Right Kind Of Wrong

wth?

Two hours later the family had left and I got that kitchen clean spotless .. I was sitting outside having a Pepsi and cig when Jay arrived .. he walked up to me and said I'm sry I know u r mad at me. . I just look up at him . He kisses me twice .. I barely moved . He said where is everyone. . They left for the day. I'm cleaning there house .. he said can we go inside and talk .. I put my cig out and walk in the house .. we sit down on the couch and Jay says baby that night I came home late that's the day my mom died two yrs. Ago. I've been having a real hard time with it . I'd been drinking a lot in the past few days and I know u don't like that .. I'm just trying to deal with it. ..please try to understand. . I scoot over to him and hug him tight . He kisses my head a few times .. and says I'm sry .. I just hold him . Four days later I'd been out shopping with Andrea all day and we had lunch. She brought me home about 4pm when I walked threw the door I went straight to the back yard I heard all the guys out there laughing and talking so I knew Jay was out there. When i saw him he was laughing so hard .. he didn't even see me .. but i saw him and the joint in his hand .. HE FUCKIN Getting high ... I stood there till he noticed me .. he look like he'd swollowed a brick .. he came after me but I'd already took off to my room .. he says say something baby .. no! I have nothing left Jay. .nothing .. he sat down on the bed .. I was packing my clothes I took out all my favorite outfits it was time for me to have some fun. Seems it's the going rate now days . He said what are u doing . I'm leaving I scream ... where are u going .. ANY FUCKIN WHERE THEY DON'T NEED TO DO DRUGS !!! he says baby it was two hits.. it's nothing .THEN TWO NIGHTS WITH OUT ME WILL BE NOTHING. RIGHT. OR HEY MAYBE FOR FUCKIN EVER.. Melanie ur over reacting .. he said. Oh u fucked up now !! Yeah.. says the person who is strung out .. he laughed .. u think I'm strung out . I throw a shoe at his head almost got his ass. But even high he ducked just in time. .. he moved quick over to me and said Melanie stop. Baby please this isn't that big. Let's just talk. . I laugh out loud .. get the fuck a way from me ... I thought I made it super crystal clear that I would not be with any one on ANY drug .. you mr.rykard... have me fucked up .. he's just looking at me in shock I'm acting like this .. this is so deep rooted with me that it causes a major eruption inside when it happened. When I have all my stuff packed three bags full. I go to walk out my room and Jay grabs my arm ..he says very calmly Melanie if u walk out that door we will both make major mistakes .. I say let go of me .in the meanest darkest way I could manage . He says I'm serious Melanie let's just settle down and talk .. it's nothing. . I snatched my arm out if his hand and told him . You should have thought of that ..before u threw away my trust .. I slam the door open so hard I put a hole in the wall .. I went to Andreas car and threw my bags in ..let's go .. she pulled out the drive way ..and said where are we going . Take me to zare house .. three hours later me and zare are out by the pool having a Pina coloda .. or three .Jen and Bridget are walking threw the gate with those same guys from the other night .. Matt. Oh hell. No u lookin like my next mistake! ! I came out the pool and he was all eyes .. I went straight to him. Feeling a Lil tipsy and brave . I hug him . He says thanks I wanted to get all wet .. but he's laughing, I could wrap u in a towel this time . I say. .. he says sounds good and grab me and we both went in the pool .. I come up trying to hold my top that came undone. He came up wiping his eyes and sees my dilemma. . He say oh shit .. I'm so sry Melanie . I'm thinking he remembered my name. . He says I'll help you .. I say no .. and splash him .. he splash me right back.. but comes over to me .. hey trust me I won't do anything . I'll just tye it back .. I give him the look, he says come on I haven't done anything to make you not trust me.....