Right Kind Of Wrong

he's left me ...again

I've cried a few times more then I wanna admit . I'm so lost . I have no idea who I am ,I try so hard to keep my focus on my dreams ,what I want most. Three days later .. I haven't seen Jay sense I admitted to spending time at the mall with Matt. Jay said the mall closed at 10pm and I didn't get home till 1am .. which is all true . But Jay swears I slept with him .. again! ! Ugh . I'm sitting in class school started today, I have to remember to wear a sweater next time this place is cold .. or maybe it's just me. .. I feel numb these days I've questioned my every move .. I'm not sure of anything. The teacher tells us we can earn more credits if we intern at this restaurant down the street ,but working for free don't sound awesome .. but I can get out if school faster and he says it's a great opportunity! He gives us a number to call so we can set up a time to meet the chef.. we are dismissed. I'm walking to my car and my phone rings .. I pluck the phone from my purse and answer .. its Matt . Hey Beautiful he says . I say hi . He says I just had a two hour conversation with Jason .. what ? I say ..yeah. he came to my house this morning and we talked . He showed me the pics and said he left you . Yes he did ,I say .. he said he's not playing this game no more Melanie , I'm sry. I don't wanna cause you any problems. Matt ur not I make my own choices. And I wanted to spend time with you . I'm grown I can spend time with whom ever I choose .. I'm not mad at you Matt u didn't do anything wrong . Just forget what Jay says .. everything is fine ..Matt says ok . Well call me if u need me or just wanna hang. OK thanks Matt. I drive home mad . When I arrive at my house i see Jays car in the drive way .. and two other cars ..I walk in the house and Jay is holding molly daughter in his lap .. Tammie is sitting on the couch too with molly and a few other friends .. Jay looks up at me sad. . I say hi all. They all look at me and say hey .. molly says lynnlee missed you , that's molly baby name . I drop my bags and go over to Jay and baby girl . She's almost a sleep .. Jay is swaying her back n forth .. this baby is so cute. And I melt when I see Jay holding her .. Jay says u wanna hold her . I say no she's almost a sleep . Ur doing well I smile at him . He dint smile back .he just stares at the baby in his arms .. awwww. I talk to molly and Tammie , and the others here . I'm telling them about my job and my school . Tammie Says yeah we never see ya anymore . I know. I say . She says we need a vacation! Rick walks in and says we need to go up to the cabin for a week .. i say that would be awesome! !! Rick smiles .. when they all leave Jay walks in my room and says we Need to talk .. I look awesome him and says yes we do . But seems you been talking huh . He looks at me and says yes I did go talk to him .. yeah he called me . Jay looks mad. . Melanie do u want him? I look at Jay as tho he's in need of a straight jacket . NO ! Jay I do not . He says we can't do this anymore . I look at the floor, ur right I say . He says so u want to end this , us . I don't wanna fight for my right to live my own life. I say . He says you want to be free. You don't want to answer to anyone . I say I'm grown ! Your my boyfriend NOT my father I don't have to answer to you , and ur right I don't have to answer to anyone !! He looks up at me .. he's hurt . He says I get that Melanie . I do . But if ud look at it like this .. I want u safe ,that job is not safe , and I want u to be mine. Only mine . I don't want you seeing other guys .. I NOT SEEING OTHER GUYS JAY !! I HAVE FRIENDS. MATT IS MY FRIEND HES UR FRIEND . NOTHING IS GOING ON . I scream at him. Cuz I'm so over the same fucking shit... Jay stands up . YOU SLEPT WITH THAT FRIEND . THAT WOULD BE LIKE ME WANTING TO JUST GO HANG WITH SHANA !! YOU WOULD LOSE UR SHIT . Yep.. I would. Hey where were you the night I bought my car ? Because u were not at grandpa's house . He looks so lost .. Jay tell me I say .. he says I was with Emily . She came by my grandpa's house and we went to get ice cream . She said she really needed a friend . Nothing happen . We set there at the ice palace and talked .