Luke's Diary: An Unlucky Man In A Zombie Apocalypse. Entries 957 - 1157

Entry 1067: Thursday 29th August 2019

Entry 1067
Thursday 29th August 2019

STILL no change.

Auntie Meryl will have been in this coma a week tomorrow. I'm worried that the Doctors might end up saying that we need to think about turning off her life support. I hope they don't say this. There's no way I can turn off Auntie Meryl's life support. I wouldn't be able to live with myself.

I went to the hospital canteen and had a chat and a cuppa with Mike and Cyn today. I say "chat", I didn't really say much, I just sat at the little table, slurping my tea and staring into space. I could see from the look on Mike and Cyn's faces that they were worried about me, but my focus was on what was going on upstairs with Auntie Meryl. I felt guilty that I was sat in a little café area, sitting with Mike and Cyn, drinking tea. It felt wrong. I felt like I should have been upstairs with Naomi, by Auntie Meryl's side. I quickly finished off my tea and told Mike and Cyn that I couldn't sit there with them, doing nothing and staring into space when Auntie Meryl was laid upstairs in a side room like some sort of vegetable.

I returned to the side room and found that Ash was with Naomi. I was surprised to see him, but I wasn't interested in dealing with any awkward confrontation between the two of us. I just wanted to focus on Auntie Meryl. Ash said he wanted to see if I was OK, to tell me that he was thinking about me, and that he hoped Auntie Meryl would be OK. I just looked at Ash, nodded and then returned to Auntie Meryl's side.

Mum, Trudy and a few of the others came to see Auntie Meryl. What's really starting to annoy me is that some of them are talking about her like she's already dead. "Do you remember how she used to get all confused with her words," laughed Trudy. "Do I?" exclaimed Mum, "She used to drive me mad. You'd be sitting there watching a film, and she'd randomly shout out a word that was the answer to some crossword conundrum that she was trying to figure out hours ago." "I still can't believe she wanted to give being a lesbian a go," giggled TJ. "She's not dead you know!?" I snapped. "You what?" said TJ. "You're all talking about her like she's dead," I angrily snapped, "Well, she's not dead. She's RIGHT THERE in front of you." "Sausage, we're just trying to remember all the times she made us laugh," said Mum. "Why?" I snapped, "That's the sort of thing you do when someone's dead. She's not dead. Don't go remembering, don't go mourning, and certainly go laughing. Do you think this is funny or something?" "Luke, man, no one thinks this is funny," said TJ. "What the f*ck are you laughing for then!?" I loudly snapped. "Luke, it's OK," said Naomi. "No, it's not f*cking OK," I snapped, "How the Hell is it OK? Auntie Meryl's just laid there in a coma, and this bunch of tw*ts are laughing. It's a million miles away from OK!" I stormed out of the side room in a huff and marched into the relative's room, slamming the door behind me.

I sat in the small, cosy room, dropped my head into my hands in despair and burst into tears. A few moments later Naomi appeared. She didn't say anything. She just sat next to me, wrapped her arms around me and gave me a big hug as I sobbed. Once the tears had stopped, I just looked at Naomi and told her that I knew I'd been a nob that I needed to apologise to Mum and the others, which I did. They were all reassuringly understanding as they knew what I was going through.

I don't know how much more of this I can take. I keep talking to Auntie Meryl, and telling her how much I love her and how much I want her to wake up, but I can't help but notice this nagging thought in the back of my head that the Doctors are going to want to turn off her life support. I hope I'm wrong...