Right Kind Of Wrong

the heart wants what it wants

The intruders have lived here for 2 mons now. And so far. I've had one amazing kiss, a thousand battles ,a few yelling matches and two very deep conversations. .which I'll explain now. So after the amazing kiss. The next week was pretty awkward. . To say the least. We didn't talk much at all 6 days of pure hell I call it. But I was,super busy with school work and house work and I had sissy a few nights so I didn't get much sleep. . I think by the next weekend I was exhausted! ! I put out word on social media that this weekend no one was to visit me. I was taking a social break. I will see all my besties Monday love yall. I told my sister I was not keeping sissy. That I had to get some rest. Really people! !! I'd had enough. On Friday I was walking the halls like a zombie.. so as I walked in the door of my very quiet house I just laid down on the couch and was out like a light. When I woke it was very dark in my house and outside. I felt confused. . U know u wake up some times and are like what day is it where am I what yr is this. Yes I was having that moment when I saw something move I jumped so hard I almost fell off the dam couch. Ugh. I needed my bed. .. Jason walked in and say. Hey sleepy head .. I told him he scared me. He said I'm sorry .. in the saddest voice. A voice that made me look him in the eyes. Those eyes are huge and deep brown. Sexy. They scare me too. He looked at me and said u look confused beautiful. .. in that same low deep voice the one that makes me feel things I haven't felt and didn't want to feel. And I guess on so many levels , I was confused !! Big time. Here my body is betraying me ... I don't want to ... want him. No way. That's trouble. Like TROUBLE .. but every single part of me was really really tuned in to this guy. Like really. I realize while I'm trying to sort out my issues in my head. We haven't broke eye contact. . And he's looking at me waiting. For?? So I say wait what . Did u say something. He laughs at me like really laughs. This deep Sexy wow. Don't ever make these sounds again .. he's looking at me again. It's 7pm. U should be ready for ur friends to come over. I surprised they aren't here... he's says .. looking at the door. I put the word out yesterday. . No one is to come see me this weekend. He now looks confused. And it's also Sexy. Dam stop this Melanie. Just chill out. ... why would u do that? He ask. .. as I stand to see if I can actually still function. . I say. Because isn't obvious I'm exhausted! !! I can't even comprehend a conversation. ... he laughs again. I walk to the kitchen I'm gonna need caffeine to continue this non comprehensive conversation. .. I pull a glass down ,dam near drop it .. and set it on the counter. I pour myself a glass of Pepsi. And sit down at the dinner table. Which is very clean as is the kitchen ... I look up and see jason headed toward me .... I think u are the smartest person I've ever met. And u know ur limits . I really respect that u need a break this weekend , I've cleaned the whole house. The towels are all washed and there is tea made. So if u wanna go to bed. It's OK. U look so sleepy. While he's saying this my eye lids are flickering. I guess I did look pretty out of it. Thank you so much jason. Really. I mean it. Thanks ... I say .. he just smiles that drop dead gorgeous smile and says no problem. U deserve a break. I sit back in the chair and take a very deep cleansing breath !! I feel my soul start to relax . I guess I didn't realize I was being that effected by him ... but if I'm being real honest with myself. This guy has major effects on all of me. Ughhhj I don't even like to admit that. Why is this happening. I mean do I not have enough on my plate. ITS FULL he is staring at me again. He's leaned up against the counter. Feet crossed .. hair slightly hanging off the side of his face. Wearing sweat pants dark gray. And a wife beater top ... he has a small thin silver necklace on. He's got on the whitest socks I've ever seen. Lol. Like seriously white. And come to think of it his wife beater tank top is super white too. Are they new ... who knows. I think I'm losing my mind. And i start to laugh. And to him it prolly seems out of the blue. .. but to me it's very funny. And I'm laughing really hard. With out a sound tho. So I'm certain I look retarded. But OK I'm losing it officially. .. tears run down my face , I'm laughing to hard. Over what? Oh I don't even know. Wow. He's seriously confused ... he arches one eye brow at me in a very wth? Is so funny way. It catches me off guard a lil and I stop laughing immediately. .. he says Melanie are u OK ? Yes! I'm fine. I promise. I'm good. Forgive me .I'm just so past tired. I think I should get a lot more sleep...