My Brothers Don't Like My Boyfriend 😱[COMPLETED]

chapter 169

( long long chapter warning)

Please come back...please come back to me....

Jungkook....tears rolls down from tae's eyes....

Please..i beg you...i beg you tae....jungkook sobs loudly like a kid...

I grew up alone tae...all alone,i had to pretend a mature kid before i even became mature. You grew alone too. But you knew there are people who care about you. I grew up with this thought that except mom,no one care about me. I didn't ever care of losing someone. I never feared of not having anyone in my life. That's how my life was.

Until i have you tae. Until i knew i have someone to go back home. Until i knew,i have someone with a house feel like home. Until i knew i can depend on someone. That person will care for me. Will run to me when i am sick. Will make me realize i am important too. Will make me realize i deserve to be loved too. I can dream too. I can dream a future with full of happiness. Will make me realize i don't have to sit alone in a corner not talking to anyone whenever i am sad,stressed....anymore.

That's when i started to fear tae...because if i started to dream something & that break away in the middle & i have to wake up from that...i won't be able to sleep again. Because every time i am gonna try to sleep,i will want to have that dream again n again.

You are my that dream tae. You are that dream i wanna see again n again. Not able to have that dream again make me so scared that i am even scared to sleep now.

Loneliness is scary tae. It's so much more scary than i ever felt before. It become this scary if i lose you. I am losing my mind tae. I don't even know this person i am living as. Everyone is leaving me. Either because they choose it to,or either because they are forced. But i am the only one being left out,right? You mean everything to me tae.everything. i learned to live again because of you. I learned to dream again. When you left...here..

Jungkook holds his chest...

It feels so empty that it's hard to breathe. I am crawling to hold something,something that will bring you back to me. & every time i am crawling to you. You are fading away tae. Your smell is fading away & that's making me so furious that i am being a monster.

It's so scary that i am imagining to think,one day niana will leave me too....i will be crawling in me in this haunted house alone. Nights are scary now tae thinking another morning will come when i have to pretend,fake a smile in front of all the people pretending to be happy...when i am not...i am not happy..

I started to think it's Okay for you to losing me,then did i actually ever mean anything to you. I started to think,then why would you embrace me. Then why would you take me in your life. I was okay being alone. Why did you let me stay beside you then. Now i am feeling all these pain inside me. All these suffocation that i can't sleep at night. Nightmares chase me behind.

I love you so much tae that i can't repress my anger that why am i not being loved. Why i am the only being left out. Why even you teach me to dream if you are not gonna be there with me to fulfill it. Why you will choose everytime to break your promises. Why everytime you will say i don't love you jungkook,when i love you so much. This all things made me so mad that i am not even in my right sense to think straight about what is right n what is wrong.

I couldn't blame anyone but you. I couldn't help only blaming you that you are the one who is the reason for this all.

"Even after knowing the truth."