Right Kind Of Wrong

my party must go on

Jay looks at me and says I'm not gonna lie to you ,we made a promise to never lie to each other no matter what and I'm gonna stick to that .. but I'm not gonna talk about any of it now. You deserve to have this night with all ur friends . Not in here holding ice to ur hand. I throw the ice on the floor and say ur right . But as long as I'm with you there will never be easy days!!! I've cried more tears in the past year .then I did my whole life .. and if you hadn't of fucked her a few weeks ago u would have told me straight up .. but now u want me to go have fun ,knowing u lied and fucked her !!! Right jay let me just go have fun. I pour myself another stiff drink and walk towards the door ,jay grabs me and says baby please don't do this. I'm sry she came here but don't let this ruin ur night .and don't get so drunk u don't remember this night. . He's holding me tight around my waist .. he's right next to my ear and I wanna punch him too... he's says come to our bedroom with me for a minute please , please baby .. I turn around and walk towards our bedroom . He pushes me up against the wall and kisses me so softly and says I love you so much baby . I'm seriously allowing this to happen , how drunk am I ? I must be .because I would never let this happen. . I would have told him to fuck off by now . He's holding me at my hip and the other hand is on the wall .. he's saying baby please let's just have fun tonight with all ur friends and family. I wanted this to be perfect for u . I gave it my all .. I lean my head back .and he kisses my throat. . I say in a very calm voice ..jay just tell me did u fuck her a few weeks ago . Just answer me please .. he says yes .. I just fell apart . I'm in pain . He's still holding my hip . I try to walk away but he holds me there . I look down at the floor and say we'll I lied too. He says what? I don't answer .. this will be the worst moment of my life .. Melanie what do u mean ?jay ask .. I say u slept with her, my voice just cracked I'm gonna cry .. and I slept with him .I say tears run down my face .. he says him who ? I can't talk . I'm in pain .this hurts. .. he says answer me . Matt. I slept with Matt 5 weeks ago. Jay drops his head and says OK .. we can deal with this later let's get back to ur party .. I'm in shock I guess I thought he'd leave or pack his shit or beat my ass . But he seems to be too calm . Too calm ! Why? I say jay wait . Please tell me what ur thinking. . He says baby I love you too much to walk away .but like I said I wanna get you back to ur party . We can talk tomorrow. I agree. So we return to the party ..we dance and sing and laugh so hard . They are calling me rocky. . And a few reenactments have been done ... jay is sitting at the table just staring at the ground .. he looks so beyond lost ..it scares me . So I walk over to him ,we haven't talked in about two hours . I ran off with my friends and we have made a great night of this .. as I walk up to jay he looks up in my eyes and he tried to smile .. but his face wouldn't have it .. he looks like he lost his best friend and his dog ..i sit in his lap and hug him to me . I'm mad as hell that he was with her and lied .. but it did my wrongs too and right now I know for sure two wrongs do not make it right ..but I need him to know I love him .. i hug him tight and whisper in his ear I still love you .. he hugs me to him and says u shouldn't tho .. u should hate me . I hate me for all I've done to u ... I say I don't .and I'd not perfect .. he looks at me as tho I'm not even human .. I wanted to cry .. when everyone left that morning some where around 4am .. I'm tired and so over this day . I crawl in my bed and am out .. I wake up 6 hours later and Rick is handing out his hang over cure cups .. I drink the whole thing down and grab some headache tabs.