Right Kind Of Wrong

how

Everything thing is in clear focus now .. I'm in shock that I got played .I'm mad that our love making is yet another lesson learned .I'm getting an A in this course for certain. I completely understand. Jay says please don't hate me .. uve been so mad at me tonight ,you fight me so hard .when all I want is to show you things you refuse to see on ur own .. ur smart Melanie , u are but u hide from the things u don't want to see or feel .. I want you to be respected, loved,admired, the way I see u. The way I feel about you ..but when u act or dress a certain way .that's how they will see you . No matter who u really are .. please baby be the girl I met a yr ago and keep her in ur heart . That's the real you.. I know sense we been together you have grown up and you like being Seen as sexy and beautiful. But what you don't know is a yr ago when we met ,you were sexy and beautiful. You being a virgin and not knowing this side was u being perfect untouched .. you were so proud of you ,you knew exactly who u were .. I was in such awe of u .. I still am .. I just don't want you to lose that ... I see you worried more about how u look ,and if people find u attractive, then how they feel about who u are .. that's not you .. please baby ur personality is way more important. Ur character. And I've always loved who u are .. don't lose that . Please .. I've laid here and listen to every word . He's right .and I love him for being this person . He says baby girl please touch me I'm dying this has been the worst night and I need to feel ur touch I need to know we are OK and that you see all this came from a good place ... I'm exhausted! I keep thinking I could run for weeks none stop and never ever feel the way one emotional night with Jay makes me feel .. he drains me . I roll to my side and slowly place my hands on his chest .. I lay my face on his chest between my hands and breath . Just breath .. I've calm down and I need to just hold him .. he says I love you . I say I love you too. I fall a sleep .. when I wake up Jay isn't in bed .. I roll over feeling like I've slept for days .. I glance at the clock .it's 1:00 I leap up . Omg .. I was pose to go shopping with Tammie at 1:pm .. oh shit ! I look for my phone ..what did I do with my phone . I grab my purse and am frantically going threw it .. when Jay walks in the room he sees me having this moment . He smiles ..I can't find my phone I say .he says I know . I look up like I will kill u !! Where is my phone Jay ..he says oh you won't find it . But I did text Tam and let her know kw h couldn't make it today mom is having a moment. . I Sounded Really Convincing .. hes Eating Cereal And Smiling Too Hard .. I Furious! !! Give me my phone Jay . She's my best friend . I need to talk to her . He said it's just a shopping trip . It's OK for u to miss one .. stop trippin he says . OK I'm gonna keep my cool ,im gonna get a shower get dressed ,FIND MY PHONE AND NEVER FUCK WITH HIM AGAIN !!!!! But first I have to pee .. I go to the bathroom ,I look in the mirror after I pee.. I look horrible! I swear these nights with Jay .... ugh. I make myself calm down don't let him win today !!! Besides his dad will be home at some point OH SHIT THEY WILL NOT BE HOME TILL MIDNIGHT FUCK ME !!! I walk to the kitchen and realize I'm naked ... wth? I need clothes .. no wait I can use this ... I take my Frappuccino out the frig and drink it .. Jay slowly walks in the kitchen and puts his bowl in the sink . Takes a bottled water out the frig and opened it .. he says so I guess I got my wish ,ur gonna walk around naked ... I love it . He smiles .. I haven't even looked at him. I walk right past him go to my room and take out my clothes for the day