Right Kind Of Wrong

I'll be a graduate in 4 mons..

I will say prom was incredible. Last yr. Jay came to my school at lunch time and stood on a chair with this huge bear . On the shirt of the bear ...it said will u bear prom with me ? All the girls were swooning over Jay and everyone was clapping a yelling. The whole school . I Said yes ! We hugged and kissed and the principal said OK u got ur yes get out .. we all laughed .. Tammie and I got our dresses . A limo the whole nine .. it was perfect . But now I have to think of my senior prom and the very last talent show .. Sad . Jay has already said he's taking me to prom this yr. So I guess no more grand gestures .. it's OK . Imma. Be OK . Today we have our first rehearsal for the talent show and I'm not at all ready I've sung this song a 1000 times this week when I'm alone but I cry every time so .I have to figure out how to not cry . So I don't cry on stage . It hits me so dam hard ..
After practice I'm Walking home . Yep 18 yr.old still in school and walking .. but I got a job !!! So it will not be this way for long .. there is a problem tho .. OK so I had to lie to Jay about the job he can not find out where I work . I told him I have a job at a restaurant down town .. which the job is down town , but it's at coyote ugly . Yes like dance on the bar in cow girl boots and shake ur ass . Jay would pluck my retarded ass right off Said bar and beat me all the way home .or just leave me .. we have had too many fights over my clothes and my sexual whatever . So kammie got me the job ,and she keeps all my clothes and stuff in her car , suv. Nice vehicle. We make killer money !! I set up a bank account with out anyone knowing .. well except zare. She took me to do it .. but I trust her.. as I'm walking home I see Jay round the corner .wth? He's way early this can't be good . Kammie takes me to and from work I pay her well for this. So Jay will not find out .. but Jay always works till 6 or 7 . So I never worry . But he will see today oh fuck !! We get home and I tell Jay I have to get ready for work , I work three week days .and one weekend night .. 4 days .in four days I can make anywhere from $300 to $500 so yeah. I have to pay for culinary school real soon. It's gonna cost. Me about $4000 plus there is this trip for another school. And we can't even get into all that cuz I have to lie yet again. What can I say about why kammie is picking me up .. Jay says OK baby Imma go see about the wood dad wanted moved . They built a huge fire pit and got a ton of wood .. I take my shower and put my makeup on .. I'm ready by 4: 30 .. I have to leave by 5:30 pm. We get to work at like 6:15 and my shift starts at 6:30 .. so I have no time to waste .. I walk to the living room Jay walks in from the back door .. he says wow u look so good . U sure ur going to work .. ?he ask but he's laughing .. I say yep. We get off work at 1:00 am during the week. And I leave work on Saturday nights around 3am . I have been taking a cab home .because kammie will stay till dawn .. I tell Jay that kammie is gonna pick me up because Tammie couldn't today .. I've told him several times Tammie takes me .. ugh the lies mount quick .. and I don't get much sleep these days . But I have to make this money .I want to pay for my own schooling and my own way. Jay knows this and amazingly hasn't ever asked a lot of questions. . Weird but we are both so busy all the time .. that when we get a minute together we don't talk ... when kammie arrives she all happy , she tells me that one if her regulars will be in tonight .which means chi ching. We laugh. We stop at sb .. for some serious energy . We want the tall! ! When we get to work we have like 3 minute to clock in. We run .. standing behind the bar I see two very very good looking guys ..they approach the bar lean in and ask for two beers . I hand them the beer and they hand me $20bill .. I hold my finger up at them so they know I'm bringing there change back they wave me off. I see tip . Yes . The music is so loud u can't ever hear the customer. .so I've gotten really good with sign language.