Right Kind Of Wrong

safe haven

Jay calls me , Melanie don't leave ! Jay I'm going away for a few days. I need time away again ..he says no u don't , I'm serious just wait till I get home . No , Jay u made a fucking fool of me tonight . I'm good .. I hang up .. he calls me right back . I answer .what ? I scream . He says if u leave I'll find you and it will not be good , I'm not afraid to go back to jail .. he hangs up on me .. I have one place I can go that he knows nothing about and will not find me .. I just have to decide in the next few minutes if I can actually leave . Cuz it might be over if I do ..I walk to my room where my clothes are on my bed. I can just grab up these bags and be gone .. he won't find me .. what do I do ? What do I really want ? I wanted to kiss matt tonight if I'm real honest with my self .. but why ? Do I love Jay .. we have been having a great relationship for mons now . And I do love Jay I know this .. but why do I wanna be single . Like what is going on with me .. idk... I need space . I need to clear my head .. I grab my bag and head toward the door I walk back to the kitchen and grab a few drinks .I put them in my bag . I open the door and Jay is standing there , FUCK !!!! I wasn't sure how close he was .. zare house is 24 mins..from my house .. he made it in 10 .. dam .. I've got my bags on my arm and drink in hand . He says ur not leaving . Yes I. Am Jay .. he says how ..don't worry I got this ...I walk toward the door .. he says no u don't and grab my arm and kick the door shut . Awww hell naw !!! Have u lost ur dam mind? I scream at him .. he says maybe . In this evil voice . He sounds like he wants to hurt me . I think real quick don't make him hurt u .. just calm down .. I walk to my room knowing dam well I'm not gonna get away from him tonight well unless I get him to fall a sleep .. this plan could work. I put my bag down I throw my dirty clothes in the hamper , and put away my clean clothes ..i take the drinks back to the kitchen . I get a shower and put on my bed clothes . I make some coffee. Jay has followed me around he's not stupid . As I sit on the couch he walks in and says cane talk now . I say yeah . He says what happen tonight .. I say Jay u want to control me now .. I can't let u control me .. I've been overly controlled my whole life . I'm never gonna live like that ..I'm making my way for me so I don't have to answer to anyone ever again .. he says OK . I get that . But I was just saying uve gotten very comfortable with ur sexuality and u wear so little clothes now . I look at him . Was I pose to stay a child for ever ? I ask .. he says no . But I want u to keep the respect you've always had .. uve never needed to dress like that to get any man's attention. And because this all makes sense I say. Jay I completely get that . And I know what you mean .. but I'm young and I wanna live it up now while I can . I wanna be sexy .and I wanna dress like I'm 17 not 37... Jay says OK that's fine ..but I don't want anything to happen to u . Girls who dress like that get treated cheap .or disrespected or worse ... wow ..why does he always have to be RIGHT ? I know these things ! But I'll never put myself in a situation where I'm in danger I tell him . U were right there with me .. he says yes I was ... but what if I'm not there, and they remember hey she's the one we saw naked let's rape her .. .. OK Jay I get it . I just sit back in the chair I'm not facing him .. hey how is oh Emily these days she still handing out twot. Like Halloween candy? Jay laughs so hard . Full-on Darth Vader on a ventilater.... he says yes... I turn to him quick ..he says what she is .. she wanted us to get outta there .. her words .. I said I have a girl friend .. she went to go hit on a better prospect .. ... cool . I hope she finds just the right std .. .. Jay laughs .. Melanie Jay says ..if we are gonna be together we have to except that we are both gonna get hit on a lot .. it's how handle it that matters...