Right Kind Of Wrong

saying good bye or not ...

I stand up off Jays lap and look at him like he's lost his mind , Jay ? Look at me . I say. He looks up at me , you can't be with me tonight ? He looks like he wants to cry , I've never seen Jay this down .. it's breaking my heart . He says Melanie come here , I sit back on his lap , he says I can't do this . I can't wait for 8 weeks . I can't . I stand again .. I ask Jay what are you saying ? He says as he stands up , baby I'm gonna Say it's over now. And I'm gonna leave ..JAY ? He says please let's just say bye now .. he walks toward the door. I grab him so fast ..Jay don't do this . He looks at the floor, Jay ? Are you breaking up with me for good. I ask .. yes . He whispered. . I just broke . Like broke . I haven't let go of him. Jay ? Look at me he turn half way and looked at my face , Jay your breaking up with me because I'm going to school . I say .. he says no I'm breaking up with you because I don't mean enough for u to stay. You don't love me . He grabs the door knob.. I push the door shut and lean against it. He looks down to the floor . Jay u can't really believe that .I say . He says you are going right ? Yes ! I am . He says move Melanie . I scream NO! He stops pulling the door . Jay I love you . I do . I walk up to him and wrap my arms around him , he says you don't love me like I love you. I couldn't go . And u are . I can't wait for you. He's almost whispered this .Jay we can do this. We can . It's 54 days . That's all . He puts his hands on either side of my head he pulls my face to his he kisses me a few times and says I have to go ..please don't fight me all night , Melanie I'm not gonna change ur mind and ur not gonna change mine . Let's just say bye now . I'm holding him so tight. He can't walk away or hell. He's gonna have to take me with him.. I say Jay are you really breaking up with for ever ? Yes . He says looking dead in my eyes and I die inside. Jay please don't do this I'm sobbing as he peels my arms off his . Jay stop , I grab him a few times . He puts his hands down and I've got him by his arms .. he says let go baby please . I'm sobbing so hard. Jay don't do this . He says Melanie I didn't do this !! You did . Jay I'm not breaking up with you . You are leaving me .. he looks in my eyes and grabs my arms and pushes me against the wall , stop ! Just stop ! I'm leaving you for good. You keep ur ass in Italy u hear me . I hope u find IT . Now stop touching me don't grab me again. He's mad .. really mad. Jay? He turns away and walks to the door . I run to the door and hold it . Jay don't do this please I'm begging you. If u walk out this room like this I won't be coming back to you. Don't do this we can fix this now . He looks at me like he's gonna hurt me for real if I don't move good he said NOW MOVE we are done .for ever . Don't speak to me ever again .. .. I move .. he walks out the door . I'm alone .. sitting on the floor sobbing . This is pain !!! And hurt !! And well over ... I heard my phone buzz in my purse I crawl across that floor so fast . I snatched my purse up and answer my phone .. it's Sam . He says u OK ? No , I say. He says come outside . I stand wobbly knees and rub. My eye and take my purse with me to Sam's car