Right Kind Of Wrong

winter brrrrr

It's so dam cold it's a week till Christmas. .. so we are out of school. So glad for that. It's Tues evening around 5pm ish.. and I've had my shower and made dinner earlier. Pot roast. So it's warm in the crock pot. I'm finally in my warmest Jammies and got my blankets on the couch. I've planned to make a huge plate of roast and sit myself on this couch under my blankets watch my favorite TV show oth. Stuff my face and just relax for the rest of the night. I'm home alone for the first time in a while so I'm taking full advantage! I make my plate and huge glass of sweet tea grab my cigarettes and settle on the couch turn the TV on. My show starts in 4 mins. Love this show. I'm warm happy content. The door opens and this artic air blows in .. Jason is home. He's going on about freezing. I tell him shhhh my show is coming on and I want to hear it. He looks at me with the saddest face ever and says I can't feel my fingers. He don't have heat in his car. He's says I won't make a peep if u share ur blanket with me. I'm at a loss for words. But he's slips his self right in beside me ,hip to hip. And pulls the blanket up on him. OK HES RIGHT NEXT TO ME UNDER MY BLANKET. OK. I'm ok. I continue eating and my show has started. I have to find out what is gonna happen this week. Jason says I've come to like this show. He's watched a few time before. But on his rightful side of the couch. Never this close to me ever. I can hear him breathing ... but I keep my cool some how. The show go's to commercial, Jason says I think I could use some of that roast. So I know he's about to get up and go to the kitchen . I'm conflicted on how I feel about this. On one hand him being that close was strange, and not something we have ever done. But on the other hand .. lol. He smells so good. And he was warm . The actual human contact with this ever so yummy boy has my head spinning. He comes back to the couch with plate in hand and glass of sweet tea .. he sits down very close but not touching me this time. The shows back on and I watch but couldn't tell ya what happen. My senses are on over load ....so when Jason was done eating he lifted the blanket and scoots right back in beside me. TOUCHING ME . He slides his arm in behind me and wraps the blanket around us with his other arm. He's watching the TV now like this is just normal for us. Yes I think my heart rate was double. But I'm keeping my self together. Never show fear boys feed off fear. And besides u do dumb shot when u let fear take over. So I'm just gonna sit here and watch this show ... what's it called again. Yeah ... lol. When the show ended. I figured so would this snuggle fest. .. but no . I look over at Jason who says this is nice .. with his 20 million dollar smile ! Knowing full well I'm nervous !! He knows I have serious trust issues with guys . We've had that talk. But Jason seems very content with what he's doing to me. To my nervous system! !! We should cuddle ,like let's spoon right here on the couch. And watch a movie. I think I went deaf for a moment because he was saying something but I didn't hear a word. He then leans up looks at me a laughs .. I just stare at him. Like a deaf mute retard !! No words . I have nothing. Notta, Jason laid down on the couch pulled a pillow over and under his head. Pulled the covers back and motion for me to lay in front of him. I think out of fear I just did it. I mean had I not .we would have had and 4 hour long talk about why .. so I figure in my very cloudy head ,just go for it. I lay down and he covers me up we are now spooning on my mommas sofa. Oh lord help me !!!! He picks up the remote and puts his hand out in front of me to change the channel he finds a movie and sets the remote down on my leg. He puts his his arm under the blanket and around my waist. I think the deaf mute retard has stop breathing and is now suffering from some sorta numbness in well most parts of the body. I'm OK. I'm OK. .. about half way threw the movie I start hearing this soft rattle behind me. ... Jason is snoring ever so gentle .. awwwwww. I can't move he has me trapped ... but Iiiiii liiiiiikkkkkke it. I've finally calm down enough to sorta appreciate this moment. And all the sudden it dawns on me ..what time is it ?????? I jump up and run to the kitchen I've excelled at sprinting across this house. Looking at the clock it's 10:pm. Mom will be here at 11:45 that gives a Lil more time in the arms of mr. Wow he smells so dam good. So I walk back to the living room . I'm sad mr.smell good is gone