Right Kind Of Wrong

the moment I left my childhood behind and became a young adult

As I felt myself coming back to reality and I could finally feel my legs again. I look up and see Jason looking at me with his question face on .. I'm not at all sure what that question is. And not even sure if I'm able to speak yet .. so I look at him waiting to be asked .. he says you wanna go back to ur party now. And opens the door. I feel as tho I've been used and now I'm being put out !!! This makes me mad. I walk back to my room 4 steps away .. and shut the door behind me. And lean on the back of the door now holding my face which is hot to the touch. Wow I got really mad really quick. I'm so confused what was that all about ???? I go over to the mirror and stare at my face , I'm pale and my lip gloss is gone. First things first fix that lip gloss can't let anyone know what just took place. Did anyone see him pull me in his room ? Did that even just happen. Yes it did .cuz I still need to pee!!!! Let's try this again. I walk out my room and straight into the bathroom three mins later I'm outside thankful for this cold air. I look at the clock it's now 11:11 make a wish. .. please let him kiss me like that again. And I blow my wish up in the air. As I do Tam and Tosha have found me and are looking at me like I grown two heads. OK what ladies. They know. They saw. They know and now they want details. What?? They ask . Where have u been ?? In that sing sing voice that says ur lip gloss has told on u. I touch my lips. Tam looks at me and ask again. Where have u been my love. Ummm I was in the bathroom. Tosha being the loud mouth no filter type looks straight at me well sorta straight. She's lit. And says with who. . NO BODY!! umm I'm a good girl. Remember. They both bust out laughing !! Mel ur a lot if things but far far from a good girl. We know u have secrets and we can't be yr friends anymore if u don't confess !! As this statement is being spit at me from a seriously drunk friend. I laugh. Like really laugh and let out all the dam pent up teen anguish I've felt for weeks now. And we all stop. It's our song. .. spice girls , if u wanna be my lover. .. lol.. we start dancing and singing so loud. We are now jumping around and shaking our asses being silly carefree teens. I turn are round to grab another friend. And Jason is close .. like arms length close. I wasn't about to grab him. But I look to his left and see molly. I grab her and tell her to show me what she's working with. She laughs and starts doing this wiggle dance that makes us all burst into fits of laughter! !!! Ahhhhh the song ends and I feel 100 lbs lighter. Laughter is key. . I turn to walk up the steps and miss the bottom step completely! ! Jason catches me before I fall... I laugh so hard I have to sit down ..I finally get up the steps with Jason's help. He walks me to the chair over in the corner. He leans over me and whispers how much have u had to drink ??? I staighten up in the chair as to prove I'm straight. Nothing. I have not had a drink tonight. I promise. I say he looks like I've just lied to his face. .. I go to say his name but he's turning away from me. So all I get out is ja... ja. He turns and say it's ja ..now. do I finally get a nick name ..I mean u give all ya other friends nick names. Is that gonna be mine. Jay ?? I'd never even thought of any of this. I had been told before that I never call my friends by there names. I just come up with shorter ways. Like people call me Mel. Which I hate. Lol. But I wasn't calling him Jay. I was just not getting his full name out before it felt he was no longer hearing me. As his back was turned. But OK. Yeah. Whatever . Why does it seem like he's mad at me. Again. I always feel he's mad at me. But this train of thought has to be derailed for now. Because I hear my friends asking where is Mel ... I'm in here guys. Like 10 people come to get me. They drag me out to my back yard and tell me we are about to set off a lot of the fire works come watch ... I'm terrified of fire works. I was burned pretty bad as child with a fire work !!! Only two people on this planet know of the event and know that my fear is real. I'm standing there frozen in time as I watch these guys start to set up the fire works. I can't move. Why can't it move. .. two arms reach around me and turn me around. As I'm face down in this guy's jacket. I hear him say she can't .. she's terrified of fireworks he's is walking me back toward the house as the first major bomb is set off. . I flinch so hard and  duck down. He literally lifts me in his arms and carried me in my house. I'm shaking so bad