Right Kind Of Wrong

mother nature hates me more then my mom

As we are taking things out the bag ,he says. Oh because I went to check on my grandfather and he wanted to get out the house. He loves to buy food. It makes him feel as tho he is taking care of me. Jay shrugs his shoulders ,who am I to turn down food. He says with a smile. I laugh you consume more then anyone I've ever seen !! I say . He looks me in the eye and says what can I say I like to eat ..then winks at me I die ! No he didn't .. I immediately look at the floor. He steps closer to me and whispers ur way to easy. .. what's that mean I ask .. u. U get so embarrassed so easy. Ur face turns so red and I can see u dying a little every time I say something sexual .. OK .but I'm not easy .... not at all. He says . I look offended. But I'm not really. I'm Uber proud of myself for not being another town whore... hell I'm commonly referred to as the Virgin. He looks at me and ask just how much effort is it gonna take really. With this look on his face that's says come on really. .. like as not to believe it would take as much as I want people to believe. . I raise my eye brow at him like why u doubt me. The food is put away the table is clear now. I sit down . Lift my glass and drink my tea. He sits down too. He is looking at me now. He removes his hoodie but leaves that dam beanie on. Ugh. I hate that thing. . Oh lord is the sea creature back I think .. and start laughing. He looks at me with his question face. Nothing .. his face hasn't changed. So I say it again. Nothing ! He whispers OK .. I say stop! I say it kinda forceful tho. What ? He ask. That whisper thing u do .... just don't. .. why does it set off the sprinkler system..he ask with a completely straight face that quickly turns to laughing uncontrollably. . I DIE !! head on the table I can't !!!! He just said that to me. Wait how ? He Says I was in the back right outside this door. ... I heard it all. I was putting the dog food in the box . I heard yall .. I've been here the whole time. I pulled up right after she did. I'm surprised she didn't see me ,maybe she did. . He says. I'm screaming OMG OMG OMG. in my head !!! I can't lift my head off the table. I refuse to look up at him. I will never be able to face him again. I think my face might melt off ... he says psshhhhhh ... and laughs like Andrea was. .. I'm dead. I'll never ever say my thoughts out loud ever again. He says I was afraid yall might here me I was laughing hard... I say I bet. He says ur fucking hilarious! ! I love it. . Thanks for the compliments. I'm unable to even remember what all I said. . My brain is on fire from my face that I'm certain has turn to purple at this point. He walks around the table and is standing over me . He says wow ur ears are glowing red in his whispered voice. I'm gonna die. Please stop. I cry these words , he says OK I'll stop. I hear someone at the door . TAMMIE !!! I've never in my whole entire life been so happy to see another person. I look up and she is looking at me like ummmm. She says u broke her !! Really loud ! I put my head back down on the table. I'm laughing so hard but with no sound at all but I'm shaking like a dam tickle me elmo. So it's very apparent that I'm either having a seizure or laughing. . Mel are u OK. Tam says. I can't even I just run to my room. She of course follows me and is now laughing because I am. OK I've never seen u like this. She says. My door is open so he can hear us. .. I look at my BFF. And tell her I'm dying. Help me. She laughs even harder. .. I explain all that has happen to my friend who's face is beyond shocked. Mel I'm dying for u. U poor Thang ... yep. I say. She is laughing so hard her face is redder then mine. .. I tell my boo Thang we have to straighten up and get on with our lives. She says wait give another 5 mins. Please. !! Her hyena laugh is full on. Almost sounds like monkeys mating. .. we get it together , walk in the kitchen. I have to prepare a meal for mr.peeping Tom looking ass. I choose to make some ravioli from scratch. They will be spinach and cheese filled. With a mozzarella sauce. And sour dough rolls. Tammie is on her phone. She ask me can Joe come over ? Sure. I say.