Luke's Diary: An Unlucky Man In A Zombie Apocalypse. Entries 957 - 1157

Entry 1056: Sunday 18th August 2019

Entry 1056
Sunday 18th August 2019

It has been the morning from Hell! I went from being in the house with four women to once again being here on my own. The day certainly hasn't been without its drama!

I woke up feeling really ill, and I mean like REALLY ill. I was hot and sweaty, I ached all over, I had a high temperature and my stomach was aching. It's pretty obvious what was wrong with me; Nikki's home-made chicken pie! She obviously hadn't cooked it properly.

With the duvet wrapped around me, I plodded downstairs and sat on the sofa. I felt so weak. I eventually plodded into the kitchen and looked in the kitchen cupboards. I found some Lemsip tablets and took a couple, then returned to the sofa where I plonked myself in a heap and tried to relax. I felt like I should be doing something about the situation with Nikki – going out to look for her maybe, but I felt too weak. My body was telling me to rest. I spent an hour or so resting hoping that I would feel better, but if anything, I felt like I was getting worse. I limped over to the front door and opened it hoping that the fresh air might help, but it didn't. I closed the front door, plodded back upstairs and got back into bed. I was getting hotter and my temperature was increasing, so I took off all of my clothes and just laid on top of the duvet doing my best to relax. The problem was that I must have forgot to close the front door properly because the next thing I knew I heard someone gasping in shock. I turned my head, opened my eyes and looked towards the bedroom door and saw Natasha stood in the doorway covering her eyes. I was totally naked, so after getting over the initial shock of Natasha seeing me in the nude, I quickly wrapped the duvet around my lower half. Natasha!" I gasped, "What are you doing here? Haven't you heard of knocking!?" "I did knock," said Natasha, "You can't have heard me. Anyway, the front door's open." "Oh, for God's sake," I said, rolling my eyes, "I can't have shut it properly." "Luke, are you OK?" asked Natasha, "You look really ill." "Yes, I know," I bluntly said, "I feel like sh*t. It might be food poisoning. It'll pass. Look, I don't mean to have a go Natasha, but I feel like sh*t. What do you want?" "I wanted to say sorry for the other day," said Natasha, "I shouldn't have kissed you. It was inappropriate and poorly judged. I'm your boss for crying out loud. I should have known better. I suppose what with everything that's been going on with Tinsley I haven't really been feeling myself lately. I guess I've been more emotional than usual, and that day you walked in on me in the staffroom... Well... That was a very emotional day." "Forget it," I said, "We're all human. We all make mistakes." Natasha walked over to me and sat on the edge next to me. This unnerved me slightly. "No, but I feel like I need to explain things properly," she said. "You just have," I said. "No, I mean properly – properly," said Natasha, "You see I..." All of a sudden, I heard the front door swing open. I quickly sat bolt upright on the bed, widened my eyes and raised my index finger indicating that Natasha needed to shut up. A tense silence followed. "Luke?" a muffled voice said from the bottom of the stairs. "Sh*t," I quietly exclaimed, "It's Nikki. She'll freak if she sees you in here whilst I'm naked. Quick. Hide in the wardrobe." "What? I'm not doing that," protested Natasha. "Natasha, I told her about you trying to kiss me," I quietly said, "Just hide in the bl**dy wardrobe." "Luke, I'm not hiding in your wardrobe," said Natasha. I quickly jumped out of bed, pushing through the pain that I was in and not caring that I was naked, and aggressively ushered Natasha over to the built-in wardrobe. "Just get in the f*cking wardrobe," I quietly snapped. I slid the door open, pushed Natasha inside and slid the door shut. "Just stay there and keep your mouth shut," I quietly snapped. I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. I quickly got back into bed and wrapped myself in the duvet cover. With my sight fixed on the bedroom doorway I was expecting to see Nikki appear but it wasn't Nikki at all. It was Naomi. I raised my eyebrows and widened my eyes. This was a surprise. Naomi was the last person I was expecting to see. "Naomi!" I gasped. "The door was open," she said, "Are you OK? You look really ill." "Yes, I know," I bluntly said, "Look, what are you doing here? I thought you were Nikki?" "Isn't she here?" asked Naomi. "No, she wasn't here when I got home from Cowes yesterday," I said, "God knows where she is. Her overnight bag's gone, so she's stayed out somewhere. She's obviously in a mood with me. If she comes back and sees you here, it won't help." Naomi came and sat next to me on the edge of the bed. "I just wanted to say sorry for yesterday," said Naomi, "You're right; I shouldn't have risen to Nikki's bait. I really am sorry, but you know, you said some pretty harsh stuff to me too." "Yeah, well I suppose I'm sorry too," I said, "You know I'm just sick of all this fighting." "I know," said Naomi, "You know, Tinsley came to see me. He gave me a right b*llocking." "Yeah, he said," I said, "He came round here yesterday to give Nikki a b*llocking, but obviously she wasn't in." "I was going to tell him to go and f*ck himself," said Naomi, "But I just sat there and said nothing. The man's an animal. One wrong word and he'd have thrown me into The Hive. I hate having to toe the line like this. Anyway, what's wrong with you?" "I think it's food poisoning," I said. "You know I miss seeing you, don't you?" said Naomi. "Yeah, well you know how it has to be," I said. "It doesn't have to be like this," said Naomi, "Me and Nikki could sit down and sort things out." "That's not what you said yesterday when you were wiping the floor with her face in Sails Café," I said. "She slapped me across the face for accidentally dropping water on her, Luke," said Naomi, "Christ, when are you going to stop sticking up for her. The woman's a violent nutter." "So, one minute you're saying you want to sort things out with her, the next you're calling her a violent nutter," I exclaimed. "That's what she is!" exclaimed Naomi. "HELLO?" a voice loudly called from the bottom of the stairs. I leapt forward and gasped. "Sh*t!" I quietly gasped, "That'll be Nikki. She'll kill me if she sees you here. Quick. Get in the wardrobe." "Oh, Luke, for God's sake," said Naomi. "Just get in the frigging wardrobe," I snapped, "Natasha's in there, but don't let that bother you." "What!?" exclaimed Naomi. She slid the door open to see Natasha standing with a confused look on her face. "What the Hell is going on?" said Natasha. "What is she doing in there?" exclaimed Naomi. "Just get inside the f*cking wardrobe," I snapped. Naomi shook her head in dismay and just as footsteps started to make their way upstairs, she joined Natasha in the wardrobe and slid the door shut. Braced for a heated confrontation with Nikki, I took a deep breath, which suddenly came to an abrupt end when I frowned with confusion when the owner of the footsteps appeared in the bedroom doorway. It wasn't Nikki. It was Sci-Fi Cyn. "Oh," I said, "It's you. What are you doing here?" "I let myself in," said Sci-Fi Cyn, "Your front door's ajar." "God, can't anyone shut a f*cking door behind them?" I snapped. "You look really ill," said Sci-Fi Cyn. "Yes, thank you," I snapped, "I know. I know. What are you doing here? You know Nikki doesn't want you here." "Is she in?" asked Sci-Fi Cyn. "No," I said, "She wasn't here when I got back, so she's obviously stayed overnight somewhere because she's in a mood with me." "I was really worried when you stormed off yesterday," said Sci-Fi Cyn, "I know Nikki doesn't want me here but I just had to come and see you." I was about to say something but I started coughing. Cyn quickly popped into the bathroom and returned a few moments later with a glass of cold water. As I continued to cough, I took hold of the glass and quickly gulped the cold liquid down my throat. "Oh, that's better," I said, "God I feel rough. I think some of that chicken in Nikki's pie can't have been cooked properly." "Well, hopefully you'll feel better soon," said Sci-Fi Cyn. "I hope so," I said. "Luke!?"  a voice from downstairs shouted up the stairs, "Why is the front door open?!" "For God's sake," I snapped, "It's like Piccadilly Circus in here today." "Luke, are you upstairs!?" the voice loudly called. "Sh*t," I gasped, "Now that really is Nikki." "I need to hide," said Sci-Fi Cyn. "Yes," I said, "Quick, hide in the wardrobe. Naomi and Natasha are in there, but don't worry about that." "What!?" exclaimed Sci-Fi Cyn, as she slid the wardrobe door open to discover Natasha and Naomi stood there looking perturbed. "Luke, what the Hell is going on?" exclaimed Sci-Fi Cyn. "That's what I want to know," said Naomi. "And me," snapped Natasha. "Just shut up and get in there," I snapped, "I'll get rid of Nikki and then you can all come out." Cyn entered the wardrobe, got squashed in with Naomi and Natasha and slid the door shut. I took a deep breath, composed myself and a few moments later Nikki appeared in the bedroom doorway. "What's going on?" she asked, "Why is the front door open. Minnie could have got out? What's up with you? You look really ill." "Yes," I said, "I ate your chicken pie that was in the fridge and I don't think the chicken was cooked properly." "Oh," said Nikki, "Something else you can blame me for." "Nikki, I don't want to argue," I said, "Especially when I feel like this. God, I ache all over and I feel really weak." "I don't want to argue either," said Nikki, "I came back so we could talk. Are you naked under there?" "Yeah," I said, "Look at me. I'm all hot and covered in sweat. I had to take all my clothes off to cool down. Where did you stay last night?" "At an old friends'," said Nikki. "Your ex came looking for you," I said. "Yeah, I bumped into him in Sandown this morning," said Nikki, "He gave me a good telling off for fighting with Naomi and trashing the café. To be honest, Richard T is least of my problems. I need to know why you didn't stand up for me?" "Look," I said, being very aware that Naomi, Natasha and Cyn were squashed in the wardrobe, "Let me get dressed and we can go for a walk on the beach and have a chat." "Go for a walk?" said a confused Nikki, "You said you were weak and that you ached all over." "Well, a walk might help," I said, "Fresh air and all that. That's why I left the door open. Come on, let's go." "Luke, I don't want to go for a walk on the beach," snapped Nikki. "Well, will you go to the shops and see if they've got any paracetamol?" I asked. "We've got some in the cupboard," said Nikki. "I think we might have run out," I said. "Well, we had plenty the other day," said Nikki, "They can't have all gone." "Look, will you please just go to the shops," I said. "You go to the bl**dy shops," snapped Nikki. "I'm ill," I exclaimed, "I ache all over." "You just said you wanted to go to the beach," exclaimed Nikki, "If you can go to the beach, you can go to the shops. Luke, what the Hell is going on. You're acting really weird." "I just feel ill," I said. "I don't care if you feel ill," said Nikki, "We need to talk. It was bad enough when you snogged Natasha, but then you just stood there and did nothing whilst Naomi attacked me." "I didn't snog Natasha," I said, "She snogged me, and I tried to stop you and Naomi from fighting but you pushed me out of the way." "God, you call yourself a man," snapped Nikki, "You're an embarrassment. I think something's been going on with you and that sl*t next door for ages. In fact, I think you've still been seeing that Naomi. Now I come to think of it, you see that Sci-Fi Cyn every other day. Are you having it off with all three of them?" "Don't be ridiculous," I said. "I bet you've got all three of them hidden in the wardrobe," Nikki flippantly said. She then slid the wardrobe door open to reveal an awkward looking Natasha, Naomi and Sci-Fi Cyn, stood there, squashed up against each other. "OH MY GOD, YOU HAVE!!" yelled Nikki, with shock and horror plastered across her face. "No!" I loudly said, "This isn't what it looks like." "That's why you're naked and why you're all sweaty," snapped Nikki, "You've been shagging these three slags!" "No, I haven't," I said, "I really haven't." "And in our own bed too!" exclaimed Nikki, "You b*stard. You selfish, two-timing...No, three-timing...No! Four-timing b*stard!" "Nikki, this isn't what it looks like," said Sci-Fi Cyn. "I don't want to hear anything from you three sl*gs!" Nikki snapped, "God, I can't believe this is happening!" "I think maybe we should leave," said Natasha. "No!" Nikki, loudly exclaimed, "Stay. Have a great foursome with Luke the stud. I'm the one that's leaving, and I really don't think I'm ever coming back!" Nikki then stormed off, marched down the stairs and stomped out of the house, slamming the front door behind her." A tense silence followed as I closed my eyes feeling incredibly frustrated. "Well," I said, "Another sh*t storm to deal with. Thanks, you lot." "Luke, you DID tell us all to hide in here," said Natasha. "You should have just been honest with Nikki," said Sci-Fi Cyn. "Oh, yeah," I sarcastically said, "Because that's worked for me before hasn't it? For f*cks sake, what am I going to do now!?" "Is there anything we can do to help?" asked Naomi. "Yes," I bluntly said, "Just leave me alone."

Naomi, Natasha and Cyn eventually left, leaving me on my own, in the house, feeling like sh*t and with only that devil cat for company. The good news is that now I am starting to feel a lot better. God knows what was wrong when I woke up this morning but I really did feel like cr*p. God knows where Nikki's gone. I suppose I need to try and track her down and explain things. Mind you, it's not going to be easy to explain. Her turning up and seeing me naked and sweaty in bed whilst Cyn, Naomi and Natasha were hidden in the wardrobe isn't the sort of thing that looks good or is easy to explain. Being honest hasn't always gone in my favour but perhaps this time being hones is the best thing to do. I suppose it is going to sound far-fetched though. Imagine it; "Sorry Nikki, but Naomi, Natasha and Cyn all turned up within minutes of each other just when I was in bed all naked and sweaty". Even I'd have trouble believing that one. Maybe I need to be VERY honest and say that I was worried that if Nikki found all three of them in the house that she'd kick off. It is the truth, but I'm just not sure if being that truthful will do any favours.

First things first, I need to get properly better and then try and find Nikki.