Right Kind Of Wrong

it's getting some what better

Jason and I have come to some kinda road.. I'm not real sure what that road is but. Well.... we have these conversation / debate / battles .. they are funny. And most of the time I win .. who ever loses has to do the dishes or clean the bathroom. So believe me I try really hard to win. Watching him clean is kinda hot. Lol. He's kinda sorta growing on me. There I've said it OK. He's gorgeous! And funny !! And sexy !!! Really really sexy. Like omg if this guy walks out his room one more time with out a shirt. It might get down right dangerous up in here ... well. On that note. Today was just like all the other days ..or so I thought. It's Friday I'm home from school. I'm cleaning house when jason walks in the front door. He looks mad! So I don't say anything. He says hey . I say hey finally finding my voice. He's walks on past me to his room. So I turn the music up. And finish cleaning the kitchen. It's like 4pm. And I know my friends will be here soon. So I have to get a shower and get all dolled up. Lol. Tammie arrives first of course . We go get a shower and start doing our hair and make up. Picking out clothes. I tell Tam. I've got a bunch of new clothes she can look threw. My sister has a rich friend who is my size. She gives me bags of clothes all the time. Sad .but only way I'm getting clothes. Mom don't shop ever. But the things in the bag this time are a lil sexy.. not really me.. and not anything my mother would approve of. But I'm 16 now and I have very large breast ... so I wanna feel good about myself and I wanna tempt that boy .... OK. I know it's wrong and I don't need to be like that. But I wanna know does he see me. Like that. So far ..well he don't seem too. So tonight it's tight jeans very low cut top and awesome makeup. I hate having big breast !!! I've always tried so hard to hide them. But tonight let's see if I can use them to help me out. I'm not this person I swear !! But well ... OK so it's like 6 pm and we look amazing. So we walk out my room like the queen bitches we are. And there's not one person in the house. Sad face ... so Tam and I turn up the music and pour our selves a drink . Tonight we are gonna have fun. Mins. Later all our friends start showing up. We all go to the back yard. And dance and hang out drink. I was talking to some guys when I noticed out the corner of my eye jason is talking to a girl. A girl I don't even know .why is she at my house ? Who is this trick .. I'm cool. I'm OK. This is fine. And my song comes on the radio. So I grab Tam and we start to dance. Everyone joins in .. we are having a blast. And looking pretty hot .. then I feel someone put there hand on my hip. Oh no u don't. I'm so not the one to touch. My friends know this. So who ? As I turn to see who it is. I come face to face with none other then my ex. Wait what ? He's got his hand on my hip and before I can even react , jason comes up to me and says it's my turn. Takes my hand and walks me further out in the yard. Mostly away from the crowd. I'm a lil taken back by what all happen so fast. As jason pulls me into his arms. He whispered. . I thought ud need a min. To decide if that was a good idea. I can't think with this boy this dam close to me whispering in my ear... my ex touched  my hip and I was not even bothered in the least .. this boy has both of his hands on my arms. And is just leaned in enough to whisper to the side of my head. And I feel faint .. ish. This is crazy!! Just stupid. .I've never been this effected by anyone. Ever. I'm always in control of my feelings. Always. I'm getting a lil mad. At myself. I'm not like this. Here I am wearing clothes I don't wear. Acting in ways I don't act. And getting really over heated .. over a guy that is two yrs older then me. And for some odd reason has never even looked at me in any way at all. OK now I gotta get myself together. Life is not fair!!!! I walk away from jason and go straight into the house straight to my room and shut the door. Sit down at my vanity and look myself straight in the eye. What are you doing ?? No more! Back reality !! So it's getting late guys yall gotta get. Love ya but bye bye now. .... everyone leaves. Well except a few good close friends that mom won't mind being here. We all go inside ... sitting down on the couch. Laughing talking. Tammie and I didnt have a seat tho. So we lay down on the floor with the pillows from the couch. I'm on my belly laying on the floor. Talking to all my friends when Tammie jumps up go's the frig and grabs a glass bottle .. comes back lays next to me on belly propped up on her pillow as well a says who wants to play spin the bottle. I laugh. Tammie we are not in middle school. She laughs .. two of the guys say hell ya.. OK there is 6 guys. And 4 girls. I'm like OK. Let's do this. ..lol.