Right Kind Of Wrong

the after party from hell

45 mins later I'm human again .I feel way better but I know I have major clean up duty .. I look around an see my Balloons and streamers hanging down the walls ..cups every where . The cake is half eatin and a mess , much like my life right now. I walk around the house and see all the things I have to clean .. ugh. I'm pulling my hair up on top my head as I walk in the living room and see jay on the couch knocked out .. four of my girl friends stayed the night and slept in my bed so jay took the couch .. I'm staring at him thinking of all that went down last night . He opens his eyes and says come here with his sleepy morning drop dead sexy voice . My knees are weak .. I walk over to him and he pulls me on to him I lay there safe in his arms .. but feel so bad for my stupid confession! Why did I tell him that.. he says I love you .. I say I love you too. . But I know we need to talk . I tell jay I have to get most of this clean before my momster wakes .. I try to get up but he's holding pretty tight. .. he says please find away to forgive me and I'll forgive you I promise. .. I shake my head yeah.. he says we will talk later ? Yes .I reply .. after two hours of cleaning my friends decided they should get home. I thank them for helping me .. Tammie and I walk outside to assess the damage we both grumble at the party site . We laugh too. She grabs a trash bag and we get busy. She says hey Mel. What happen last night ? Are you and Jay gonna be OK ? I look at like she just leaped off a short peer head first .. Tam , I'm not so sure .I told him I slept with Matt. She says OMG? Yep I'll except my retard of the years award right now. .. she says Mel that's not even funny .. u know u punched her ..what do u think he's gonna do ? Idk Tam .I just don't know .. I'm so over the drama ! I just want it to stop . I want it all to stop . We did drama and tears all summer and now I'm just too tired to do that .. she says yes I know. We have gotten the yard clean ,we walk back in the house and I see jay has had a shower ..he's in sweat pants and a t shirt , socks . He looks so dam good and he's my comfort place .home ! But right now he has to hate me. And is prolly thinking about leaving again. .I'm so sad ..I take a shower and put on my leggings and tank tops . Socks . I'm in the kitchen making dinner and lemonade. . When jay walks in and says can we talk ..calmly ? I do not wanna fight Melanie .jay says firmly . We sit down at the the table which smells like lemon cleaner .and I make our plates ..he says baby I love you. We split up and I was mean to you and I ignored you . I did too many things to be mad at u for what you did . I'm not mad .he says but I'm hurt I'm not gonna lie It's killing me .I look down at the floor hurt jay is not something I wanna see .. he says Melanie I don't want this to break us up . I look up in his big beautiful eyes and see fear . He looks so scared. I just wanna hold him. I say jay I'm sry for lying to you .I just didn't wanna take the chance of us not getting back together .. and believe me I regret going that far with him. It was a huge mistake. And when u were with her we was split up .so u don't owe me any explanation. I'm hurt too. But I don't want us to break up over it now. . As a matter of fact I'm over it all and I don't wanna talk about it anymore. I know we will always argue. And fuss and fight. But we just got back together and I wanted this to be a good time for us . We can both be hurt and not like it . But can we just move on really ? I mean that . Jay says yes baby we can .. I want the same things u want . Can we please be together and trust each other jay says .. yes I reply .. I clean up dinner stuff and walk to the living room where jay is sitting in the recliner chair with my blanket . He looks so dam good. What is it today ? I'm not even sure but wow I'm so ready to jump him ..