Right Kind Of Wrong

the truth hurts

Jay says you really want me to tell u the number of ladies I've slept with ? .. he steps toward me. I look down in the bottom of the shower in the swirling water going down the drain and wish I could wash away with the soap bubbles . I say yes please . He says you promise you will still love me . I shake my head yes . He says look at me . I look up in his eyes and he says say it .. I love you Jay . I say . He looks like he wants to puke... you sure baby. ? He ask . Yes! Jay tell me . 39. I swollow hard. I look up at him .. are u telling the truth ? I Ask . He says I promise I'm telling you the truth . Looking in his face I know it's the truth . I feel sick . They say u sleep with every person ur partner slept with. I'm a whore of babalon !!!!!! I turn to face the water I need to close my eyes and say a big prayer. We need divine intervention! !! Jay says one was old . And there was one that was way too young for me . I knew it but I couldn't stop myself I had to have her. And I still do .. .. he kisses the back of my neck and says I need you so bad Melanie please don't leave me . I don't want us to break up again. I wanna fix this . We have both lied . We have both made mistakes. Can't we live for now . And make this perfect. I turn around and look at him I say you pick the one worth ur suffering. No one will ever be perfect u just pick the one you can't live with out no matter what. . The one you'd suffer for , for life .. I'll suffer Jay, just to have you . He looks hurt . Like I just ripped his heart out his chest and did the hula dance on it .. I pull him to me and he hugs me so tight . He says I promise to minimize the suffering as much as I can. .. when I'm dry and dressed I sit down at the mirror and Jay is walking around in his Towel still .. I look at him hard. He says what baby? He's looking at my face in the mirror. . I say ur just so gorgeous. I get it .. he looks confused .. they fall all over you . They hang on ur every word , I know this because I'm still that way .. granite I was way worse before we started hooking up . I was star struck ! So I know exactly why these girls lurk . And hope I'll drop off the planet.. you have "it" I say like he said to me .. ur just too sexy.. he walks up behind me and wraps his arms around me tight. He says it's just looks . I wanna be the kinda man u can trust , respect , love , and be loyal to. I feel those words in my soul. He's my everything . He kisses my cheek and walks away. I do Jay I say. He looks at me like I just lied . He puts his clothes on , today he's wearing jeans socks , a white t shirt , and a dark brown sweater , makes his very brown eyes pop . Wow . They are even bigger and more intense . Is that possible. Dam. He definitely has it .we wall in the living room and Keith is waiting I'm ready I announced. He laughs . I turn to Jay kiss him and tell him I'll be back later. . He shakes his head yes. . Keith and I climb in his very nice truck . It's huge I literally had to climb steps . We leave and I ask Keith so where are we headed .. he says what do u love to do ? I look at him .. I love to drink sb coffee and walk .. he pulls into sb.. and we order .. 10 Mins later we are getting out the truck and this place is like a fairy tale .. he says come on .. I Walk beside him and we start on this path I look up and all the trees are covered with snow and ice it's majestic. Frozen wonderland .. I can hear the ground Crack under our feet. . I look at Keith and tell him I've never in my whole life seen a more majestic place . It's really GORGEOUS he says u can never tell about this place it's our secret . I come here when I need to clear my head . It is magical. It works every time .. scouts honor I say to him. . We walk .. Keith says you can talk it won't disappear. . I smile . I start .. Keith I've been dating Jay ,Jason for almost two years and we have gotten so close . But we have had more bumps in the road then most .. our relationship was hard to begin with .. him and Rick moved in with mom and I .. my mom is different. She does things so different. I'm aloud to smoke and drink but sex .. well I wasn't to do that till I was 39 ...