MARVEL & DC IMAGINES

] Unfair [

You made your way out of the movie theatre with eyes swollen and puffy from crying. The tears had stopped, yes, but they were threatening to spill out any second now- you brain only needed to remind you one of the many scenes in the godforsaken movie for you to lose it all over again.

You'd gone to see Infinity War and you had been determined to get tickets to the first show which happened to be just a little after midnight in the night/morning of the 26th April in UK. You'd gone with your friends, also avid marvel fans. Your boyfriend, who happened to be Tom Hiddleston, had offered to go along with you but you'd stoutly refused. He'd even asked you if you wanted to watch the movie along with him and the cast at the L.A. premiere but you'd turned that offer down as well. You wanted to watch the movie like you'd watched all the other movies, with your friends in a hall packed full of other fans. The euphoria of watching a movie where the audience acted and behaved as one cohesive entity, that unity and solidarity was electrifying and part of the whole experience. It was one of the main reasons why you'd wanted to watch it at a regular movie hall when it came out and also because your friends wouldn't have been accommodated at the premiere. Another reason why you hadn't wanted Tom to accompany you because as much as you loved Tom since he had already seen the film, his reactions would naturally not be his original reactions. Not to mention he obviously knew what was going to happen to Loki and there was a part of you that really did not want to find out because you had been terrified in the months leading up to the movie about his arc in particular. You'd loved Loki long before you'd even met Tom and he was actually really surprised that you hadn't asked him even once for the plot of the movie or even what happens to Loki. He had tried hard to convince you that he's a great actor and you definitely wouldn't be able to tell that he had in fact seen the movie before but you knew he had and that knowledge was what made all the difference, you couldn't just erase it from your brain. Besides, there would be a lot of other practical problems had Tom Hiddleston decided to accompany you to the first day first show screening of the most anticipated movie of the whole year. He'd reluctantly agreed to stay back at home after having sulked around for about half an hour on the couch, grumpily flipping the pages through a book you were sure he was only pretending to read so he had something to bounce his "angst" off. After you'd left the hall in tears, your heart shattered into a million pieces and your feelings scattered all over the place, you understood now why he had been so insistent on accompanying you.

Your friends and you had mumbled your teary eyed goodbyes at 3am, nobody wanting anything more than to go back home. You made your way to your apartment, thankfully only a few blocks away from the movie hall. The cold air at night was slicing through your skin, as if freezing the tear stains on your face. You desperately tried to wrap your head around the movie as you made your way back. What the fuck was even the movie?! You knew it wasn't headed in any direction you would've approved of when they'd killed off your favourite character first five fucking minutes into the movie. Loki was your favourite character and at that instant it didn't matter that Tom Hiddleston was your boyfriend, nothing mattered as you watched on in horror as Thanos crushed Loki like a rag doll in his arms and you watched his body go limp and crumble to the floor. You'd screamed and started sobbing uncontrollably in your seat, refusing to believe that they'd do that to him. You still held a sliver of hope as you wished he'd pulled an illusion like he had at the end of Thor: Dark World but right at that moment fucking Thanos explicitly said it out loud, "No resurrections." And then you truly did lose it. Your crying had stopped then and resumed for several moments throughout the movie but no matter how much the rest of the script hurt, even with over half the characters being turned into dust, including your very very close second favourite Bucky, Loki's death was still the one that stuck with you the most.

You reached your apartment, unlocked the door, walked in and shut the door as quietly as you could. You were already trying hard to control your sniffling and you didn't want to wake poor Tom up at 3:30am. You quietly made your way to the bedroom and saw that Tom had fallen asleep sitting while reading. The lights were on, an open book was lying by his side, Tom's head uncomfortably nestled against the cushioned header of the bed and his glasses were still on his face, slipping off the bridge of his nose. You couldn't help but smile seeing him, he had been determined to stay up until you came home despite you having told him multiple times that he didn't need to. After having seen the movie and knowing now more than ever why he'd wanted to stay up and accompany you, it warmed your heart to think he was trying to be there for you without letting you know why but that still didn't change the fact that they really had killed Loki off. The tears were pricking at your eyes again. You made your way to the side of the bed Tom was on, you slowly took the glasses off his face and his hard bound copy of Iliad lying discarded on the bed, still loosely in his grasp and you kept them on the coffee table next to the bed. Then, as gently as you could, you helped shift him to a sleeping position from his sitting one so he could sleep better. You then turned the lights off and went to stand by yourself in the balcony, not wanting to go to bed just yet.