Right Kind Of Wrong

new years eve! !

Rick told me a week ago that he was taking mom away for new years eve and that us kids would be home alone. Yikes!!!! I've made plans that Tam and our good friend tosha will stay those three days with me . I know for sure at this point I can not be alone with mr. Smells like what all teenage girls dreams are made of. Nope. I don't think so ... but I will have lots of friends over that night and we will throw down. Party only the way the southern peeps now how to .. I wake up early as my mother is standing in my door way screaming like I'm not two feet from her. She has warn me many times to make my friends leave at midnight. And do not fuck up her house. And I better have it spotless when she gets back. So on and so on. I've heard the speech. I know the rules. And I've got it memorized. U can bet. I get out of bed it's 8 am. Mom and Rick leave. Wow this ain't never happen. Me in charge of the house for three days straight. No parentals !!! Shit I'm stoked. I wave at the closed door. And start to do my happy dance. Party party party. I go to the kitchen and start coffee. Looking around for the coffee creme that usually sits right next to the coffee pot. And is not. I open the cabinet nope not there. As I shut the cabinet Jason is standing right behind the door. Scared the shit outta me. I'm always being scared. I'm so jumpy like all the time. He laughs but I really don't find it funny. I push him and say stop doing that. He looks like I just killed his best friend. He says why do u jump so hard and gasp for air. And how did u not know I was there .. I didn't even sneak up. I think ur blind or have that tunnel vision ... I'm just looking at him. Thinking wow now I'm a deaf mute retard who can't see shit... dam how dare I ... I tell him. I must be blind because I never see him there it's like he appears out of thin air. He's says nah. I think it's that ur so in ur head and focused. That ur not worried about anyone or anything. Just what's right in front of u. I ponder this for a few seconds and agree. Maybe so. Idk.. all I know is I'm so stoked for this party tonight. He's looking up at me from the table ,u know that peer up threw his lashes. Kinda side glance. Hot as hell omg what is happening to my insides right now glare he does so well. Ugh can this boy be any more fucking gorgeous! !!! We have spooned twice ,kissed once ,and hugged like 4 times. I wouldn't say that things were actually moving or going toward anything. But it's something right. ??? Idk.. I think my panties are about to burst in to flames so I look away first. It's just too much. I can't be having these feelings. I'm too young ..right ? It's now 10am and Tammie has arrived we get dressed because my sisters friend is picking us up. We are going to go shopping in her closet for something to wear tonight. In exchange for me babysitting her 3yr old daughter tomorrow night. Which is fine. I tell Jason we are leaving for a bit. He says bye !! But this look in his eye has me feeling so nervous. . Three hours later we are back home. With some smokin hot clothes and lots of Avon samples her aunt gave us. Like a huge box of samples and all these little bottles of stuff. It's time for super loud music and showers. It's after 1:00pm it will take us a good 4 hours to get ready !!! I told everyone to get here around 8 pm. But that means around 6 .. I tell Tam to put on some music! ! And I pour out the box of Avon stuff to see if there is anything we can use tonight. 30 mins later we have divided up what she wants and I've put on my vanity what I'm keeping. I get in the shower .. 52 mins later I'm standing in my room drying off when Tam comes in. Jason is home. She says with this shit eating grin .. I tell her to shut up his room is right next door. We giggle!!! I'm dressed in a pair of super expensive jeans they fit like a glove. I love them. I have on a tight black top that has tiny Lil flecks of something but when the light hits it just right it shines like silver and glass. I have on some tall black boots . I'm seriously in love with this outfit.