Luke's Diary: An Unlucky Man In A Zombie Apocalypse. Entries 957 - 1157

Entry 959: Monday 13th May 2019

Entry 959
Monday 13th May 2019

What a day. There was an outbreak in the quarantine area of Newport, and both me and Auntie Meryl nearly died! I'm now in quarantine.

The drama started not long after I'd arrived to see Auntie Meryl. We were sitting in the community centre in Newport and she was having a go at me for not brining Leo to see her. "Why haven't you brought Leon to see me?" she asked. "Leo," I said, correcting her. "Who?" said Auntie Meryl. "Leo," I firmly said. "Who's that?" asked Auntie Meryl. "My son!" I loudly snapped. "Who's Leon then?" asked Auntie Meryl. "I don't frigging know," I said, "God, why do we have to go through this rigmarole every time I come here. I left Leo at home with Mum." "Well, that's the last you'll see of him," said Auntie Meryl, "She'll have sold him to a sailor in exchange for a quick hand shandy, if you know what I mean? Dirty b*tch." "Have you been told about these neck-grabs?" I asked. "The what?" said Auntie Meryl. "Neck-grabs," I said, picking mine up and showing it to Auntie Meryl. "It looks like a litter picker," said Auntie Meryl. "That's what I said," I said. "Well, what are we supposed to do with these bl**dy things?" said Auntie Meryl waving the neck-grab about. "You put it around the infected's neck," I said, "You keep them at arm's length and put them in a room until the GRID lot come and take them to The Hive." "The what?" said Auntie Meryl. "The Hive," I said. "Is that one of those nightclubs or something?" asked Auntie Meryl. "Why would you want to take the infected to a night club?" I snapped. "Well you get a lot of brain-dead idiots in there most of the time," said Auntie Meryl, "So it seems like a sensible place to put them to me." "The Hive is in Blackgang," I said. "Gangbang?" said Auntie Meryl, "Is it a sex club? Somewhere infected go to have sex with each other. "BLACK-gang," I emphasise. "A black gangbang?" said Auntie Meryl, "Well, yes why not. No need to be racist." "Jesus," I said, "Blackgang is a part of the island." "What island?" asked Auntie Meryl. "This island!" I loudly said, angrily waving the neck-grab around. "I thought you said that was called a neck-grab?" said Auntie Meryl. "No!" I loudly snapped. "It's not called a neck-grab?" asked Auntie Meryl. "Yes, it's called a bl**dy neck-grab!" I loudly snapped. "You just said it wasn't," said Auntie Meryl. "I'm talking about the island," I snapped. "What island?" asked Auntie Meryl. "THIS F*CKING ISLAND!" I loudly snapped. "Alright, keep your voice down," snapped Auntie Meryl, "We don't ned an audience. I don't know what you're talking about; nightclubs and islands and gangbangs." "Christ," I snapped, rolling my eyes, "Will you stop going on about gangbangs!" I looked to my left and noticed that someone was stood next to me giving me a shocked look. It was Nikki. "Oh, sorry," she said, "I didn't mean to interrupt. I just saw you over here and thought I'd say hello. Sounds like I'm interrupting something private." "No," I said, trying to reassure Nikki, "God no. I'm talking about Blackgang and she thinks I'm talking about gangbangs." "I'm not senile," said a firm Auntie Meryl, "I know what you're talking about; Blackgang on the south of the island." I gave Auntie Meryl a stern stare. She was making me look like a right mug. "You didn't even know we were on an island two minutes ago," I bluntly said. I looked up at Nikki and smiled. "She's my Auntie. She gets confused. "I get confused?" exclaimed Auntie Meryl, "You're the one who doesn't know your own son's name, and talks about infected going to a nightclub." "Just ignore her," I said to Nikki, "Anyway, what are you doing here?" "Oh, I just came with a friend," said Nikki, "I gave her a lift so she could visit her mother." "Excuse me," said Auntie Meryl, prodding me on the knee, "Don't ignore me. Rude. Talk to me. Who is this?" "This is Nikki," I said. "Hi," Nikki said to Auntie Meryl, giving her a smile and shaking her hand, "I'm Nikki; Nikki Tinsley." "What are you shaking my hand for?" asked Auntie Meryl, "Are you selling something?" "Erm... No," said a confused Nikki. "Good," said Auntie Meryl, "You look like someone who sells tea towels, and I've got more tea towels than China's got tea." "I don't sell tea towels," said Nikki, "I used to be a travel agent." "So?" said Auntie Meryl, "I used to be a part time go-go dancer but I'm not going on about it." "I think I'll leave you to it," said Nikki, "I just saw you and thought I'd say hello." "Why don't you join us?" I said. "Oh, I'm not sure," said Nikki, "I don't want to interrupt." "Bye then," said Auntie Meryl. "Ignore her," I said. I looked at Nikki's dark blonde wavy hair that went past her shoulders. It looked like she'd done something different with it. "You look like you've done something different with your hair," I said, "It looks... Yeah... Different." "I've just washed it," said Nikki. "Oh..." I said, feeling slightly embarrassed. "Bl**dy Hell," said Auntie Meryl, "If this is your hair when it's washed it must have looked a right state before." "Auntie Meryl, you're being really rude," I firmly said. "It's OK, Luke," said Nikki, "I can make allowances for old people." "Oi, mouth," snapped Auntie Meryl, "How old do you think I am?" "I don't know," said a firm Nikki, "Old enough to know how to have proper manners." "You what?" snapped an angry Auntie Meryl. "Why don't we have some tea?" I said. "I'll go make it," said Auntie Meryl, standing up, "Suddenly smells a bit around here." Auntie Meryl then walked off. "I'm sorry," I said to Nikki, trying to make up for Auntie Meryl's rudeness. "Forget it," said Nikki, "Old people think they're entitled to do what they want. You just need to stand up to them." "She's harmless," I said. "Really?" said Nikki, "She seems quite vicious to me," said Nikki, "If she's making tea, I think I should check that she doesn't put something in mine. Anyway, I think I'd prefer a coffee right now." "I'll go tell her," I said, "You wait here."