Right Kind Of Wrong

things are getting worse

Christmas eve ... everyone is home including mom ,my two sisters ,all there kids ,and the douch bag baby daddies. One big happy family. NOT mom has not been real happy today , what's new I think I've seen that woman smile a total of twice in my whole life. I'm sitting on the couch holding sissy in my lap. Rick is next to me telling sissy all about Santa Claus. . I guess I was sorta lost in thought ... cuz my sister is waving at me like I'm some deaf mute ... pat is 8 yrs older then me and just like our mother. Yeah be afraid .there is two of them. Me and dee are 6 yrs apart that's sissy mom. Dee and I get along for the most part. I just think she a bad mom. Not the mom we have. But not the kinda mom I'll be. I look at pat ,, what ? She said I want yall to open the gift I got yall. Everyone is now seated in our small living room. And pat passes out her gifts. I allow sissy to open mine. It's a bath set ,bubble bath poof thing and body wash. I say thank u . And mom opens hers. It's a box of candy bars. And some skin so soft body wash ... everyone has opened all the gifts and is now talking really loud. I stand to go put my things away and sissy grabs me around the neck not letting me leave her behind. So yes my hands and arms are full. I walk past Jason in the hall who wants to help. I say no thanks. And walk in my room and deposit everything on my bed including sissy. She is laughing loud ..Jason says more bath stuff just what u needed. I look at him meanly he continues. . I mean it's not like u don't spend half ur day in that dam shower anyway. I roll my eyes at him. He laughs. This boy loves to annoy me. He's standing in the door way of my room. And now bugging sissy. She is laugh at him. He's like a big kid him self. Always playing !!! I hear my mom close by. Not good I panic .. I'm like go ,go now. Do not let her see u near me don't talk to me when she's home ever !!! So he walks down the hall slow like he could careless what the old bat thinks. Ughhhhh I swing sissy up in my arms and go toward the kitchen I find Rick cutting some ham and making sandwiches I'm so hungry so when he offers to make me a sandwich I agree yes please. I make sissy a plate and sit her down next to me I'm feeding her when my mom calls out over all the noise screaming at the top of her lungs , I grab Jason and tell him watch sissy now. I run to my mom to see what I can get her ... she wants a small sandwich with a tiny bit of mayo. No cheese , lettuce and tomato. Which isn't cut. So I get busy fixing this and start to plate her food when she walks in the kitchen looks at me and says I could have killed and slaughtered that fucking pig by now. She grabs the plate out of my hand a slings food all over the kitchen and pushes me against the frig. Tells me I'm slow as hell and tells my sister to make her a fucking sandwich. .. so without a word dee makes the sandwich super fast and takes it to her. I'm still stand at the frig with mayo on my shirt. Not sure how it even got there and looking at the floor. Always looking at the floor. When I looked up sissy was saying mimi that's what all my nieces and nephews call me. .. she was reaching for me. So I slid off the frig and walked over to sissy. Did u eat all ur food baby girl. She nods , I look over at my plate which is still full. I didn't eat .. and now I feel stupid ,so I'm going to my bedroom. . Taking my child with me. Well should be my child. I raise her more then any other.