Right Kind Of Wrong

you took my happy place

Jay stands up and walks up to me he says Melanie I love you so much , but I think you have changed and not for the better. You were perfect when I moved in with you . U had a plan and you knew exactly who you were and where u wanted to go .. I know I have clouded ur vision on every thing. I don't like that fact .. and I've hurt you enough .. I don't wanna hurt you baby . He reaches up and touches my hair I'm looking at the ground .. he steps a Lil closer I can feel how warm he is and he's not even touching me. Just my hair . I sniffle and he says don't cry anymore baby. I cry harder .. he says Melanie what if we both take a step back and rethink all this .. you can't be happy if u feel in ur heart that ur going against everything uve always believed. . You have to be true to who u are .. he's whispering and he's rubbing my hair. .. I look up and ask are you breaking up with me again ? ... he says I need you to be you . That's who I fell in love with .. he says .. ARE YOU ? I ask he puts his head to mine. Forehead to forehead .. baby I love you. He says . I say I love you too. My voice sounds like something I've never heard .. I feel so fucking broken !! He's leaving me again ...I step back .I have to move the feeling is over whelming ... I walk to the wooded area where we made love .. I sit Down . I'm sobbing . He sits down behind me wraps his arms around my waist and holds me tight . I'm so broken .. why did I ever tell him that shit. Jay is in my ear .. he says baby I just can't let u feel like your going against ur dreams .. I can't be the one . I want the very best for you . I want to be the one you see as the man of ur dreams. I saw us being together for ever . But I didn't know u felt like that . I didn't know you saw me in that light .. I really thought I was doing what you needed me to do .. but you said I lost ur respect ..over something u didn't even see .. I'm crying holding my face in my hands . I can feel my eyes swelling . I'm tired . I pull the toilet paper roll out my purse and wipe my face. . I take out my drink . And my cigs . I light up and drink down. I stand up and tell him come on. I walk to the merry-go-round. And sit down. He stand in front of me I look up at him and say you knew you wanted it to be over before today right. U just had to find a reason ..right ? I ask he say no ! Melanie he puts both hands on his head ... he looks so stressed out .. he says I'm in love with you dammit !!!! I'm trying to be who u want me to be . Just who do u think i want you to be ??? Someone worthy of you . He walks away . Jay ? He is a few feet away looking up to the sky .. what does that mean ? I ask he says Melanie as he turns to me. I want to be a man. A man who you think of as good enough for u .. I've failed a few times I'm human . But I've been giving you my all !! Can't you see I worship you .. lik
e every other person that meets you. You have it. People fall for you hard . But no one will ever live up to ur high standards .. you want people to be perfect .. I give u it .ur perfect !! I scream I'm not perfect take me off the dam pedistool . He says I don't have you on no dam pedistool. . I've had you on a fucking throne! ! I've been so scared I wouldn't be enough .. till today when you finally saw me as the one who could fuck up just like every other human huh . Look at that Jay I'm normal . Take me off the fucking throne !! I don't belong there .. I just want to be treated the same as I treat you. .. with respect. Respect my dreams and my time .. he walks up to me and says I do .. in turn around I can't look at him .. he says Melanie I don't know what to do here ? Just please tell me .. I turn to face him and say what do you want to happen here . Do u want to leave me again. ? I'm looking him straight in the eyes .. he says I don't want to be less then u deserve . I don't want you to be with me if u don't respect me. Or believe in me .. and most of all trust me .. please . Leave me if you don't have those ..