Luke's Diary: An Unlucky Man In A Zombie Apocalypse. Entries 957 - 1157

Entry 1007: Sunday 30th June 2019

Entry 1007
Sunday 30th June 2019

I met up with Mike and Sci-Fi Cyn at The Beach Café in Sandown today and Nikki nearly caught us!

When I arrived at the café, Cyn and Mike were already there and talking about Blade's announcement. I joined them, started drinking my tea Cyn had bought for me and then contributed to the conversation. We started off by talking about Blade's announcement. I had to be mindful of what I was saying because it seems that Cyn won't hear a bad word against Blade. "Well, I think it's a good idea to use the infected to generate power," said Sci-Fi Cyn, "But I must admit, even I'm not convinced with positioning them on the beaches in Cowes and Sandown to deter to late night swimmers."  "I'm telling you," I said, "This will all end in disaster. It's bad enough we're caring for those infected and housing them at The Hive, but having them amongst the public?! Crazy." "I can't believe Blade talked about using them for transport?" said Mike, "I mean that's stupid. What's he going to do? You can't teach the infected to drive a bus can you?" "That's not what he has in mind, Mike," said Sci-Fi Cyn, "I think he's on about getting them to pull vehicles and things. I don't know the details, but there are a few ideas knocking about." "The best idea is to kill all of those dirty piggies," said Mike. "Personally, I think the best thing is to avoid them," said Sci-Fi Cyn. "The whole thing is stupid," I said, "If someone really wants to go late night swimming then they'll do it whether infected are there or not. The shoreline is pretty long and we don't have enough infected in The Hive to cover the entire breadth." "Luke, Blade is putting infected there to deter people from late night swimming," said Sci-Fi Cyn, "I think he thinks that some infected to act as deterrents is better than none." "B*llocks," I said, "People are going to flock to the beaches to get a good morbid look at the infected, and like I said, the shoreline is really long; if someone really wants to go late night swimming they'll still be able to, infected or no infected... and anyway what's with all the sudden concern about late night swimmers? Is there a mass gathering of people desperate to go swimming in the dark? The whole thing is stupid. Blade hasn't got a clue. He needs to tell Natasha to do one." "He has a hard job, Luke," said Sci-Fi Cyn, "He's doing his best." "Anyway," I said, "You need to tell him to get me another job." "Luke," said Sci-Fi Cyn, "If I tell him you want another job, he's going to ask why. Then I will have to tell him, and he'll probably want to speak to you which means him turning up on your doorstep to chat to you, and as you haven't told Nikki you've walked out, do you really want Jon turning up to talk to you about it?" "Cyn's right," said Mike, "Maybe you should tell Nikki first?" "No," I firmly said with assertiveness in my voice. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were scared of her," said Sci-Fi Cyn. "Don't be daft," I said, "I just want to get this sorted. Can't Blade just give me another job and then I'll just turn up? There's a Sainsbury's round the corner. I worked there when I first got out of the cryogenics." "There might not be any vacancies there," said Sci-Fi Cyn. "Well, can you at least ask him?" I said. "Fine," said Sci-Fi Cyn, "I'll have a word, but he does have a lot on his plate." "Doesn't he always," I said, rolling my eyes.

Cyn went to the loo leaving me with Mike and as we continued chatting, I looked outside the window and noticed Nikki with Leo. They were approaching the café. "Oh sh*t," I gasped.  I knew if Nikki saw me in the café with Cyn and Mike she would hit the roof. "What's up, babes?" asked Mike. "Err... Well...Err... Sh*t," I said, "I need a sh*t." "OK..." said Mike. "Will you come with me?" I asked with a hint of panic in my voice. "Come with you?" asked a confused Mike. "Yes," I said, standing up from my chair, with a sense of urgency, "Come with me." "You mean like when friends go to the loo together?" said Mike. "Err... Yeah," I said, "Something like that. Come on!" I grabbed hold of Mike's arm and ushered him towards the toilets.  "What's up babes?" asked Mike, "You look worried." "Well, yeah," I said, "I'm kind of touching cloth here. Come on let's go."

As Nikki approached the café, I grabbed hold of Mike with a real sense of urgency, dragged him into the gents and flung him into a cubical. "Babes, I don't need the toilet," said Mike, "I thought I was just going to come and talk to you." "Of course you need the loo," I said, "After what you've just eaten, how can you not need the loo?" "Well, aren't you going to go?" asked Mike, as he noticed I was still hovering by the sinks. "Yes, but I've just realised I've left my keys out there on the table," I said, making an excuse to leave and get rid of Nikki, "I don't want to leave them out there. Anyone could grab hold of them. You wait there, I'll be back in a minute."

I dashed out of the loo and raced over to the counter just as Nikki entered the café with Leo. I smiled at her and waved, giving her the impression that I was totally yet pleasantly surprised to see her. As Nikki walked over to me, I got the attention of the woman who worked behind the counter. "There's a woman in the ladies wearing a Pac Man T-Shirt snorting coke," I quietly said, "God knows where she's got it from, but she's off her head. She's going to come out here and cause a right scene. I'd keep her in there until she's calmed down if I were you." The woman behind the counter looked incredibly worried and dashed over to the ladies just as Nikki came up to me. "Hello you," I said, "What a pleasant surprise." "I thought we'd pop down and see your Mum," said Nikki, "Where is she?" "She's gone," I said," "She didn't stay long. She's got the flu. She's really contagious. In fact, she looked like sh*t." "Oh dear," said Nikki. "Yeah," I said, "The problem is she gave me a big kiss and a cuddle, and I think she might have passed her bl**dy germs on to me. I can already feel myself getting ill. You and Leo should go home. I don't want to pass the germs that Mum's passed on to me, to you two." "It'll be OK," said Nikki, "As we're here we could sit and have a cuppa." "No!" I loudly and urgently said. "Why? What's wrong?" asked Nikki. "Look can we just go home?" I said, "I really don't feel well and to be honest I feel like I might be sick." "Well, if you think you're going to be sick, don't just stand there," said Nikki, "Go to the loo." "Yeah, I think I will," I said. "Me and Leo will wait here for you." "You know what?" I said, "I'd really appreciate it if you could go to Sainsbury's and see if they have any sickness tablets. Could you go home and run me a bath too?" "Bl**dy Hell," said Nikki, "What did your last slave die of?" "Please babes," I said. Nikki rolled her eyes. "OK," she said, "You just go and be sick, and hurry up. You need to be wrapped up in bed." "OK," I said, "I'll see you back at home." Nikki walked towards the café door with Leo as I walked towards the gents, clutching my stomach and pretending to feel ill.

Once Nikki had left, I walked back over to the table and breathed a sigh of relief. I looked out of the window and saw Nikki walking towards the High Street with Leo. Mike appeared. "What's going on babes?" he said, "I thought you needed a poo." "Yeah..." I said, "I thought I did, but I don't now." "That's weird, because I thought I didn't need a poo but I ended up having a really big one," said Mike, "Maybe you were feeling the poo that I needed? That would be good wouldn't it? A bit weird, but good. Like we're connected. Like when Dads get sympathy pains when their wives are going into labour." Sci-Fi Cyn then appeared. "That was weird," said Sci-Fi Cyn, "The woman behind the counter just came into the loo and accused me of taking drugs." "Weird," I said, giving the impression I knew nothing about it. "She said some wrinkly middle-aged man went up to her and told her I was taking cocaine," said Sci-Fi Cyn. "What!?" I angrily exclaimed, feeling annoyed that the old b*tch behind the counter had referred to me in such a way. "I know," said Sci-Fi Cyn, "Why would someone do that? Whoever he was, he must have gone. God, people can be weird." "I know," said Mike, "I've just had a sympathy poo." "What?" said Sci-Fi Cyn. I told Cyn and Mike that I wasn't feeling well and had to go home. That was a close shave. Nikki would have kicked off big time if she'd have seen me with Cyn and Mike. I have to do something. I'm playing a dangerous game here and I know I can't go on like this forever. I need to avoid eye contact with the woman who works behind the counter in The Beach Café too...

I'm in bed now. I've had to continue the farce of making out I'm ill to follow the lie through. It's not all bad though. Nikki has been making me tea, feeding me soup and fussing over me. I could get used to this.

The infected get placed on Sandown Beach tomorrow night. That's something I'll never get used to. I hope it doesn't all end in disaster, but somehow, I think it probably will. I hope Cyn works her magic on Blade and gets me another job... Then I don't have to continue lying to Nikki. Tomorrow I'm going to have to leave in the morning as if I'm going to work to give Nikki the impression that I'm still employed. Maybe I could just stay in bed ill? That might buy me some time until I find out what my new job is.