Right Kind Of Wrong

it's never gonna fit

Jay lays down on top of me his bare chest to my bare chest. He kisses me slowly like those feather light omg kisses I feel my skin getting warm .. Jay Scoots to lay down beside me. I feel so very naked. He uses his index finger tip and runs it over the top of each breast outlining them .. I'm nervous. . Really nervous. . He whispers are u sure ? I shake my head yes .. he says talk to me ..i whisper yes but barely make sound .. I love you .. he says very slowly . I'm not having sec thoughts .. I think I'm on my 100th thought. I'm shaking .. Jay seems hesitate. . Or maybe he's just taking this slow to give me a chance to change my mind .. I don't know . He sits up and kneel in front of me ,he's on his knees ... he has my panties between his fingers and thumbs and is slowly peeling them down .. I lift so he can continue. . He pulls them down slowly he tosses them on the end of the bed. He kisses my knee .. then is laying back down beside me. His face is so close to mine I can feel him breathing kinda fast .. but he hasn't kiss me or touched me. Then I feel his hand on my chest over my heart .. he's not moving. Just breathing. Baby? He ask .. yea. He sounds nervous. I don't have condoms.. he puts his forehead to mine .. I think he's gonna say something ..but he don't . I'm on the pill. . I say I feel him look up at me. Still do u want me to wear a condom? He ask .. I whisper no.. are u sure ? I'm sure . He kisses me and runs his hand across my belly slowly. I put my hand on his chest I can feel his heart beating and his breathing is a Lil bit quicker.. but he's moving at a snails pace here. Why am I in a hurry ? Jay runs his hand down my belly to my belly button and begins circling around it. Slowly very slowly .. he moves down even more and I'm seriously ready for the pressure. . His hand is right over the dip right above my public bone I lift up just a tiny bit. He rubs across the area but still hasn't pressed down not even a Lil bit .. I really want him to ,so bad. So I lift just a tiny bit more this time ,he rubs across again . No no. No. I'm screaming in my head , just do it .. please .. please. Jay is at my ear again and says ... are u sure ? Yes I say with a small rush of air .. you can tell me to stop. I will.. he says. I just put my arms around him and hug him to me ... baby please tell me to stop.. he says in this scared to death voice . I shake my head no . I want to. I whisper .. do you ? Yes he says immediately. Then why did u say that ? Because I don't want u to regret it ,or do it if u really don't want to ... I do . He rubs across my belly again and I'm not even joking one bit I'm about to scream .. like one of those monkeys at the zoo ... please please do it. I'm so in my head .. he pushes down so lite it almost didn't even register with me that he had done it .. omg .. he does it again and I feel it this time I think my soul was touched .. he moves on down .. a few mins later he rolls over on top of me and is breathing like he just ran here from Texas! ! Baby? Hummm are u sure ? Omg !! YES ! That was my thought ... what I really did was shake my head yes .. 20 mins later Jay is laying flat on his back next to me panting. . I'm so embarrassed. . Like really . Come on ! Is this ever gonna happen. .. he tried.. it's just not fitting .. omg ! I'm just so in my head and worried and mad and idk.. just something. . The next morning I wake up to Jay kissing my forehead saying wake up beautiful. . I have to leave for work now. Get up ! OK I'm awake I say but I never open my eyes. He says imma call u in 10 mins . OK .. OK I love you. I love you too... an hour later I'm awake and running around my room I'm so late for school . Jay called but I didn't hear that shit. . I'm showered dressed and out the door in 39 mins.. when I get to school it's sec period . I'm walking to my locker when a teacher says u can't go to ur locker till lunch .. I just got here .. I say. I don't care u have to wait he says .. no ,I'm getting my stuff now .. and I'm do .. in sec period I'm called to the office !!-