Right Kind Of Wrong

confessions from a teen idiot

Jay says I told u ... fine! I say. I did it ,it was all my fault. The night u turned me down I was mad and he showed up late and I was heart broken and I took advantage of him. Jay is looking at the floor. He says details Melanie .. he came in the house I sat in the couch next to him.and he kissed me . I took his pants off and we did it. It didn't last 3 minutes and he left .. Jay says ok .. and he walks to the kitchen I'm terrified !! I don't know how he's gonna react .. but I sat there for like 10 mins.. waiting on him to come hurt me .. i walk down the hall in to our bedroom he's laying on his belly gripping his pillow Watching TV .. I sit down and say Jay ? He looks up at me .. I say Jay I'm sry I didn't want to tell u that . He says I asked . I say and ? He says and what ? So where does all this leave us ?he says I love you. We will be OK .. just give me some time .. I walk out the room I'm sitting on the couch watching some cooking show threw tears .. I'm so fucked up over this whole weekend. . It's been pure drama . The main thing I was trying to avoid . Makes me wanna hurt Shana even more. Maybe she did deserve that ... I've been on the couch for three hours I think I must have nodded off. Cuz when I wake Jay is lifting me off the couch. He says come here baby .. he carried me to bed .. I crawl on the bed and pull the blanket up on us. He's shut and locked the door he is beside me .. I turn to face him and I kiss him a few times. He kisses me back. And I start to rub his belly. When he realized where I was going he stop my hand and pulled me real close .but didn't make any moves .. I whisper I want you. . He says I know baby but I think we need some rest... I fly up out the bed I'm mad ..like beyond mad I fling that dam light on and scream at him. Wth? He looks so dam sulky his face couldn't look any longer .. Jay I never ever tell u no !! Even after knowing full well u had fucked that whore.. I still didn't say no .. he says Melanie stop screaming . I say FUCK YOU !!! And walk out the room . Where I walk smack dab into a house full of people, my whole family is here ..Jay walks in the dining room and says she does not like to be turn down and he laughs . And shakes his head .. he's trying to make me look stupid ! I stare at him with so much venom I think he should be dead by now . My sisters husband say that's a look that says I'll kill you . Dude you should be afraid . Dee says dam Jay that must be some really good .. she looks like that ! Jay says u know it.. and laughs. I'm gonna hurt him .. I say not always . They all go whaaaaaooooo . He says that's not what u said while convulseing in the shower last night . I say I was cold ! He say hearted maybe .. I say and I need is ur warm hug to thaw my frozen heart .. right ! He says no man is that warm ! My family is laughing and agreeing .. I walk up to him point at his package and say they all have one of those ... and I ain't in need of a heart tonight. I walk past him and go to my room .. I get dressed and grab my purse put all my stuff in it and walk to frig and take out my Frappuccino . I walk right out the front door but Jay grabs my arm . I say let go ! He says where are u going ? To find someone who can't say no .. he let's go of my arm and says ur good baby and ur gorgeous. But any man could say no after our conversation today . I promise u that .. I look at him ..so it's over ? No . Just not in the mood to jump ur bones tonight .. I'll hook u up again .. he laughs . He says come in the house . It's cold. I turn and walk down the side walk .. away from my house ..