Right Kind Of Wrong

I'm not kidding

When Andrea comes back she is wiping tears off her face and snot from her nose with tissue. She says please go on I haven't laugh this hard in a while. Andrea I'm not kidding please explain this to me. I've never been like .. well ... this !!! There has never been any person ever make me act like a dam loon .. he walks past me in the kitchen and the smell of him makes the sprinkler system finally figure out what it's use is. She's now confused. Ppssshhhhh. U know I get wet. .. omg I can't believe I've just admitted that out loud and I'm so embarrassed I just said those words .. my face is blood red and I'm doubled over laughing. She is too. We are being so loud. Good thing we are home alone. Andrea did I just say that? I can't breath we are laughing so hard. No let's never speak of the sprinkler system again. She has set down in the chair at the dining table. And is motioning for me to keep going. I'm serious, I thought I was sick I've never had hormonal reactions to a boy before. But I was certain if I was sick I wasn't telling anyone. I don't want a cure . I like this illness. Makes my tummy feel tight. .. Andrea is hyperventilating! ! And waving for me to stop. OK OK. But on a serious note. Hear me. So two nights ago he kissed me several times. And it was like being on magic mountain. The ride in Disney world. OK stick with me. But then last night he said some smart as comment and I went all bad bitch on him. Well this morning I started my dam period and kinda figured out why I wanna throat punch him more then jump back on the roller-coaster. .. omg this is why ur freaking losing it. It's ur cycle .. it makes us crazy. . No. Andrea. I'm certain I need a pretty pink straight jacket with sequence! ! I wanna rock back and forth and scream alanis Morrisset songs .. Andrea can't breath again. She's now making sounds of a hyena and clapping like a seal. And I can't contain my fits of laughter .. we are both drowning in tears. OK we straight up .. I start making another glass of tea and ask her if she wants one. She says yes my sides her !! Awww boo Thang . Ur welcome. Thanks she says. .. so what do I do really. I yelled at him !! On the for real .. Melanie just be nice to him. H will get past it. Right he was so mad when he left today. Or just really over my shit. He just said I'll be back and left. I can't very well tell him oh I'm sry the sea creature from the red lagoon is in town. I'll be back to normal in 5-7 days. She is seal clapping again. I hand her her tea but then decide if I don't wanna mop I should just set it down. .. I light a cig. And she does to. Mel I'm at a lose here. I think he likes u. But u are ur mothers daughter so if he don't have balls of steal he will not be able to handle u !! I smile. Andrea I don't wanna be her. Good luck she says. I have to get . It's been so much fun. She sucks down her tea ,grabs her purse and walks toward the door. Hugs me and says thanks for keeping my monster last night. Bye , bye , Jay is walking up the drive way as Andrea is leaving. . He's holding like 30 bags of groceries. .. wth? He go's to the kitchen table and sets them down. I'm not sure if I should talk to him. He opened the bag and tossed me a candy bar the size of a football. And gives me the look of I know ... I die !! I turn beat red . Hide my face and walk away. He chases me down. And wraps his arms around me ... how did u know. . ? I ask.. he says I didn't but that was gonna go one of two ways .. u were gonna react the way u did or u was gonna look at me very confused. .. oh ...ur reaction was priceless tho. He's still holding me ,his arms around me from behind. My arms penned down. I can't move. He whispers I've lived here three mons now and I've seen u in kick ass mode three times. It didn't take a genius. . Beside he says as he turns me around. I had a gf. Or two before. I'm not new to the rodeo .. I can't look at him this is the most embarrassing thing I've ever had to endure !!! He touches my face .. ur face is on fire.. he's smiling so hard. And kinda laughing at me. ... I can't !! He takes my hand and says come on help me put away this food .. why did u go grocery shopping. I ask....