Drarry Oneshots

Pure

WARNING: Despite the title, this chapter is the absolute furthest thing from pure. read at your own risk.

Harry was insanely bored, and it was perfect timing when Seamus bursted into the Common Room, parchment in his hand and grin on his face.

"Who's bored and wants to try something interesting!" he shouted brightly.

Everyone sat up, interested. Even Hermione pushed her book to the side.

"What is it?" Draco asked.

Seamus smirked. "A purity test."

There were many shouts at this, but Seamus just laughed, holding his hands up in defense. "Hey! You don't have to tell anyone your answers! You just check off every time one applies to you and at the end it tells you what percent pure you are."

There was more agreement this time, and Seamus passed out the parchment papers.

How was he going to do this without anyone finding out him and Draco were together?

"Your first question. Have you ever had sex of any kind?"

Neville huffed slightly and tossed his paper down. "I guess I'm 100% pure," he muttered, scowling. The others laughed.

"I can change that," Blaise murmured, wiggling his eyebrows at him. Neville turned red.

"Have you ever used a silencing charm during sex?"

Draco pulling him into a supply closet on the second floor, casting a quick Silencing charm and explaining that he planned to make Harry scream.

"Have you ever had sex on the Astronomy Tower?"

Breathless gasps as the wind whipped around them, both a little high off the adrenaline of being so high in the air.

Check.

"In your common room?"

Draco's wrists pinned down against plush red carpet as Harry kissed him passionately.

Check.

"In someone else's common room? In the Potions classroom? In a classroom?"

Check. Check. Check.

"On a teacher's desk?"

Snape would murder him on the spot if he knew how pretty Draco looked bent over his desk.

Check.

"In the Quidditch changing rooms?"

Draco falling to his knees, Harry feeling a little high off of the idea that anyone could come in and see them like this.

Check.

"Have you ever recieved an erotic letter?"

Lunch. The owl had swept over them, and Harry read the letter from Draco describing his plans for him later that night. Harry had blushed deeply and told Ron and Hermione it was just fan mail.

Check.

"Have you ever sent an erotic letter?"

Harry's hand shaking slightly as he pretended to write notes in class, instead telling Draco exactly how he wanted him when class was over.

Check.

"Have you ever had sex on a broom?"

That one had been uncomfortable and dangerous, but just as exhilerating as Quidditch. Harry couldn't fly on his broom without thinking about it now.

Check.

"Have you ever recieved a blowjob, or in the case of the ladies, been eaten out?"

Draco's eyes looking up at Harry as he bobbed his head along Harry's length, Harry's hands tangled in his perfect blonde hair.

Check.

"Have you ever given a blowjob or ate someone out?"

Oh, that had been fun. Draco seemed unable to contain his moans, hands tightening and relaxing in Harry's hair, unsure of whether he wanted to pull it or release it.

Check.

"Have you ever fingered a girl or jerked off a boy?"

Draco's breath coming in short pants as Harry's hand moved faster, a breathless gasp of "Harry" on his lips before he came.

Check.

"Have you ever been fingered or jerked off?"

Oh, Harry had been both, and he wondered if he should count that as one point or two.

"Have you ever topped during sex?"

Most of the time, actually.

"Have you ever bottomed during sex?"

Less often, but just as pleasurable.

"Have you ever been tied up during sex? Have you ever tied someone up during? Have you ever worn a blindfold during sex? Have you ever been denied orgasm? Have you ever had names you call your partner or your partner calls you during sex? Have you ever had sadistic intent or experience? Have you ever had masochistic intent or experience?"

The questions continued, one after another, and Harry found there were very few he couldn't check off.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, Seamus stopped with a grin. "Alright, I've asked you a hundred sex-related questions. You have made a check every time one applied to you. Now you will add up your checks, and subract that number from one hundred. That is the percentage pure you are."

Harry's face dropped slightly as he realized the percentage he was given. There was no way he could slide by with that.

"84%?!" Ron shrieked. "God I'm innocent!"

"63," Dean said, smirking at Seamus.

"72," Hermione muttered, shrugging apologetically as Ron turned to stare at her.

"75," Blaise said, groaning. "I'm more innocent than Granger."

"What about you, Harry?" Seamus asked.

Harry shrugged, mumbling his score.

"What was that?" Seamus asked loudly.

"17," Harry muttered.

Various shouts ran through the room, loudest of all being Ron's "Harry!"

Harry turned bright red.

"Oh, you have to tell us the lucky girl, Harry!" Seamus said, grinning.

Harry shook his head immediately.

"You kinky motherfucker," Blaise said, grinning.

"Fine," Seamus grumbled. "What about you, Draco?"

Draco lifted his head, a wicked grin crossing his lips. His eyes caught Harry's briefly, before he spoke. 

"17."

Everyone in the room stilled.

"Wait a moment," Ron said, looking very pale. His eyes flicked between Harry and Draco.

"Why have we never tried tying each other up?" Harry said conversationally, turning to Draco. "We could have both had 15s and been sex gods."

Draco sighed. "My apologies. Let's go."

They both stood, turning to walk out of the room.

"Where are you going?" Seamus shouted.

Harry turned around, grinning. "To try about seventeen new things," he said, before Draco yanked him away.