Right Kind Of Wrong

the beginning of the end

It's been a month sense that night , Jay has stayed with me but its different we really don't spend a lot of time together he works, I work , I go to school 2 mons left . We stay busy . But he still says he loves me and I love him .. just seems as tho life has taken a few turns .. I'm not sure how we will make it threw this but I've always heard love will find away . And I've been told I'd wake up one day and hate myself and him if I don't take care of my dreams not just his .. I can't take a chance on that .. I have to think of both of us . And our future which I really hope we have one . I'm not working today or going to school it's senior ditch day ! I'm going to see zare and grandpa. I haven't seen them in two weeks and I miss my family. I'm taking sissy with me . I've gotten ready and gotten sissy ready Sam is taking us . I've missed him too . When I buckle sissy in her car seat .. Sam says let's have some lunch ..OK it's early like 11am .. but it's OK maybe Sam is hungry .we are driving and I start singing the song on the radio and realize I haven't just let go and sang in a while .. the song is what now .. I feel this song in my soul.. Sam never even looked at me .. he's driving ..we arrive at newks I love this place and Sam knows it . I smile at him . I take sissy out of her car seat and we all go in .. I hand sissy a bread stick and Sam walks up with our number .. we wait for our food , Sam says how are things . I'm not sure if Sam knows about my job yet , I have a job .I say he says yeah I know I saw you ... WHAT? I look at him he says I saw you last Friday night . I couldn't stay I had a date .. but yep I saw u dancing on the bar... he looks away .. sam? He looks at me what ? I ask . He shakes his head no .. sam! Look at me . What? I ask .. he says I wish that you didn't feel as tho u couldn't except any help on ur journey to higher education. He pauses , let him help u. He says . Jay? I ask .. yes . I says .. .. I can not do that Sam I can't I have to do this on my own so I know I can stand on my own two feet and that I don't owe anyone anything . I look at him hurt .I can't believe he's saying this Sam knows me better then anyone . Sam? U know I'm right . He looks up at me ,and for the very first in yrs that I have know Sam he looks at with this hot sex look . It took me by shock that I could even see that . Wow. He kinda gave the eyes that said I'm not gonna agree with u .. just because we are friends . I look down at the table . Sam has never been like this to me .. I can handle this . Our food arrives at the table and I start helping sissy figure out her meal . While I nibble on mine .. I look at Sam and he's smiling at sissy .he loves her .she gives him a bite of her apples .. of course he eats it .. I smile .. Sam says Mel , I'm not fighting with you about all that. I just know that u dam well do not belong on a bar . Ur better then that . But people do crazy things to get where they wanna be. I get that part too. I just want you safe . I smile Sam I'm safe. I just have to do this . I'm making really really good money and I think I have enough now to pay for culinary school ..and maybe even a summer wardrobe. ... I laugh ..he looks at me his smoldering hot look again and says you've changed so much . I'm taken back by this ... he sounds like Jay .. when we arrive at grandpa's house Sam refuse to come in the house . So I take sissy in I tell her no fussing. She agreed. We sit with grandpa for about an hour and a half .. he loves sissy . And smiled and played with her the whole time. . He looks good , happy . When we leave we head to zare house I tell sam u are coming in here don't play .. he says yes ma'am .. zare is gushing over me and sissy , the boys run to me and I'm happy like really happy I hold my Lil man mason so tight . both boys sit in my lap while Sam holds sissy . I introduce Sam and zare. She's nice to him but has a look ..