Pansy without getting flustered

Three, she's got the book smarts, but god is she a hopeless lesbian. It took her and Pansy three months and one Harry James Potter to get them together.

Technically, she's pansexual, but she loves the phrase "i'm so gay" to ever admit to it. Besides, she's hopelessly in love with Pansy, so there's no one else for her.

She knows every LGBTQ+ term there is. Tell me she fucking doesn't. TELL ME SHE FUCKING DOESN'T

"Harry, pansexual is not being attracted to pans- holy shit, Pansy's ass looks good in those jeans."

Harry James Motherfucking Potter.

Bisexual. He had a crisis about it sixth year. We don't talk about it.

He is Indian. Fucking CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE

it makes sense??? his name, Hari, could have been whitewashed by his racist aunt and uncle??? racism along with hate for wizards could be why they hated him????? fight me?????

He identifies as male, but if you acknowledge him as something else he'll go with it

"Yeah, Parvati's pretty, but have you seen Draco in heels?"

thanks for reading buddies