Right Kind Of Wrong

I will not tell a lie ..

I've been laying on the bed on my belly now for about 7 mins. Jay walks in and shuts my bedroom door. I can hear this but I have not lifted my head ! It's pitch black in my room and you couldn't see SHIT ! I feel him climb on the bed , he lays down right on my back his mouth is right next to my ear. Baby please don't be mad at me. I'm sry . I'm not mad I say in my saddest voice ever .. he rolls me over to my back and he is now on all four hovering over me. Talk to me baby. He says in the whisper voice. I say. I'm sry Jay . I'm really sry. I never even gave any thought about how hard this must be for u. I mean I know u have had sex.. and I'm dam certain now that u need to have it again and again .. but like u said I'm just not ready .. he says I know this baby that's why I haven't went there. Yes I have taken it right to the very very edge .. but I stop every time. I know ..I say. What's that mean baby .. nothing I just know when we make out at some point ur gonna walk away. .. u have always .. I say. Sad voice .. Jay lays down beside me and pulls me to him come here baby .. I Roll into him and lay my head against his chest. .. he breaths out as if he can't get me see this how it really is.. baby listen to me. I am not rushing you , I'm fully aware that we both have hormones and i know for certain that we both feel things when we are together , when we make out . He clarifies . His voices changes to the sex god sound .. Melanie I do wanna make love to u ... just not till I know u are 1000% certain u want me to be the "one" I mean the card is platinum. .. I laugh. Who says I'm not . I say very slowly in my , I'm more confident now that I know for sure u want me voice. But I think that voice might still need some work. He takes a deep breath .. and pulls my leg up on his hip and begins rubbing my ass. I think I may have just got into something I wasn't planning on .. he kisses me deeply. Few mins later he stops and says this is how I know .. as he places his hand over my heart .which out of pure fear is now doing a million beats per min. .. I was almost certain after my brave words he was gonna try. And it scared me. .. I just lay there .. he says baby I think I'm falling in love with you. I think my heart just came to a screeching halt! !! I shake my head yes as to say yeah I think I am too . Melanie we should wait .. I shake my head yes again. He hugs me even tighter to him .. I feel safe again and I've calm down . We are both clear on the fact that I'm not there yet .. he whispers in my ear . I'm sry I made u mad .. Jay I wasn't mad I tell him. I was upset that I was playing games , games I'm not familiar enough on the subject to play . I get it now. Jay says baby its human nature . I think we are both guilty of trying to get each others attention . I shake my head in agreement. Baby if u think I go shirtless in the winter cuz I like my nipple hard well ud be wrong. I laugh out loud. ... so u had been playing with me .. I ask . Yes he admits .. and these Lil wanna be pants here ,he pulls at my waist band. Have a profound effect on me. .. I hide my face in his chest , but decide to go for bold one more time. I pull his waist band and say these do too . He laughs .. so what do we .. he ask in his I need you to tell me voice .. I shrug . He says this isn't easy baby but we can do it ..