Right Kind Of Wrong

she's my friend till the end

Tammie I've made the worst mistakes lately .. I'm so lost , I don't know what happen to me .. I broke up with Jay , I spent the night with. Matt , she looks at me bug eyed . No Tammie not like that . I just walked the mall with him and we went to dinner afterwards. . But I didn't get home til 1:30am .. and Jay and I got in a fight . But nothing happen between Matt and I . I promise ..nothing at all .. she says OK .. why did you break up with Jay . Tammie I need to be free to find me . I can't drag Jay into this mess .. I'm not being me right now . Jay deserves better then what I can give him right now .. I have to work and school. I don't have time to be on his leash right now . And I just can't answer where I am and what I'm doing every sec of the day .. I'm busy getting me where I wanna be .. and I can't fight about that job anymore . I have to keep that job . I have to pay for things .. Tammie I just need to step out of my normal character for a while .. she says OK . I'm here for you .. I love you for that Tam .. thank you. And please don't think I'm abandoning you. I tell her . But my life is about to get super busy . School work and now an intern ship at a restaurant. . She says don't do too much Mel .. take some time out to just be my amazing best friend.. Tammie I'm not amazing. . I stand up and look her straight in the eyes . Tammie I slept with him .. I turn away she will hate me .. she says who Melanie ? I'm crying so hard .. Tammie I just needed comfort . I didn't mean to use him. I used him and I can never be forgiven. . I'm so sick with me .. when I slow down just tad .. I look at her. She says who ?
SAM Tammie looks like I just slapped her face . Omg !! Omg !! She says .. yeah I walk away .. she says Melanie !! She not happy with me . Why would you do that .. ? I turn to her . I don't know !! I yell. I'm stupid .. she says Mel , that boy is in love with you and you don't want him that way .. you just ruined ur friendship! ! Melanie! !! Look at me ! I look up at her .. what were u thinking . I'm crying but she's making me mad.. Tammie !! I don't know .. I just broke up with Jay and few hours later I was in bed with Sam ... I'm not even sure . I sit down on the animal rocker toy thing. And cry . Tammie says wow Mel ..we sit for a while saying nothing . Tammie says how did it happen .. ? I tell her , I went to his house because I was crying to hard to drive .. he took me to his room I laid down on his bed and he just rubbed my back while I cried for a long time .. when I rolled over to hug him he kissed me and then before I knew it ,it was happening . She smiles and says is he good . We both laugh . Leave it to Tam to always make me smile and and laugh when my world is crumbling .. ummm yes.. he was very good . I'm so embarrassed! !! My face has heated up . She say really ? Yes !! I say .. he's not very big .. but he definitely has some moves .. I'm dying here .. Tammie says wow Sammie who knew ... I say Tammie I've lost him for good . She says yes u have .. I look at her .Tam ur not helping .. no I'm helping you with reality. You know that friendship is never gonna be the same .. I shake my head yes very sadly ... she says it time .. we need to clear our heads .. we both look at the merry-go-round and run .... I've hugged Tammie a few times and tell her I love her .. I get in my car and drive to McDonald's. . I need food I feel sick .. I order a double cheese burger meal with a sprite . And cookies 6 cookies . I need chocolate. I drive back to Sam's house . I have to make this right .. some how .. I pull up and turn off the car I pick up my cell .. I am calling him when I see him walking to the car.. I feel so sad . He gets in the passenger seat. . I lift my sprit and drink . Wow I haven't had anything to drink in a long time .. this is good. Sam says u brought me food ? I laugh . I pull out his drive way and we are are McDonald's I pull up and order him and chicken sandwich no mayo and add pickles . With a coke . When I get to the window he says here and hands me money .. I set it on his leg ..and hand her my card .. in pull over in the parking lot and park .. we sit there eating. No words .. the radio is on low volume. .. I'm done eating and I put everything in the bag .and take out my cookies .. I should have gotten a coffee with these ..